#xx.cade

It’s cold enough that Cade has to pull out his jacket from the backseat of his car when he leaves the warmth of his heated car. Exhaustion is clearly written across his face; the bloodshot eyes, the bags darkening underneath, the quiet yawns that slip past his lips, and the sag in his shoulders. It’s nearly noon and Cade hasn’t had any sleep in over 24 hours, pushing it considering all-nighters were never part of Cade’s routine since high school ended so many years ago.

The moment the chaos of the game came to a close, Cade had rushed to his car to beat the traffic leaving the campus. There was no celebrating the win, no getting caught in conversation or a moment to talk to his sister, and no congratulating one person in particular. Cade couldn’t let himself get caught behind—not with a 13-hour drive ahead of him. The entire drive had been soft music playing, gas station food with the largest cup of soda he could find, and the glow of interstate lights.

When he’d entered Brookline, Cade felt that small tug at his heart that was always there for a catch when he came home. Despite everything that happened before college, this was his home and he missed it. But instead of going to his actual home, Cade made one pit-stop before he moved on to his destination.

coolcatcade someone come share my popcorn with me 

The bell rang, the chorus of students cheering erupted and conversations loudly pouring out of classrooms and into the hallways. It was Friday, thank god. The week had been an endless drone of lectures and homework; an endless Monday that drove Cade crazy by the time the end of school finally arrived. He left his Classic Literature class with his textbooks tucked into his side, sunglasses already out and over his eyes. Familiar with the chaos of the hallways, Cade expertly navigated the crowds to get to his locker. He spun the combination and shoved his books of the shelf before he pulled out his backpack. Sadly, his skateboard was left at home but it meant he had the car and Cade would happily take that alternative.

The sun filters in through the spaces between the white wooden slants of wood, warming up the bedroom with the soft morning light. Outside the window, resting precariously on the sill, is a birds nest left empty from the summer but somewhere outside there are birds chirping excitedly with the rising sun. These are the best mornings, when Cade doesn’t have to wake up too early and he can just let the world wake him up. No dumb alarm blaring at him either.

He’s slow to rise, sleepy eyes blinking at his surroundings that are fuzzy until he finds his glasses and slides them onto his face. With stumbled footsteps, he finds his way to the bathroom that’s been deemed his bathroom and he lazily goes through his morning routine. His contacts are new, it takes him a little too many attempts to get them into his eyes but soon enough he ditches his glasses and checks his freshly cleaned teeth in the mirror. 

The house is silent except for the humming coming from young Cade. He’s so used to his Saturday mornings that he could do it in his sleep. At the front door, he shoves his feet into his dad’s shoes which are the closest and grabs his soon-to-be-too-small jacket. For some reason he hadn’t stopped growing and was going through clothes faster than they could buy them. Outside, Cade shuffles his way with a waddle thanks to the slightly oversized shoes to get to the mailbox. He’s got the letters and ads in one hand and the newspaper trailing on the ground behind him, hand holding onto the thin plastic as he made his way back to the house.

Inside, Cade takes off the shoes and his jacket before he puts all the mail and the paper on the coffee table for later. He rushes toward the kitchen and to the coffee pot, fiddling around with it and mumbling to himself to make sure he gets the measurements correct for his dad’s coffee. As soon as he hears the sound of it kicking on, Cade rushes for the stairs.

He’s still humming a happy tune with the patter of his bare feet on the hard wood floors echoing along with him. The master bedroom door looms at the end of the hall, a dark hardwood that normally would have kept Cade away but he’d learned what happened if he didn’t burst through the door. Not surprising to him, the room is shrouded in darkness when he opens the door. “Dad?” He hesitates for only a moment before he runs over to the large windows and throws open the curtains, showering the room in sunlight.

Silence. “Dad, wake up!” Cade called out, moving to round the bed and climb his way up. “Dad, can we go to Emily’s for breakfast?” Cade asked as he sat beside the giant lump in the bed. Nothing. “Dad, please?” He tried one more time. Silence.

“That’s okay, you rest. You’re tired.” Cade pat his hand on the lump he figured was his dad’s shoulder and climbed back off the bed. He looked over his shoulder just once before he headed back down the stairs. With the coffee down, Cade grabbed his dad’s favorite coffee cup and filled it up. Milk. Three scoops of sugar. One dash of cinnamon. It took some searching to find the breakfast tray but when he did find it, Cade set the coffee cup on it and rush around to get the rest of breakfast. Two pieces of toast. Yogurt with granola and berries. He made sure to add the newspaper and then carefully carried the tray up the stairs.

He used his shoulder to knock the door to the bedroom open, watching the coffee as he walked over to the bed and set it down on the comforter. When he pulled himself up, he was careful to grab the coffee cup and then sit it back down on the tray when he was settled beside his dad again. “Dad, I’ve got breakfast. You gotta wake up.”

Cade nudged at the lump in bed. It took a few more nudges and some begging before John finally rolled over. It’d been a couple months since he’d officially became divorced and while it had been bad before, this was a new level. Cade, only fourteen, was struggling to make sure his dad was okay.

“Come on, it’s good. When you finish we can go watch tv downstairs,” Cade said as he grabbed the tray and set it down on his dad’s lap who’d pushed himself in a sitting position. He stole the comics from the newspaper in the meantime, sitting there entirely engrossed in them.

It took more time than it should have before John started to eat and even then he was slow. But he was staring at his son, the one person who would always be there for him. John couldn’t help but feel guilty. He was supposed to be taking care of his son and he couldn’t even find the urge to get out of bed most days. Reaching out, John ruffled up Cade’s hair and gave him to a fragile smile when Cade looked back at him. “You and me, kid. Always. I’ll do better, I promise.”

School is done for the day and while most of the kids board on the buses or pile themselves into cars, Cade makes straight for the exit on his skateboard. An ongoing tradition, he stops at the nearby gas station and says hello to Phillip and Lindsey, two clerks he’s become familiar with over the past year.  Like every time, Cade buys a giant fountain drink and a roll of Rolo chocolates. While he might have gotten his license just a few months back and he could have very easily borrowed his dad’s car this morning, that would have meant getting home right away. This time after school on the way home is sacred to Cade.

It’s the rush of the air, headphones in and music blaring as he coasts down the back streets to get home. Not the safest but that’s just become part of the excitement. At sixteen, Cade Mitchell is tall and lean. He usually adorns a smile that’s a mix of genuine sincerity and coy as if he knows something the rest of the world does not. Always more prominent when he’s in the back of the classroom, leaning back in his chair, and playfully yet politely cracking jokes in class. Cade’s always laughing and good-natured, hardly ever with ruffled features, and easy to get along with. Despite that, Cade is alone.

With no close friends at school, Cade spends a lot of time orbiting around everyone and everything. He’s content, doesn’t complain. Cade gets his social interaction from theatre, his dad, and Casey when they’re around. Sure, it feels like he’s missing something and sometimes the loneliness trips him up but Cade’s learn well enough by now that he’s okay. He’s always okay.

With a practiced lean, Cade coasts around the corner into the neighborhood, passing most of the houses without even a glance. He rolls up the length of the driveway to the side door before kicking up his board and into the mudroom of the house. Cade kicks off his shoes and shoves them into one of the cubbies, board going against the wall, and leather jacket along the bench seat. Somewhere in the house, Cade hears a commotion that sounds oddly similar to a crash. Curiosity getting the best of him, Cade goes to look for the source. “Dad? Please tell me you’re not knocking down walls again.” That’s how the mudroom came to be thanks to a HGTV obsession.

“What? No. Come up to the guest room,” John calls from the second floor. Thankfully Cade didn’t need to ask which guest bedroom considering the boxes in the hallway that blocked his bedroom door and the room across from him. Shifting through the boxes, Cade finds a spot to stand and leans up against the door frame. “Are you looking for something?” Cade asks as he stares at his dad standing in the middle of the somewhat empty room.

“Do girls like white furniture or dark wood?” John asks as he shifts a box down from a stack only to set it down off to the side. “White. Is there a particular reason you’re asking?” The pleading tone for an explanation catches his dad’s attention finally and he nods his head. “Right, yes, I’m sorry. I’m a little frazzled. Let’s get out of this mess and go to the kitchen.” John comes toward the door and waves Cade on as well.

They both make it to the kitchen and while Cade grabs a diet Dr. Pepper from the fridge, John goes for a small glass of red wine instead. He leans against the counter of the breakfast bar, Cade sitting on one of the stools in front of his dad with a questioning expression. “Do you remember a couple weeks ago when we were talking about Lisa?” John starts, taking a quick sip from his glass.

“Yeah, that night we went out to dinner. Did you change your mind?” Cade’s confusion is clear. As far as he knows, his dad is head over heels for the woman. “No, god no. I know some people might raise some... disagreements to the idea that I’m proposing so soon but I love her more every day and I can’t imagine not spending my life with her. I’m still figuring out how to ask her... I think she’ll say yes but, well it wouldn’t be good if she said no... we’ve occasionally discussed it but--”

“Dad, she’ll say yes whenever you do it,” Cade says confidently. While he hasn’t spent too much time with Lisa alone, he’s seen them together enough to know how much they love each other. “Right, yes. Anyway, my point in bringing this up is that while I asked if you would be opposed to Lisa being your step-mom, I realized the other day that I never brought up something very important and that’s Alanna, her daughter. You two haven’t met yet and I regret that but I don’t want to rush anything if Lisa or Alanna isn’t ready, but having a step-sister would be such a big change and it’s been the two of us for so--”

“I get a sister,” Cade says slowly, interrupting his dad once again. Sure, he knew about Alanna. She’d been mentioned a few times in the past six months or so. Stupidly, it never occurred to him during their last conversation that by his dad marrying Lisa, he’ll end up with a sister. “Look, I know it’s a big change, but you’re the best son I could have ever asked for and I know you’d be an amazing influence on her and help to make her comfortable. I just want.. you to be okay with it.”

Cade laughs hard enough to nearly send him falling off the stool. “Are you kidding, that’s fucking awesome! You know I’ve always wanted siblings and having Alanna around would be cool. Do you think she’ll like movies? Please tell me she likes being outside cause when we have the summer bonfires, she has to be out there roasting smores with us. She’s a freshmen too, right? I can see about introducing her to some people at school, good kids to make sure she doesn’t make friends with the wrong person. Mrs. Luinsky down the street will probably adore her, maybe she’ll give us those killer cookies and banana bread if she likes Alanna--”

“Cade, slow down and please remember to watch your language,” John interrupts this time with a laugh. “So you’re not going to have any problem if Alanna becomes your sister? If her and Lisa start living with us in the future.”

“The house is quiet and I love you dad, but our family is small and there’s always been something just... missing. Lisa and Alanna might be exactly what we need. Like I said, I’ve always wanted to be a big brother.” Cade’s calmer now but there’s still a visible excitement. “Am I at least gonna get to meet her soon enough?” It would make sense for them to meet sooner rather than later. “I’m talk to Lisa about it tonight. Think you can get an extra ticket to the play? Alanna might want to come with us to see you perform if you don’t annoy her out of this world.”

🕑 for something your character regrets

Cade regrets joining his high school cheer team. He’d never admit it to Alanna, refusing to allow her to feel in any way that his experiences were because she’d convinced him to join. But the reality is that if he’d never joined the Warriors cheer squad, he would have never met Ava. Everything that happened, graduation night, the guilt.. all of it would have never existed and Cade would be a much different person today.

❓ for a random headcanon

Cade wears three necklaces every day without fail. One is a very thin gold chain with a tiny golden dolphin hanging from the center. He’s had it since he was twelve, given to him by his father--a token of his mother. John never expected Cade to wear it for very long but Cade still wears it to this day. Part of it is out of habit but a larger part of it is out of obligation. He feels like he owes it to his mother that he never got the chance to properly know.

🏫 for a school headcanon

CLAUDIA JEWELL: Do you know who you are?

“Do any of us know who we are? I don’t know -- Maybe if you’d asked me when I was younger I would have told you yes. So no, I don’t.” Cade hopes more than anything that he’s not the person he is today or has been the past few years. He wants to be the person he used to be before everything went south.

CASEY HENDRIX: What have you had to sacrifice to get to where you are today?

Cade wouldn’t meet your eyes; would laugh and simply say, “nah.”

📖 + Cade

Cade does not like himself. He’s weak, pathetic, and gullible. At least -- that’s what he believes himself to be when he thinks about himself. Once upon a time he would have thought himself to be sure of himself, strong, and confident. When Cade thinks back to the things he’s done, the things he’s said, he feels sick to his stomach and regrets every part of it. Some nights he wishes desperately that it never happened, that he never lived that life.

😔 for a sad memory

He didn’t leave his room for days afterward. Only late into the middle of the night when he was sure everyone else was asleep. Cade would lay there in bed, sleeping and sleeping and any time he woke up and remembered everything, he’d only find himself starting to cry. By the end of the week, most of everyone had stopped trying. Except on that Saturday morning, Cade’s phone rang for the first time in a long time. It was pure curiosity that made him pick it up, wondering who cared enough. AVA. It took him very little time to rush to the bathroom to throw up.

❓ for a random headcanon

coolcatcade adventure is waiting just around the corner.