#xysa rambles

recently I broke my nose. it was a bad break, and it needed re-breaking and manipulating back into place. so far, so par for the course with a broken nose, as far as I know?

except this procedure went wrong not once, but twice.

the problem at the moment, with the NHS, is manyfold. (yes hi, I live in the UK, for my sins.) the NHS is dealing with covid-19 alongside an enormous backlog of operations and treatments that it already had, because it is an incredible asset to the UK, but it is massively underfunded and understaffed. so I have already been told that even though the NHS’s procedure did not fix the problem, or even start to remedy it... I have very little chance of having the corrective surgery done via the NHS.

I haven’t had a full, uninterrupted night’s sleep in seven weeks, because I struggle to breathe through my nose and wake up throughout the night feeling like I’m choking or drowning. and yes, it has had a big effect on my already small self-confidence. I felt like I was pretty before this happened. not groundbreaking, but y’know, i didn’t give anyone eye ulcers.

at this point, we are looking at travelling to Europe in the hopes of finding somewhere capable of doing the procedure. and ofc this costs a LOT. I work in a shop part time and my wage is not incredible. my parents are trying their best to help.