#yeahsame

if you remember what this page used to look like,

How do I show you that I do care? How do I make it seem like I'm not just being cold and indifferent? What am I supposed to say to prove to you that I'm not just a hollow fucking shell like you think I am? What can I say to make any of this better?

I think that's my problem.

I have no idea what I'm supposed to say. You think I've been in this situation before? You think I have experience, that I'm confident in a plan of action? No. I'm not. I have no clue what to do. I'm terrified that what you're saying is going to come true and there's not a god damned thing on this earth I can do to stop it.

Not one thing I could do, that I know of.

Yet that's what you need; confirmation. you need to know that I'm not just sitting here ignoring you, sluffing you off like some acquataintance I hardly care about. That's how it seems I'm acting, i know, but I don't know how the alternative is supposed to look like in this situation. Is this where I pull out the sappy words? Is there where I try to say or make you feel like everything is going to be okay?

Would any of that even work? Would there be a point?

I don't know. That's my problem. It's not that I don't care. I care a fuck ton. I've been thinking about nothing but how to get out of this hole but nothing comes to mind because I just don't know what to do.

Would apologizing even make a difference at this point? You tell me.

Would trying to talk you down make a difference? Probably not, it's been getting progressively less effective with each one of your breakdowns.

So where does that leave me? What options do I have anymore?

Please, if you have the answer, tell me. I'd love to know

And I wouldn't be asking if I didn't care, now would I?

I wouldn't pick up every single one of your calls would I?

I wouldn't go get your sweatshirt out of your car when you're being too lazy, would I?

I wouldn't have put up with you for this long if i didn't care, would I?

Would I have taken care of you while you recovered from your wisdom teeth operation?

Would I have helped your mom with the dog when she needed to go to the vet if I didn't care?

Seems like a massive fucking waste of my time if I didn't, doesn't it?