My fan art of Bojack and Diane.

Then, when I was 17 I hanged out with friends at my room. We were in a silly mood and decided it would be funny to turn off the light and hide under the blanket. Two of my friends were busy giggling while another friend started to spoon me and touch me. He slowly lowered his hands and rubbed in me. I freaked out and did nothing but be silent. I didn't even move or moved him. I was completely shocked. He asked me if I was okay and I just made the sound "mmm" because I seriously couldn't speak. It may consider as consent. I don't know, I'll be honest. But all I wanted to do is to run away.

When I had my first boyfriend, I told him what happened and asked him not to try anything. I said that if he tries, I may not resist but it doesn't mean I want it. I said that if I want something to happen, I'll be the one to try. A week later he started touching me and tried to take off my bra. It was so hard to move. It took me a few minutes, only when he was too close to taking off my bra, I managed to stop him. It took all my strength to make myself do that.

Few days ago, an old man decided it was okay to put his hands on my knees when I was sitting at a store. And guess what? Again I did nothing. He asked me questions about myself and I answered. I wanted him to get his hand off me and I didn't do anything about it.

I'm always doing nothing. I can't make myself say anything or react differently.

I know I should work on that. But maybe, just maybe, don't touch me? Like ever? Unless you ask FIRST and I say it's okay?

so i have just finished watching this season and let me tell you, I AM DONE WITH THIS SHOW.

totally done. 

i’m not going to watch even one episode more. that’s it.

there were times when this show was my favorite but come on. we all can admit this show should have ended in season 7 or 8 top. derek shouldn’t have died in this stupid way. he saved lives and was stupid enough to stop his car in the middle of the fucking road just to search his cellphone??? come on! he knows better than that! he survived harder situations than that!!! and meredith finds out that she’s pregnant exactly after he dies. stupid stupid stupid stupid.