#yanmin

↣ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰

↣ 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘹 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯 (𝘸/ 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘳𝘦𝘯, 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘮𝘪𝘯, 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘫𝘦𝘯, 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘤𝘬, 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨 & 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 + 𝘫𝘢𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘨)

“yanna?” sungchan approached her, as soon as the other boys left with their things. yanna was in the middle of wearing her hoodie, feeling the cold wind as soon as she was well-rested after rehearsals. her head snapped up at the tone of the boy’s voice.

“yeah?” she asked the boy who looked nervous. her questioning eyes made him panic a bit, it was no secret that the girl looked cute when confused. but that wasn’t what this was about.

“are... you okay?” he silently asked her, she was obviously surprised. her eyes widened a bit before smiling warmly and nodding her head.

“it was nothing, my wrist works fine. look!” she said before wiggling her wrists and even showing the boy a move that involved it. but sungchan was not amused, he tried to smile but they both know what he was really talking about. chenle was right about yanna, she doesn’t like talking about things that upset her. specially when it’s something she can deal with herself. something she’s probably upset about on her own.

but as someone who yanna has helped out before, sungchan wanted to be of comfort for her.

“you know what i’m talking about...” he mumbled, but yanna caught it of course. she tightly smiled and sighed, flopping down on the ground with her back against the mirror.

“were you put up to this because i wouldn’t talk about it?” she asked the boy, but he wasn’t sure how to answer. he’d be lying if he said that the boys haven’t talked about who would be the best to talk to her about it, but he volunteered to do it. along with renjun, jaemin, jeno, taeyong, haechan and jisung. in the end, he explained why he really wanted to do it, so the others just gave him advice on how to approach yanna and what not to say when it comes to her.

there were a lot. but what he remembered vividly was renjun’s words.

“never force her to talk about it, nudge her once and if she tells you then that means she trusts you enough to tell you. also, listen to her. just listen until she stops talking, she’ll really appreciate that.” he said.

“why don’t you just talk to her, injunie?” taeyong asked, sungchan listened in as he was also curious.

“if she wanted to talk to me about it, she already would’ve, hyung. i know she thinks it’d be unfair and selfish for her to talk about it with me, but maybe if it’s someone new then she’d feel less burdened to act okay. she knows we care about her, but everyone knows she always cares about us more.” he explained, leaving sungchan in awe at how much renjun knew about the girl.

“so? who told you to ask me? was it taeyong-hyung or injunie? maybe it was jisung, he’s always worried about me.” she rambled on, making sungchan stare at her. yanna caught his glance and immediately blinked before putting her hands inside the pockets of her hoodie.

“you wanted to on your own?” she asked.

“we all wanted to talk to you about it but i volunteered, i just felt like... i wanted to be of help to you since you kind of helped me a lot in terms of adjusting.” he explained, yanna could only nodded before looking at her toes. jeno was right, he thought to himself. that was one of the signs that yanna was upset, her looking at her toes. then the next thing would be?

he smiled as soon as yanna brought her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on it. that’s what jaemin said she would do next, it was her way of finding comfort for herself.

“they really love you, you know.” he blurted out. yanna looked at him and nodded, of course she knows that.

“that’s why it’s harder to talk to them. i don’t want them to suppress their feelings just for my own, i don’t want them to feel bad for me. i know they’re happy about this, i am too. nct 2020 is a huge opportunity for all of us, but...” she sighed, now picking at the sleeves of her hoodie. another thing jisung noted yanna would do when she’s upset.

“but my solo album was also a huge opportunity for me. i feel bad that i’m sad about it, i feel... selfish. but at the same time, this was going to happen either way. why did it have to clash?” she asked, more to herself than sungchan who was listening in.

“i worked so hard for it...” her voice broke, making sungchan panic as she buried her head to her knees. he glanced around, forgetting no one was there besides him.

“hug her.” haechan said, making renjun turn to him a bit.

“what? you don’t want to let him hug your girlfriend? are you threatened?” he teased renjun, making the other boys laugh.

“hug her, she’ll like it. REALLY-“ his words got cut off by renjun jokingly attacking him.

sungchan carefully sat next to yanna, putting his arm around her a bit before patting her shoulder and head as she silently cried. he couldn’t hug the girl, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable with him and not wanting to annoy renjun even though he knew it was just a joke.

but yanna felt a bit better with it, it was enough. atleast she could let it out and not keep it all inside anymore.

“are they gonna be mad i told you how i felt instead of telling them?” she asked, chin once again on top of her knees.

“well, probably not? but, you could tell them too so they’d feel less sad about it. they just want to know how you’re taking it. specially renjun-hyung, he’s worried and he knows exactly why you’re not telling him.” the boy explained, yanna could only sniffle and chuckle.

“then why didn’t you tell me that earlier? that they just wanted to know how i’m feeling about it?” the girl asked.

“uh, renjun-hyung said i should never interrupt you...” he mumbled, smiling a bit before shyly holding his nape. yanna also smiled, silently pinching renjun’s cheek in her head.

“am i being selfish?” the girl asked. sungchan became nervous, not wanting to say anything rude. so he chose to think hard before speaking up.

“i don’t think so. just because you want something for yourself, that doesn’t mean you’re automatically selfish. like you said, this comeback was bound to happen. it just came earlier than we all expected, so it’s not really you stripping everyone off of a chance to promote this album by feeling bad your solo album was postponed. it’s just you wanting something for yourself, that you rightfully deserve anyways.” the boy explained, making her smile.

“i’m sure it’s what everyone thinks, yanna. we’d never blame you for wanting to make music that represents you. just like how you don’t blame me for being happy about debuting.” he quietly said, hoping he was right about the last part. yanna of course noticed the boy’s uncertainty in the last sentence, making her turn to him with a smile.

“of course, i’m happy for you!” she said with a laugh.

silence filled the room, yanna composing herself as she thought of how she would tell the dream members she was sorry for keeping it all inside.

sungchan on the other hand was confused if he should tell the other members what yanna said or just let her tell them herself. as he thought of taeyong, he remembered what that hyung said about yanna.

“if she looks bothered or still contemplating after, just buy her ice cream. it helps her think clearly when she’s drained.” the older one said, making sungchan nod.

“do you want some ice cream before heading home?” sungchan asked, yanna immediately smiled and nodded.

“i guess you really did talk to all of them.” she mumbled, grabbing her bag. sungchan could only smile.

“but i bet you didn’t talk to jaehyun-hyung?” the girl asked, leaving him confused.

“he never would’ve let you pat my head like that.” she said while laughing, remembering how protective jaehyun is. specially when it comes to his favorite way of comforting her.

i’ll add to this bc i’m angsty too hhhh and i miss u too 🥺 //

but even though he knows, no one can blame jaemin for still looking at yanna the same way the girl looks at renjun. there are a lot of occasions where that would actually be happening and jeno would have to snap him out of it, but he can’t really help it. it’s like an everyday struggle of trying not to notice how yanna laughs with her eyes and whisker-like dimples come out of her cheeks. how she clears her throat when she wants people around her to focus on practicing. and how her eyes light up when she’s being complimented. he tries not to notice, because he knows he’s not the only one who does. he tries not to notice so he’ll be able to look away fast enough before renjun cups the girl’s cheeks to give her a forehead kiss. fast enough so he could pull jisung and tell him to focus as renjun’s already trying his best to calm yanna down. and fast enough to hide his proud smile for the girl as her boyfriend lifts her up to tease her for doing a great job.

↣ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰

↣ 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘹 𝘫𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯

↣ 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

yanna couldn’t stop tapping her toes against the floor. jaemin glanced at her and laughed slightly.

“i’ll get even more nervous if you keep doing that.” he told her. she tried to stop for a few seconds but began doing it again.

“are you more nervous than me?” he asked her, she looked at him immediately and shook her head.

“i’m not nervous, i need to pee.” she replied. jaemin could only shake his head in disappointment before glaring at the girl.

“why would i be nervous? i’m sure you’ll kill it, you’ve practiced hard!” she reasoned out. jaemin smiled at yanna’s confidence and belief in him. the girl also gave her a smile and a thumbs up.

during jaemin’s rest, the company contacted him to check if he will already be able to join them on their next comeback. it was a simple performance that will be judged by chosen staffs. jaemin personally told yanna to accompany him and the girl didn’t even have to think twice and agreed immediately.

as soon as the staff called him inside, yanna pushed him towards the door and sat on the floor at the side. jaemin glanced at her as she told him to smile and he did as he looked at the staff.

jaemin’s performance was going great until he felt his back ache and he had to stop. yanna immediately stood up but couldn’t go near him until she was sure jaemin wouldn’t continue with the dance anymore. she didn’t want to ruin the performance.

“i think that says a lot, jaemin-ssi? you should get some more rest, we wouldn’t want things like these to happen on stage. should we call you parents or-“

“no, it’s fine. i’ll see myself out and go home.” he immediately said. he slowly walked over to his bag, bowed a bit and walked out of the room.

“you shouldn’t have encouraged him, you know he might strain his back.” one of the staffs told yanna who could only stare at the door. she suddenly thought that maybe it was her fault for giving jaemin high hopes about coming back but she didn’t mean to, she just wanted him not to beat himself up for not being able to promote with them.

“don’t blame the kid, we called him because we wanted to check on him.” the other staff said, they were still arguing when yanna bowed at them and left the room.

as soon as she left the room, her eyes roamed around looking for jaemin. she was about to run all over the building to look for him when a sweaty figure hugged her.

yanna could normally only reach jaemin’s shoulder but from how tight the boy was clutching her, his head was oddly on the side of her neck. crying.

yanna felt her heart tighten, it was almost painful. jaemin’s quiet sniffling were painful to hear for her, how could someone like him who always makes her happy be crying like this?

“it’s okay, you did your best.” she said, comfortingly. jaemin could only let out a sob as she patted his back.

she felt his tears slow down as she tightened their hug and started caressing his hair.

“i’m so proud of you, you did well. you did really well.” she repeatedly told him until he calmed down.

“i didn’t do it, i won’t be able to come back with you guys.” he muttered.

“it’s okay, there’ll be more comebacks. what matters is you did your best and you will continue to do your best in recovering, okay?” she whispered.

jaemin smiled with unshed tears as he hugged her again. this time, more happy than sad. because, yes, jaemin will do his best but maybe yanna will always be the best for him.

“well, i really am sorry.” yanna quietly said before grabbing a glass of water and walking away to go to back to her room.

“why do you keep bringing it up?” jaemin asked. the girl froze and turned around.

“because you keep avoiding it. i don’t understand why you say you’re not even a little bit mad at me but you choose not to talk to me when nobody’s around.” she said, now heated due to the frustration she felt about how jaemin was acting.

“get mad at me, jaemin. yell at me, tell me how i lead you on! tell me how you thought it was gonna be us in the end, tell me how much i hurt you! just let it out!” she said, now near jaemin who could only hold in his breath.

“i can’t.” he firmly said, making yanna’s eyes soften.

jaemin: who?

yanna: i’m literally 20-years old!

yanna stuffed her face with ice cream, happily smiling as jaemin watched her. it was one of those days where it’s best to keep distance from her unless you have food or something warm for her cramps.

as yanna licked the spoon, some ice cream got on her nose and jaemin could only snort.

“stop staring, i know i’m pretty.” she jokingly said, unaware of the brown thing on her nose.

jaemin grabbed a wet tissue and held yanna’s neck to steady her. she widened her eyes at the position and felt herself blush before jaemin wiped the tip of her nose. yanna’s mouth opened at her realization and laughed sheepishly but stared once more at jaemin who was still holding her neck.

“what?” she asked.

“god, you’re so beautiful.” jaemin said. yanna rolled her eyes, thinking he was being sarcastic.

“i get it, i’m a messy ice cream eater.” she said before turning to her tub of ice cream once again.

“don’t need to be sarcastic about it.” she said, putting a bit of ice cream on the boy’s nose before faking her shock.