#yagirlclutchie

I’m answering these publicly so that I can reply and still keep the kind words to look at when I need them. (*if you want to send me something but feel weird about it being published, feel free to message me or just let me know in your ask)

Thanks very much for your support! I am relatively new to this job you are right, and working on short contracts is pretty stressful too! It has been a struggle to maintain my mental health over the transition and working full time drains my energy like nobody’s business. Plus, unfortunately for me, uncertainty is kinda part of the job description - partly because it’s case by case, and partly because most local governments in this world are under resourced so policy reform etc is slow and human turnover is high which adds to the mess. 

Fortunately the team I work with is great and we’re all muddling through it together as best we can, but who knows, maybe a different place will be better suited to me. Or maybe a different working arrangement, like 4 days a week or something, if I can sustain myself on it, so that I don’t get burnt out. I’m sure there are options out there, it’s just hard to contemplate when I seem to find myself having these breakdowns every now and then no matter what I do. I naturally push myself, and anxiety dials that up to ridiculous levels. I’m getting better at managing it but I think it’s time to turn back to professional help. Burnout and breakdowns shouldn’t be this inevitable.

Or I could just join the state government, stop dealing with The Public™ and see how that goes… and then get assassinated by local govt planners amirite colleagues