#yappingintotheproverbialvoid

Today lowk wasn't great and I'm highkirkenuinely sad and I feel bad for a lot of people and why is there so much suffering in the world

In the club, straight up ending it, and by it, lets just say, my existence ✌️

Also might I add I keep getting recurring dreams of my memories me getting SA'ed by my fucking first (and rlly creepy) ex and literally every time I wake up either talking or yelling, crying or shivering a cold sweat. GOD PLEASE END MY SHI BRO

I dont fucking know why but I miss my fucking ex so much and I literally am going insane right now, I've been fucking ugly crying for the past 45 minutes for I dont even know why. I miss the security of a relationship. The simplicity of unconditional love. The ability to be able to show someone how much I love them physically. I know we'll never be together again yet I still love you with all of my heart. And at the same time, I hate you. I hate the way you broke up with me, I hate the way that so many little things remind me of you. I want it to end, I want to forget about you but at the same time I have such fondness for the memories we made together. But then again, maybe I deserve this for how I wronged you? Even though I still can't fully understand it from your point of view I know I wronged you. I know I hurt you and I understand why you were upset at me. I know I'll still want you back always even years from now, and I hope one day maybe we can try again, but deep down I know that that won't happen.