The Year Without Selfies
The Rules:
1. No selfies for an entire year.
2. If you’d like to capture a moment with another person, you must ask someone else to take the picture.
3. If you’re really feeling your outfit, great. Ask someone else to take a photo of you.
4. You may participate in selfies other people initiate, but exercise good judgment for your motivations.
The Disclaimers:
1. No I do not think selfies are bad.
2. No I am not judging you. I probably think your selfies are super cute and will like them on social media tbh.
3. Yes I will probably mess up multiple times and take selfies without thinking about it. That’s how ingrained this is. Yes I will give myself grace and forgive myself if I do so.
4. Sure you can do this with me. If you have questions, email me at [email protected]
The Explanation:
I struggle with body image.
While the issue is ubiquitous, it is also intensely personal. Much of my self-worth is tied to my body, my looks, my comparison. It’s something I've struggled with all my life; I know the origins very well.
But frankly, I’m pretty sick of it.
Although I’ve made great strides in finding my worth in Christ (by the grace of God alone!!!), I still reel all the way back on the pendulum to self-hate and insecurity. When this happens, I constantly need external affirmation. Selfies are an incredibly easy way to get that affirmation.
Take a selfie, send it to my husband, he says I’m so beautiful.
Take a selfie, send it to my family, they say I’m so funny.
Take a selfie, send it to friends, they say I’m so awesome.
Take a selfie, send it to social media, likes say I’m so interesting.
Selfies also let me constantly monitor how I look. Does this new hairstyle work? Do I look like I’ve gained weight? How bad is my acne today? Why is my hair suddenly Severus-Snape-style greasy? Are my teeth white enough? Are they straight enough? Can you tell how many blackheads I have on my lip line? Can you tell my eyebrows aren’t done? Can you tell I cut my own bangs? Is my makeup running? Do I need makeup? Am I pretty enough for my new job? Am I sexy enough for my husband? Am I fashionable enough for my mom?
On and on and on it goes. I am obsessed. Utterly, completely obsessed with myself. I get it, we live in a culture of selfies. I get it! Selfies can be super cute pictures, especially when you have memories you want to cherish with loved ones. But for me, honestly, how is partaking in a habit where I spend my leisure time laying on a couch taking the perfect pictures not an unhealthy obsession?
When I think about it, I think selfies are an enabler for me not tackling my own body image issues. With the consistent fuel of self-affirmation from obsessively examining how I look that day, along with others’ affirmation when I choose to share these pictures, I can nurse my insecurities on a surface level.
But everyone knows that external affirmation does not solve the deep heart issue of insecurity.
Self-love and body image are such multifaceted issues that I’m not embarking on this journey with even the hint of a belief that this exercise will solve all my problems. I do, however, think it is a healthy step for me to take.
So long, selfies. Hopefully when I meet you again in a year, I will be healthier, stronger, and wiser.
xx, mi
(The last selfie taken on my phone, late last night.)
