#yapping back

hi! you may know me as speaker anon from a certain side blog where i trolled 🥀/briar for a while before ending up in a state of concord! (in short we got along! woohoo!!)

you may call me speaker anon, or some fancy name or nickname idk i'm trying to figure that out myself

my special gimmick is going around other blogs/places and blast random noises, ranging from random bullshit to music memes, to some cool bangers!

oh yeah i go by any pronouns so go crazy go stupid with it even

tags are at the bottom with some important information!

Does Ilya bring up a threesome with Marley as a joke (that is not a joke nor treated like one)?

Does Shane make an offhanded comment about Cliff being hot and Ilya pounces on it?

Does Cliff hit on Shane at a Cens party and Ilya is off to the side rubbing his hands together with a horny smirk?

Please impart us with your wisdom thank you 🙏

me emerging from my temple to yap

i feel like it’s fair to say that regardless of where you stand on hollanoveau it’s widely accepted in the space that marley and ilya have fucked by proxy. they have made out sloppy style in the clubs when the girls weren’t asking. they have fucked girls side by side in the same room. they have had a threesome with a girl in the middle. as the lonely island once famously said: it’s not gay if it’s in a three way

SO, when in the winter of 2016-2017 ilya is suddenly very angry and depressed and self destructive, Good Buddy Marleau is like hey pookie what’s wrong you didn’t even touch your jaeger bomb :((( are you okay :(((( and ilya finally admits montreal jane broke up with him and he’s really upset about it actually. and marleau is pissed on his behalf but is also like hey… if you need to take your mind off it… i got you man…. and then oops it’s no longer not gay bc they skip the part where there’s a girl in the middle. but it was for a good cause!!! bro was sad!!!

except marleau is a dumbass and catches Really Real feelings for ilya during this time and ilya does the same however to an admittedly lesser degree bc he’s still down so goddamn bad for shane. they carry on until all stars in tampa. ilya and shane have their lil moment. there is still hope. the ugly jimmy buffett shirt WORKED.

however comma. that night while shane and ilya are tearing that hotel bed APART a very drunk marleau comes knocking on the door trying to hit it. he does not know shane is there. ilya is like ughhh lemme get rid of him hang on and opens the door. marley BARGES in and at first does not even register a half-naked shane trying to hide under the bed he’s just like oh shit hey hollander - BRO did rozy tell you about that bitch jane who dumped him?? she thought she could do better than big dog??? fuckin jane… jane… shane…? jane?? oh my fucking god it’s you isn’t it you’re montreal jane arent you holy fuck. as you can imagine they have a Discussion. it’s frustrating and tense and deeply stupid bc marleau is so goddamn drunk but by the end of it they’re like okay well. we both love like ilya so. we will come back to this another time. anyways marley go sleep it off we have a dick appointment to get back to thanks xoxo

ilyas fuckass dad dies. shane is there for him. but so is marley. ilya mentions this to shane and he’s like yknow… that’s really nice tbh im glad you’ve got him there for you when you get back to boston. marley sounds like a good guy.

and then the fateful montreal vs boston game. marleau, as the ever eloquent @elokitties once said, fully clears shane’s shit and puts his ass in the hospital. THIS IS ACCIDENTAL!!!! HE DID NOTTTTT MEAN TO DO THIS!!!!! it’s not his fault fuckin loverboy deluxe WASNT LOOKING WHERE HE WAS GOING IN THE FUCKING NEUTRAL ZONE AND GOT HIS SHIT ROCKED GOD HOLLANDER LOCK IN!!!!!!! he’s still sore that he hurt ilya like that but he knows they’re good now and he certainly didn’t want to HOSPITALIZE HIM OVER IT

marley feels so. SO bad about this. as I’ve mentioned before this is when he sounds shane a GIANT teddy bear (in a raiders jersey ofc) along with a card that says “I AM SO SORRY. CALL ME.” with his number. and shane usually wouldn’t do that but like. he’s out for the season. he’s sitting at home bored as fuck. he sees ilya playing though cracked ribs in the playoffs so he’s like fuck it. starts texting marley.

and marley is a fucking YAPPER the man texts like a teenage girl. he also sends so. so many pictures of himself half naked and sweaty and flexing in the mirror. fucking peacocking over here. and shane starts to be like 😳 huh. interesting. why is My Type just boston raiders forwards. this is concerning. but also haha threesome with marley…. kind of hot idea….

😈

“No, I want it to hurt.”

Cliff paused, because he was a normal fucking guy, thanks, and because this shit made him nervous. This was a gateway kinda thing. First they want you to slap them around in bed, they’re they want you to tie them up, and then they want to tie you up, and that shit is a one-way ticket to a goddamn panic attack for Cliff.

“He likes it, Marley,” Ilya purred. “Watch his cock, not his face.”

Ilya leaned over where Shane was laid out on the bed. He cranked his hand back and backhanded him. The sound of his skin cracking against Shane’s cheek was disgraceful, but it paled in comparison to the lewd moan that tore from Shane’s chest.

It also was nothing but background noise to the way Shane’s cock jumped at the impact. A shining bead of precome pearled at the tip, threatening to break free and drizzle down his shaft at any moment.

“See,” Ilya said with a smirk over his shoulder. “Is good for him. You can still say no, but…”

“Please, Daddy,” Shane whimpered. Whimpered. Cliff thought he knew what that word meant until he met this private, nigh-insatiable version of Shane Hollander. “Just once?”

His onyx eyes were shiny with unshed tears. His right cheek was blazing red from Ilya’s blow.

And damn him, Cliff was harder than he had ever been.

Ilya slid to the side and Cliff crawled on top of Shane, knees bracketing his hips, his large, thickly muscled torso held over Shane’s own.

It felt electric as he swung his arm across Shane’s face. His palm sung with the impact. Shane’s left cheek bloomed with color to match the right, and he smiled and sighed as if Cliff had given him a precious gift.

He wants to be taken apart, cleaned (not just scrubbed down. Carefully cleaned with the specific tools for the job in all the nooks and crannies of his mind. Polished to a fine sheen), and reassembled.

Already, sometimes, he's Cliff and Ilya's doll. He is their pretty thing, dollbaby, toy. But objectified in that way, he is still, inescapably, a body.

He watches Cliff handle a handgun with precise, confident movements. Respect and control. And Shane wonders how to ask to be, when he's been used particularly hard, more of a tool than a toy.

GOOOOOOOD MORNING!!!!! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!

Shane envying the handgun for its usefulness. For the way it has exactly one purpose and that purpose is To Harm. Nobody ever criticizes the gun for this. Nobody ever expects it to do anything else. And after it does it’s One Task it gets handled so reverently, so carefully, because everyone knows that that One Task is. Even in pieces, it is handled with awe. With the knowledge that, one reassembled, it once again becomes a weapon. A tool To Harm. He wants that kind of thoughtless respect, but also the bliss of knowing exactly what he is and what he can do with no other expectations put upon him.

Oh absolutely we can. Ilya knows he’s bisexual by the time he gets to the states and is living with Cliff. He knows he has to be careful, but it’s also thrilling, being in this country where being queer isn’t straight up illegal. So he starts playing gay chicken with Cliff.

It starts off light enough. Ass slapping, titty twisters, comments on each other’s physique. Critiquing each others’ dick pics and Tinder profiles. Horny games of “would you rather.” Perfectly friendly. Raunchy, but friendly.

But it ramps up over the season. Grinding on each other in the club when they’re both feeling buzzed. Grinding leads to making out, justified to everyone else that’s out with them that “chicks dig it, man, try it, you’ll pull craaaazy ass” (no one else succeeds with this method, probably because no one else is making out sloppy style with Cliff or Ilya)

Until finally they’re tucked into a VIP booth one night, Ilya drunk but not very, Cliff’s been watching him like he always does, he’s nowhere near as wasted as he pretends to be, not with the few drinks he’s had. And Ilya’s draping himself over Cliff’s lap, ass grinding against his cock through their clothes, mouth hot against Cliff’s neck as he mumbles dirty things to him in Russian. He’s waiting for Cliff to push him off, to tell him to knock it off with the gay shit already, it’s not funny Roz, quit acting like a fucking fag in public.

But he doesn’t.

So Ilya presses his mouth against Cliff’s ear and purrs, “You gonna take me home and fuck me tonight, Marley?”

And Cliff’s big hand grinds up the inside of Ilya’s thigh, until he’s cupping his cock through Ilya’s pants, his grip firm and possessive. Ilya gasps. Cliff is bigger than him, and the reminder makes his head spin.

Because I was wondering what you might do with this

Quote: "You want a treat?"

(baby i am always here to turn out microfics im like a very horny vending machine)

The puppy thing was fucking weird, at first.

Cliff is not a sex connoisseur by any means. He likes to fuck, sure. He’s always been game for a threesome, or foursome, or however-many-some, really, because it was all the same thing at the end of the day. Cock go in hole, things happen, feels good.

It’s not until he gets with Luca that things… escalate.

Luca is into Other Things. Sex, yes, but sex with Props and Accessories and Devices. Sex with Terms and Conditions and Rules. It throws Cliff off at first, not because he’s never heard of any of it (though some of the things are 100% novel to him) but because it’s never been his thing in particular. He’s never put this much thought into just Having Sex before.

But Luca likes it. He likes wearing a collar around the house. He likes when Cliff leashes him and calls him “puppy”. He likes the tail plug that Cliff eases into his ass as he tells him what a good boy he is. And whatever Luca likes, Luca gets, because Cliff can’t not spoil his partners, especially one as perfect and adoring as Luca Haas.

And it’s rubbing off on Cliff, whether he’s aware of it or not.

They’re not even really doing anything particularly erotic when Cliff suddenly asks the question. Luca is laying with his head in Cliff’s lap in the bed, some reality show playing at low volume on the TV. But suddenly, Cliff finds himself asking:

“Do you want a treat?”

Luca looks up, immediately awake. “Yes, please,” he sighs.

“Come here, puppy,” Cliff murmurs, patting his lap, and then Luca is scrambling onto him, straddling his hips.

“Good boy,” Cliff praises, and already Luca is squirming in his arms, body warm and getting warmer from the words and the close contact. Cliff slides a hand between them, shoving Luca’s boxers down to grip his half-hard cock. The kid has the libido of a fucking jackrabbit and can get a stiffie in thirty seconds flat, Cliff swears.

Luca gasps and whines against Cliff’s neck as he strokes him, hips grinding in small circles with the motion, a puppy humping his master greedily. Cliff lets him, because Cliff is a fucking pushover, and because the friction against his own hardening cock is delicious. His free hand reaches around to grab Luca’s ass roughly, tugging his cheek to the side.

“Who’s my good boy?” Cliff growls in Luca’s ear, giving his cockhead a twist.

“I-I am, Daddy,” Luca pants, rocking harder into Cliff’s hand, chasing the friction with fervor. “I’m your good boy. I want to be good for you. I want to be the best for you.”

“You are, baby,” Cliff assures him, kissing his temple. “Such a good boy for me. Now come for Daddy.”

Newsweek ran the story first.

BREAKING: Ottawa Centaurs Forward Cliff Marleau Released On Bond Following Assault Charge Against Reporter

OTTAWA, ON - Cliff Marleau, forward for the Ottawa Centaurs and former player for the Boston Raiders, was released from police custody early this morning. This follows his arrest over the weekend that resulted from an aggravated assault against a reporter. Marleau was witnessed and filmed punching a photographer in the face as said photographer was following Centaurs captain Ilya Rozanov and Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander from a parking garage.

When asked for comment, Marleau was happy to provide.

“I told the guy to back up,” he claims. “He didn’t back up. I gave him another chance, and he just kept getting in their faces. So I went hockey-bro on his ***. “

Rozanov and Hollander have been at the epicenter of a whirlwind of coverage following the leaked video that reportedly shows the two engaging in an intimate moment together. Tensions are high in the hockey world following the video’s circulation, and it is still unclear what the future holds for either teams’ captain.

When asked if he would do it again, Marleau said, “Yes. Absolutely. That is a promise. Stay away from my boys.”