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2004: Amanda returns and apologises to Manuel for abandoning him; she also replaces the iPod she broke during her breakdown. Kitty visits Illyana in medlab and Illyana tells her the truth of what happened in Limbo. Betsy discovers the old link with Jean in Scott's mind is still active. Nathan decides to ask Domino to kidnap Amanda and give her a break. Betsy tells Madelyn about Nathaniel Essexand the link with Alison. Lorna and Alex return from LA.
2005: Jean and Wanda have a Danger Room session and discover Wanda's powers operate on the instinctive level. Clarice visits Tommy and brings him a stuffed rhino. Amanda and Angelo catch up after his trip to Kashmir. Hellfire and Damnation: Remy returns to the mansion after encountering Pete Wisdom in Hong Kong and tells Charles he's resigning from the intel team; Amanda comes to visit and when he tells her she's leaving, she tries to hold onto him the only way she has left; Manuel feels everything through the link and reacts badly.
2006: Laurie emails her suite mates about not using the air filter in the suite to try and control her powers better. Jennie has concerns in light of the Bleeding incident. The Gates: Medusa and Nathan discuss Prague and Medusa offers what information Attilan can from refugees. In return, Nathan offers her volunteer work with Elpis.
2007: Scott announces Crystal's imminent return as a staff member. Fred Duncan, Nathan and the Georgian DA come to an agreement as to Kevin's fate, despite opposition from the DA; Kevin reluctantly agrees to the terms - to remain at Xavier's and to warn people about his mutation; Nathan lets the staff know what the situation is. Yvette asks Clarice for makeup advice. Carmen Animi Vermium: Monet's health takes a turn for the worse and Laurie takes her to see Jean; Jean diagnoses some kind of neurological issue, and arranges for further tests in the city.
2008: Mark and Jubilee go on an investigation run and have a narrow escape. Marie and Amanda share beer and pizza and avoid discussing various things. Scott asks Bishop to look into Tabitha's disappearance.
2009: Cammie emails Kyle with a 'yo momma' joke and informs him that she's winning their prospective sparring match.
2010: Angelo remembers to let people know he got into law school. Vanessa announces she is going to investigate Nick's old school and asks Jean-Paul to go talk to his extended family; Jean-Paul lets Kevin know he'll be gone for a few days.
2011: Laurie posts about how little time she has even after quitting her job with X-Factor. Layla finds Boiler Beach and Adrienne, and odd conversation ensues. Layla finds Kurt in the gym and extorts more awesomeness from her favorite teacher. Layla makes a journal entry saying Kurt is her favorite, and warns about possibly burning some cookies.
2012: Jubliee posts music to crotchet to and another link about her next crochet project.
2013: Yvette makes a journal entry with her thoughts about the YouTube video incident and how some people are discussing a potential coffee shop protest. Rachel finally moves into her new suite and meets her roommate - Callie.
2014: Adrienne texts Tandy to let her know that the cleaners have reported in and the house is ready for her. Tandy then goes on to text Molly, Sue and Topaz to invite them to a girls weekend at Adrienneās house. Namor and Clint meet up to go for a run and snark at one another. The girls spend the weekend at Adrienne's place to distract Sue from Maddie's departure, and Molly takes it upon herself to teach Topaz about s'mores.
PHASE 2
2015: Sooraya talks with Angelo about a new thing she wants to explore. The local news reports about lots of winter coats being donated. Dial My Number: Clint emails Doug about getting things about Darcy erased from the web.
Tagging: Jean-Paul Beaubier, Jeanne-Marie Beaubier & Prof. Jean Grey
Location: The Xavier Institute counselorās office; Bedford Hills, NY
Time Frame: Afternoon, August 4, 2015
General Notes:
Paul tried to avoid the more populated parts of the school as he made his way hand in hand with Jeanne-Marie. The girl was a little shaken still and he was careful to keep her close as they headed to the slightly familiar office of Professor Grey. āY-youāre sure about her?ā she asked in a hushed tone. āI promise, Jeanne. Professor Grey wonāt hurt you. Sheās very good at helping.ā Paul reassured again, brushing his thumb against her hand. She nodded, looking off down the hall with slight curiosity before they reached the door to the office. Paul knocked twice and then stood by, still a little unsure of how formalities worked when people could read minds and sense presences.
Between preparations for the new school year approaching, her best friendās wedding just days away, and a tough one-on-one session with another student the previous day, Jean had plenty weighing on her mind. To sort out her own thoughts from others, she often took to writing things down and was in the middle of doing this when she sensed someone fearfully nearing her office. Glancing up just seconds before the knocks, Jean stopped mid-script, closed her notebook and pulled her eyeglasses off of her face. After a slight narrowing of her eyes, the office door handle lowered and the mahogany door slowly swung open. Shortly before being shown who was there, she had said, āCome in, Paul.ā Without delving beyond the initial, thin aura that told her who one of her visitors was, she couldnāt, however, identify the young woman with him. She knew all of the students currently on campus but this woman was unfamiliar by both face and name. Tilting her head with her wonder, Jean asked, āWhoās this?ā
Paul squeezed Jeanne-Marieās hand before they entered. āHello, Professor,ā he said, mustering up a small smile. āThis is actually my sister, Jeanne-Marie,ā he added. She kept her head down, averting her eyes from the other. Paul stepped forward to sit, letting her hand go in case she didnāt want to join him yet. āSheās been living in New York. Itās⦠a long story,ā he explained, biting his lip. āI want to get better,ā Marie finally piped up, her voice cracking a little as she stayed in her spot close to the door.
Jean had been a bit surprised to learn that Paul had a sister, let alone one who appeared to be around the same age as him. The more that was spoken between the two, the more unsure the woman became of what to make of the visit, causing her to still for a moment. It would have been easy to uncover the answers for herself but as neither of them presented much if any of a threat to herself or the school, she stayed from exercising her telepathy. Her eyes went to the young woman when she spoke, but Jean soon slid her gaze back to Paul to say, āIt might help to share at least some of this long story if thereās something wrong that you both think I might be able to help you with.ā Her hand extended toward Jeanne-Marie and then dropped slightly to the two chairs in front of her desk, inviting the both of them to come in and have a seat.
Jeanne-Marie moved closer, putting her hand on the back of the chair, but not sitting. Sheād encountered people who had mutation related to the mind before, and they always freaked her out. It made her feel exposed, like they may be able to understand her mind better than she did herself. āI was living in New York, alone. I ran away from home 4 years ago, to find people like me. But the person I followed was a liar.ā she said, looking down and scowling slightly. Paul stayed quiet, not knowing most of the story himself. āI have dissociative identity disorder. Away from home I couldnāt get the medication I needed. I want to start taking medication again. And to be somewhere far away from the person I came here with.ā
Jean exchanged glances with Jeanne-Marie and Paul while she explained her arrival in the area, as well as the revelation of her disorder. Her powers allowed her to sense the general aura of the two--vastly different yet still connected from their relationship as siblings. At the same time, she had done some shallow prying, primarily to survey the validity of what she was being told but also out of protection of the school and the students in it. Deciding to address her statements in reverse, Jean said, āWell...we have medical doctors here, and Iām not sure if Paul told you, but Iām a psychologist as well as a professor here. If youāve previously been diagnosed then getting you a new prescription shouldnāt take long. It would mostly be up to Professor Worthington or Dr. Reyes. Otherwise, it would be a matter of an evaluation from me before medication could simply be issued to you here.ā Her hands folded, fingers weaving between one another while she spoke on, āAs for having somewhere to stay that is safe from the person you followed here...again, I donāt know how much Paul has told you, but our school here is extraordinary from other schools. We provide the best safety that weāre capable of for everyone welcomed here. Itās a place for mutants, like your brother, like myself and like you.ā She sat up a little bit straighter while ebbing the edges of Jeanne-Marie, further deducing that while she was quite scared and apprehensive of the professor, the young woman posed no immediate threat to the school. It wasnāt new to Jean, having students be wary of her for being a telepath; the response used to upset and discourage her but she had, for the most part, moved on from the visceral reactions others gave her. āIf you would like to stay here, Iām sure arrangements can be made. Of course we have policies here that we expect all students to abide by, but for the time being, you seem overwhelmed...possibly in need of some rest?ā Her eyes then went to the young man, āPaul, would you like to show her up to MacTaggert? The doors to vacant rooms should be open.ā She then looked back to Jeanne-Marie, āIāll need to speak with Professor X about more long term arrangements. Heās the headmaster and well, this is his home first and foremost but if, for now, you would like to rest, youāre welcome to one of the open dorms. I can come find you and Paul afterward.ā
Paul nodded at the professorās suggestion. āOf course. I can call my parents, just to let them know everything is okay. They would uh.. have information about the doctors too I can have them like⦠fax it to you,ā he said, biting his lip a little nervously. Jeanne-Marie still stood behind the chair, her fingers rubbing a little in anticipation. Paul looked up, giving her a gentle reassuring smile. āI think Iāve heard your name before. I may be wrong. Itās hard to keep track of everything,ā she said, leaning forward a little but keeping the chair between them. āBut Paul was right, you seem quite helpful.ā she shrugged. āThank you, Professor,ā Paul said, standing up.
Jean nodded to Paul and politely took in Jeanne-Marieās gratitude. āYouāre welcome. If you two excuse me, I have some information I need to gather on a separate matter before I go see the Professor, but it was nice to meet you, Jeanne-Marie.ā Taking into consideration, the unease of the teen, Jean hadnāt insisted on or initiated a handshake, but instead politely nodded to the young woman. āIāll speak to you two soon then.ā With that, she willed the office door open for the two and closed it completely once they were out. After flipping to a blank page in her notebook, she started to jot down simple notes on what she had to discuss with the professor but instead exercised her telepathy to request a meeting with the headmaster. āIām in my office if you would like to come by,ā heād told her. Jean collected her notebook and office keys and followed through, leaving the room to make future arrangements for the schoolās latest newcomer.
Tagging: Ororo Munroe & Logan Howlett with mention of others
Location: The Bedford Post Inn; Bedford, NY
Time Frame: Evening, Fri. Aug. 7, 2015
General Notes: Highlights of the wedding and reception.
The morning and early afternoon had been spent preparing the inn for the grand nuptials. News of the marrying X-Men hadnāt reached the media, so it seemed that, despite the large guest number, several of whom would be of famous faces that would be in attendance, the celebration would remain relatively private. Hired hands teamed with the Innās staff to ready the ceremony and reception locations complete with dance floor per both the bride and groomās insistence. A variety of fresh flowers were delivered including bouquets and boutonnieres for the bridal party, and the cake arrived shortly thereafter. Lights and speakers went up high above the transforming rustic spectacle. Cloth and cutlery were neatly placed over the round and square reception tables, and a simple table was designated for a guest book, cards and gifts.
The two halves of the bridal party were each given a room at the Inn to ready themselves in while a pair of hired photographers snapped photos of the process. As it got closer to five oāclock, the matron of honor and best man performed their traditional duties of exchanging the bride and groomās gifts, giving Logan an opportunity to switch out his original cufflinks for the gold, horse links his future wife chose and purchased for him. Knowing her simple yet particular taste in jewelry, he had gifted her with a solid gold choker necklace. By the time the bridal party finished getting themselves ready, the outdoor rustic wedding vibe and aesthetic had come together and guests were beginning to trickle through.
Among the hundred-plus guests, several heroes and heroic affiliates were already known well enough by both of their names for them not to feel the need to come in their uniform. The newly deemed Ms. Marvel, or Carol Danvers wore an identical bridesmaid dress to Jean and Tessa with her hair gathered up in a lace braid bun. Long since waking from his decades-long coma, Captain America, or Steve Rogers had been returned his formal dress from the army and decided to wear it for the occasion. Tony, who had been open about his status within months of first donning the Iron Man suit, dressed to the nines in designer labels from his sunglasses to his wingtips, with discrete Stark tech integrated on his person. The rarely seen SHIELD director, Nick Fury, honored his promise to attend but hadnāt particularly stood out from his usual black monochrome attire. And retired hero Hank Pym sported a simple grey three-piece suit. Those who were not as well known by both identities or lines of work, however, continued to protect their privacy by either blending in with other suit and gown-donning guests like covert SHIELD agents Phil Coulson and Maria Hill, or their heroic uniform like Spiderman. The exceptions to all of this had been the aquatic prince, Namor, who was surprisingly more clothed than usual, in regal black and gold Atlantic attire and the god-like extraterrestrial, Thor, who was both known and had also chosen to don traditional garb from his home as well.
As the final few guests took their seat, instrumental music came softly through the speakers around the the venue. Ororoās old mentor during her extended stay in Kenya, Priestess Ainet, walked up the wide aisle runner and removed the guard that kept others from stepping on it prior to now. Her presence cued the official start of the ceremony as one of the schoolās alumni and Paigeās older brother, Sam, operated the sound and music for the evening. His job had been made simple by Tessa who had programed the slew of instrumental music, including the guitar and piano melody to Christina Perriās song, āPenguinā.
Guests brought their murmurs to a collective silence as Logan took his position at the altar and patiently waited beside Ainet. Just behind and to the priestessās right, Joanna and Jubilee were wielding microphones and began to sing along to the song. Gazes amongst the seated were split between the talented teens and the gradual approaching bridal party. Carol and Scott were the first to walk out from the inn, up the runner and part ways at the altar. Tessa and Warren followed, and the matron of honor, Jean, and the best man, Kevin, brought up the rear on the bridal partyās introductions. As they all took their respective places, Logan periodically switched back and forth, cuffing one hand over the other until he saw his bride emerge from the Inn. His eyes drank up her stunning appearance, making his mind go drunk in pure ecstasy. He always thought she looked beautiful and that she was the goddess and queen she was rightfully praised for being, but this day--this very special day and the very unique preparations that went into all he was seeing now took his breath away.
Ororo walked carefully, taking her time as her elderly paternal grandparents stood at each side, escorting her to her beloved groom. Her eyes were aware of everyone rising to their feet when the trio reached the runner and started down the aisle, but she kept her gaze fixed on her soon-to-be-husband right through the entirety of the walk. Her grandparents took a seat in the front crescent-shaped row beside Professor Xavier and held each otherās hands as they watched Ainet bless their granddaughter and their new grandson-in-law. When it came time for the rings, Jean dutifully accepted Ororoās bouquet as she and Kevin handed the platinum tokens over. The couple exchanged their vows, each of them keeping their voices low but clear when they spoke their promises to one another. Cameras were going off from both the hired professionals as well as the numerous cell phone cameras, right up through the presentation of the newlyweds and Ainet permitting the two to kiss.
Logan gave an assertive tug at Ororoās waist, grinning right up until their lips met. His body couldnāt burn the natural high out of him now. At the same time that Logan bent his head to kiss her, Ororo encircled her arms around his neck and threw her chin up to start the kiss, catching him by surprise. Applause, cheers and whoops erupted from literally all around them as Logan pressed himself flush to his wife and Ororoās back bowed from being driven into a dip. When they pulled apart, both of the newlyweds were grinning from ear to ear. Ororo retrieved her bouquet from her teary-eyed best friend while Logan received some congratulatory pats on the back from Kevin before the two started up the aisle. They, along with the bridal party had been occupied by the photographers for some time after, but both seemed anxious to get to the reception.
The sun continued to slowly set over the beautiful, green, Bedford Post Inn lawn casting a warm orange hue above the bulbs illuminating in the reception spaceās surrounding trees. Jean made haste to bustle the brideās train after the formal photos were finished while guests mingled. Some of the heroes had been nervously approached for photos and autographs while others basked in the pleasantry of a hassle-free yet positively eventful evening. Guests gathered about at the tables again long enough for toasts and speeches from the bridal party, one of which included a not-so-allusive hinting at Loganās drunkenness the previous night thanks to Kevin. Warren, Tessa and Jean tied for the most heartfelt speeches while Scott and Carol held touching moments of their own as well as words of endearment for the newly wedded couple. Following the sentiments, the caterers were prompt in providing hot, delicious Mediterranean cuisine--the brideās favorite--complete with falafels and pita breads to accompany a variety of grilled meats and vegetables.
The night went on as a full celebration as a number of people gradually moved from dining at the tables to filling the dance floor. Logan and Ororo started things off sweetly with sways and minimal twirls to Stevie Wonderās āRibbon in the Skyā as their first dance. From there, the music through the night ranged from sweet, intimate ballads to upbeat numbers you couldnāt help but move to, solo or with others. During a Sammy Davis Jr. number, Tessa and Captain Rogers surprised everyone, partnering up on the spot to show off some East Coast Swing steps. The bride and groom were passed around amongst their friends, family and a few courageous students and alumni during a money dance. The only break in all of the dancing had been for the cutting of the three-tiered cake, donning their newly shared monogram on its top tier, but soon, almost everyone had been back to dancing. A hole on the floor was made as Ororo tossed a bouquet into the singles crowd; Tony, Spiderman, Thor and Kevin spearheaded wolf whistles and catcalls when Logan knelt down, smirked up at his wife and half of his body disappeared under the flare of Ororoās gown to retrieve her garter. When he fully reappeared again, the piece of lace and silk was between his teeth and cheers erupted from numerous friends. His best man caught it and sported the garment as a headband for the remainder of the night.
The night seemed to carry on blissfully for the couple. Often times, with the utmost discretion, Logan would lean in and whisper in his wifeās ear to check on her but each time, she promised him she was alright. The urge to stay close to her throughout the night was there but he knew he didnāt need to babysit her; it was part of the many reasons he loved her and why he wanted this day to happen--she was strong, honest and a force to reckon with if the wrong buttons were pushed. Thinking on that brought a smile to his face numerous times throughout the night. He knew that they would be staying, either until most of their guests had gone, or until she was ready to leave. Whichever came first, he was prepared with the rental of an old town car to take them into the city for the night. Tomorrow, they would be off to the airport, taking a much needed, much desired week-long absence from the school for their honeymoon. Until then, he and Ororo took in as much of the night as they possibly could, surrounded by those who meant the most to them.
After being woken up, Cole stood at his dorm room door, glaring one way down the hall and then the other,Ā āWhoever's been running up and down butchering that Bruno Mars marry you song?Ā Shut.up."
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Tagging: Joanna Cargill & Prof. Ororo Munroe
Location: The Xavier Institute counselorās office; Bedford Hills, NY
Time Frame: Afternoon, Thurs. Aug. 6, 2015
General Notes: Death [mention] tw
With a little less than a month before the start of classes, Joannaās thoughts were firmly focused on her first semester of college. Although sheād still be living at the Institute, she was excited about the prospect of something new and challenging. Finalizing her schedule, buying books and even spoiling herself with a new wardrobe for the few times sheād be required to show up on campus had been instrumental in keeping her distracted. The mentions of him had died down enough for her to finally be able to breathe and the sympathetic glances had dwindled to the point where people were treating her like Jo and not the girl whose heart had been broken. Joanna was finally stepping out of her pity cocoon, determined to move on with her life even if she didnāt exactly know how. For that reason, she found herself wandering the hall of the professorsā wing, searching until she found the familiar mahogany door sheād knocked on so many times before. With a steadying breath, she knocked on the open door before stepping inside. Her mentorās head was slightly bowed over the desk and by the time it was lifted, Joanna was already sitting down in the armchair on the opposite side. Unsure of what to say after days of avoidance, she offered a simple, āHey,ā hoping it would suffice.
The unusual fatigue had Ororo taking naps throughout the day and while the bright side to it meant being well rested for the wedding, today, she was thankful that she hadnāt slept for more than an hour in the middle of the day. After making her way down from Pembroke to hers and Jeanās office, she started up her computer and began some early work on some lesson plans for her language classes. Everything that she could do prior to the wedding had been done and the back-to-school buzz was beginning to blend in with students expressing excitement for hers and Loganās approaching nuptials. Now seated at her desk with her lesson planner before her and short stacks of French and Spanish books on either side, she wrote away, occasionally standing and stretching to try and keep from becoming drowsy all over again. The knock on the door was welcomed as she sat back down and once her pen was in her hand again, she responded with a polite but vocal, āCome in!ā Her hand reached out to open the Spanish book to refresh her memory on vocabulary covered in the early chapters, but she slowed her gesture upon seeing Joanna come through the now open door. Ororo was well aware by now of the impromptu leave of the teenās ex-boyfriend and had respectfully kept her distance, choosing not to suffocate Joanna. She had made a mental note to check on her in person before the wedding, but was relieved that the young woman had come to her. The apparent sadness coming through her brave face made the professor cast a small frown. Although it was something she doubted Joanna wanted to hear, she still asked, āHow are you doing?ā
Joanna knew the question was coming, yet, she was still unprepared to answer it. How was she? Functioning was the first word that came to mind, even if it sounded a lot more dour than she actually felt. After the initial breakdown, she leaned on her friends to get through the worst of it. Jubilee insisted on constantly keeping her busy with the latest Pinterest craze. Cole took her on long drives full of junk food and lip synching so bad itād make Britney Spears cringe. Marieās solution included several reenactments of Broadway plays, but Joanna drew the line at Hair. Others dragged her to various off-campus sites to get her mind off He Who Shall Not Be Named. She even led a school supplies drive, filled up backpacks with the donations and passed them out to needy kids. All of these distractions served their temporary purpose, but at night, while she was alone in her room her mind would wander. Cruelly, memories of their time together would play over and over again and she tried to find signs she hadnāt noticed at the time. There was still no acceptable explanation and that was the hardest part to get over. If she had a reason, maybe she could move on. Maybe it would hurt less. Maybe she could be herself again. Her eyes refocused, the pattern on her skirt turned from a blob of bright colors to a more familiar pattern. Head lifted, her gaze locked with the professorās, lips parting as she began to speak. āIām a long way from where I was, but Iām finding my way back to being okay.ā
Patiently and sympathetically waiting, Ororo pushed back from her desk and got up to come around and take a seat in the chair beside Joanna. Had this been a more formal meeting she would have probably stayed where sheād been but she felt no reason to set that sort of presence here. She wasnāt entirely sure what the response to her question would be but what she heard made her offer a hand out to Joanna. āThatās better than, well, a number of answers you could have given.ā Reaching up to tuck a few stray white strands behind her ear, Ororo went on to tell her, āI had seen you out and about a little bit this past week. It was worrisome not seeing much of you before then, but your friends truly care and it was comforting from a distance to see you around with them. Hopefully that has helped?ā Her head cocked to one side slightly with her gentle curiosity. For a moment, she said nothing and lowered her pale blue eyes until midway through speaking up again. āYou know, I know that it might sound meaningless for me to say that I understand what youāre going through right now, but I still want to tell you that I do. All of the feelings that accompany the hurt are a lot to deal with when itās still a raw wound. But I promise you that time is a great healer, albeit a frustrating one at times.ā
Joanna looked on as Ororo took the seat next to her, eventually reaching out to take her offered hand. A soft smile broke through the sadness. āIt was more bleak a week ago, Iām not gonna lie. Iām all cried out. I had to mourn for a little bit because it was so sudden. And the way it happened with me being out of town when Bo-ā Lips clamped shut, accompanied by a heavy sigh. āI canāt even say his name. It makes me physically sick. That means Iām still angry, right?ā She looked for a confirmation, although she already knew the answer. The mention of her friends made her chuckle with a grin, happiness battling the sadness pricking her eyes. āYou know how stubborn they are. They refuse to let me be sadder for longer than necessary. I donāt know what I would have done without their persistent behinds!ā Curiosity was piqued by the professorās admission. Who in their right mind would break Stormās heart? The bastard in question must have a death wish. Involuntarily, her free hand flexed and her already simmering rage grew tenfold. Just as quickly, she realized she probably looked ridiculous getting upset when the wounds had obviously healed some time ago. āItās not meaningless at all. Honestly, I wasnāt sure if I would be able to pick myself up off the floor. I was literally on the floor sobbing. I worked myself up so much that I couldnāt even breathe. And I thought, this is it. This is how Iām going to die. It sounds so dramatic, but I never knew I could hurt as much as that. With my dad, it was different, because I never expected better from him. I always wished and hoped, but I knew Iād never get it. With...you know, I thought more of him because he always treated me well. He was always honest- but I guess he wasnāt because thereās some secret that made him leave. He had carved a place inside the dreams I built for myself and Iām angry. Hurt. Sad. All of the above.ā Regret soon followed the parade of emotions and she palmed her forehead to quell the impending headache. āAll of this Iām feeling- I know Iāll eventually get over it. Itās so new right now that it feels like everything, but in a few years, itāll feel like nothing. If only I could fast forward!ā Another giggle fell from from her lips and she felt herself calm down. āYou and Logan have shown me that you can make it through some trying times and not only live to see another day, but you can also find love, too. You guys are getting married and Iām so happy for you. The fact that I can appreciate it shows that maybe Iām not so broken after all.ā
Ororo listened to a very self-aware Joanna and nodded, āIt can mean that, yes. As though merely speaking his name alone is adding insult to injury.ā There was a moment where she offered a sad smile, while Joanna responded about her friends but she saw the intrigue on the younger womanās face and heard how she had been processing everything; Ororoās lips evened out a little from the slight bends at the corners. There was a feeling of nausea in her stomach, sympathizing deeply with the situation Joanna was in and how much she hadnāt deserved such an end to her relationship. āIt was some time ago for me. I had begun healing from it before I had met or even considered dating Logan. But I do understand the heartbreak, especially when you do not see it coming.ā Wanting to be careful not to impose what experience sheād had as Joannaās feelings as though there was a set manual for relationships, she listened some more and while admiring the spurts of brighter spirits from the teen, told her, āItās nice to know that you see us as a beacon of hope for better days, but itās better hearing you recognize for yourself that, as difficult as this may be to endure for the time being, that you will not stay heartbroken because of his actions and how theyāre affecting you now.ā After giving Joannaās hand a gentle squeeze, she added, āAnd I want you to know how much Logan and I appreciate you still singing with Jubilee for us. It speaks on your perseverance and maturity, both of which I still admire.ā As she said this, a thought crossed her mind that prompted her to kindly free her hand from Joanna and stand up again. The sick feeling in her gut was subsiding while she crossed the room and knelt behind her desk. Underneath it where her feet usually rested, stood five sizable turquoise gift bags--one for each of her bridesmaids, plus Joanna and Jubilee. She checked the small tags on them to make sure she had the right one and pulled it out from underneath the desk. White tissue paper peeked out of the top in between each of the bag handles and as she made her way back to Joanna, she explained, āI was planning to give this to you before the wedding on Friday, but...Iād like you to have it now.ā Inside of the bag was a small, white jewelry-keepsake box. Its lid had intricate, lace-like designs carved across and at the center of the top sat an oblong, silver plaque of sorts; engraved on it were the words: Treasures of the treasured. Having relinquished the gift bag, she kindly waited, saying nothing else for the time being.
As Ororo spoke, Joanna listened to the wisdom imparted by her mentor, even finding the strength to smile in spite of the sadness hovering below the surface of her pulled together exterior. āThereās a lesson in this somewhere. I havenāt found out what it is yet but maybe a little time from it will help me figure it out.ā The smile grew into a full-fledged grin once talk moved to the wedding. āAre you kidding? Iāve been waiting for this wedding forever and I donāt care if I had to crawl to be there, I was still showing up for my OTP! To tell you the truth, preparing has really helped. It kept me occupied and focused because I want to do my very best.ā A jolt of nervous energy flowed through her as she thought about singing at such a pivotal moment in the ceremony. From her recent travails with her soon-to-be sister-in-law, Joanna didnāt want to add any additional stress to the situation so she decided not to mention it. āI canāt believe itās almost here. Youāre going to be such a beautiful bride. Full disclosure- I will be taking a lot of pictures. Probably more than the photographer. Try not to be annoyed!ā When the professor stood, Jo thought that she had probably gone too far in her fangirling and was prepared to offer a sincere apology until she saw the small gift bag in Ororoās hand. After the initial shock of the presentation wore off, her hands finally moved to retrieve the present inside. With the keepsake box firmly in her grasp, she glanced at Ororo with wide eyes, unsure of what to say. After reading the inscription for what had to be the hundredth time, she finally found her voice. "This is really... beautiful. Th-thanks," was all she was able to muster before being overcome by her emotions.
Ororo agreed and assured her, āIt will come.ā The smile that appeared on her face stilled with the rest of her, save her raised brows. Oddly enough, Logan was better at staying in the loop with slang and abbreviations than she was; sheād heard the term āOTPā used around school but couldnāt remember what the letters stood for. Joannaās excitement was more than enough for her to deduce that it wasnāt a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination, but her surprised and confused expression softened upon learning that the teen had been utilizing her role in the wedding to help her at this time. She tossed her head back slightly and let out some small laughs about the photography, āItās all right, and thank you by the way. If youāre an admirer of certain people, I am sure I wonāt be the only reason for your wanting to take photos on Friday.ā Purposely being rather cryptic, she thought about the number of guests who had responded to the invitation and briefly wondered how many of them would show up in uniform making themselves more recognizable, versus those who might opt for slight discretion in conventional formalwear. The thought was fleeting, however, as she watched Joanna pull the keepsake box from the bag and look it over. Her smile reappeared with her anticipation and when she heard Joannaās response, Ororo placed a hand high on Joannaās arm near shoulder and gently countered, āThank you, Joanna. From Logan and myself, not only for lending your voice on our wedding day, but for all you brought to the relationships you formed with us during the past school year. You are a wonderful young woman, and an an impressive athlete which is...well...the G-rated way that Logan put it when we first spoke about you.ā Her teeth shone with the admission but she kept her azure hues on Joanna. āI really am proud of how much you have grown in just the past year alone. It brings me true joy and I am looking forward to what the future holds for you and your journey.ā
Joanna snickered at Ororoās confusion, remembering that not everyone was familiar with online terminology. She was also grateful that the professor didn't mind if she and Jubilee got a little snap happy at the wedding. Jo still carried a few regrets from graduation and a good bit of them centered on the fact that she only took one photo with Steve Rogers. She hoped to rectify that misstep in a day's time and if she was really fortunate, maybe sheād end the night with a dance. Before her thoughts had a chance to venture into inappropriate territory, she stared at the tiny sterling silver box, letting itās coolness settle against both palms. The physical weight of it paled in comparison to its emotional one. Over and over Jo re-read the inscription. Treasures of the treasured. Briefly, she recalled the significant events from the past year and how each pivotal moment brought new challenges she somehow found a way to deal with. She went from being a runaway to one of the most popular girls at school. From being sickly with a life-threatening illness to a star athlete and the picture of health. From a shy girl to an outspoken advocate for mutant rights and standout performer in Grease. Someone who had felt invisible her entire life ended up becoming Prom Queen. A year ago, all hope was lost, but now everything had turned around. She had wonderful friends who had become a real family. She had experienced her first real romance, something she was sure wasnāt in the cards for her. Even though it didnāt work out how she wanted, she realized that she was capable of giving and receiving love. Whether she was Joanna or Amber, people loved and cared about her and it was all that she ever wanted. Smiling through her tears, she chuckled while imagining Loganās R-rated praises. āIām proud of me, too. Coming here...being around you guys...itās been⦠itās the best decision Iāve ever made. It changed my life for the better and you have no idea how grateful I am to you and Sideburns.ā Her laughter picked up at the nickname that fit her coach to a tee. āYour support has meant everything. You believed in me when I didnāt believe in myself. Through your guidance, youāve shown me that I can make it through anything.ā Present troubles came back to the forefront and she breathed through the difficult thoughts. āItās what I keep telling myself. It will pass. I will move on and be better for it in the end. You both taught me that.ā Sniffing back the rest of her tears, she grinned while pulling the older woman into a tight hug. āI promise only happy tears from here on out. Honest.ā
Ororo thawed her expression to a more genuine smile when some mild laughter broke through from Joanna. But seeing the tears form in the young womanās face compelled her to get up and grab some tissues from her desk; sheād had a fresh box sitting next to her computer. She wasnāt able to rise from the chair however, when Joanna gathered her in her arms for a hug that, although surprised, she happily returned. Her arms tightened around Joanna for a moment and while Ororoās chin was over her shoulder, she murmured, āI will be hoping for more tears of celebration from you, but itās okay if youāre still hurting and need a good cry for that too.ā She stayed close, doing her best to cherish the moment while wishing the hug would be enough and that her words would be enough. Time truly would serve Joanna better than her words, she was sure of it, but healing and a restoration of an abundance of joy was something she earnestly wanted for the young woman who had, in some ways, become something of a daughter to her, or so she felt. When she felt Joanna loosen her arms, Ororo kindly pulled away and smiled, promising, āAnd you will certainly come out better and stronger in the end. Iāll be here for you in any way that I can. You know where to find me.ā Her hands took both of Joannaās to give them a gentle squeeze, āAnd if Iām not around here at the school or you canāt reach me on my phone, Logan and I hope you will find some comfort in the words carved on the box.ā
Joanna remained in the embrace for a long moment, unwilling to leave the cocoon of support found in Ororoās arms. Words of encouragement had served to calm her up to that point, but it was something about physical contact that fed her soul. It was such a simple gesture and conveyed all the things that were sometimes difficult to put into words. Before the words were spoken, Joanna already knew that she could and would go to the professor for more than just advice or a shoulder to lean on. In her time at The Institute, she considered many to be her friends, but only a select few were a part of her inner circle and Ororo was chief among them. Few had allowed her to be the multi-faceted person she truly was and Jo was forever grateful for being granted the opportunity to do so. Aware that sheād probably never let go if she didnāt pull away (and also wary of Loganās wrath), she loosened her grasp slightly, eventually able to put space between them. A warm flush spread across her cheeks at the professorās kind words. āYouāre like in My Top Five, a long press away,ā she joked as she stood, placing the box back inside the gift bag. āThanks again...for everything. See ya at 15:00 hours.ā Joanna practically glided to the door, pausing while looking over her shoulder. āDonāt have too much fun, tonight. Wouldnāt want a Professors Gone Wild expose on the interwebs!ā
Ororo maintained her smile and lightly chuckled, āIāll keep that in mind if I start to worry.ā She stood up, smoothing out the front of her long skirt while Joanna put the gift back in the bag and prepared to leave. Feeling both happy and relieved to see Joanna leaving in better spirits than sheād shown up in, Ororo started back toward her desk, intending to shut down her computer so that she could head up to her room to get ready. She paused, however, upon hearing the cautionary words from Joanna. Laughing freely but quietly and knowingly, she promised, āIt wonāt come to that, but thank you, Joanna.ā After the door closed, Ororo took a seat at her desk and let all that had just occurred resonate in her mind before carrying on, powering down her office and making preparations to head out for her bachelorette party.
Tagging: Ororo Munroe & Logan Howlett with Warren Worthington III, Kevin Sydney, & Scott Summers | mentions of the remaining X Institute staff
Location: The Xavier Institute; Bedford Hills, NY
Time Frame: Late/nighttime, Aug. 6/7, 2015
General Notes: The big night before the big day.
Logan wasn't entirely sure what time they had returned to campus. Jimmy and Kurt politely declined invitations to the night out, opting to stay and help the professor look after the school but the mansion seemed asleep when the others got in. By all accounts and appearances, Warren was the only one of the groom's half of the bridal party to still be standing and speaking sensibly, opting for just one beer that night. Scott was surprisingly lucid but amused by just about everything; Kevin struggled the most with standing up straight and was relying heavily on his angel-winged comrade despite his contradicting claims that he was fiiiiiinnne. Logan managed his steps on his own albeit staggering on numerous occasions. A smirk seemed permanently plastered on his face regardless of what he was saying and for him, he had been uncharacteristically talkative. He, along with the other three men made progress up the main staircase toward Pembroke, shushing and bumping and snickering along the way. By the time they reached the mansion's fourth floor, Scott had come to a crawl and was suppressing a fit of giggles at himself, loudly whispering about how Storm was going to kill them. Kevin was the one to quickly refute it with promises that they would all be fiiiiiinnne in the morning. Warren had shot a look to the ceiling as though praying the confident best man would actually make it down the aisle but it was Logan, now leaning against the wall near his and Ororo's bedroom door, who slurred, "I'll be fine...Sssober at least. Dunno 'bout you though." Kevin looked indignant as Warren continued towing him along, "Me? Youuuu drank lika whale!" to which Warren wasted time reminding him, "Because he can, Kevin. Most people would be dead before they could consume that much alcohol. He'll probably be sober before his head hits the pillow tonight." Shaking his head, he then kindly told Logan, "I'll come back for Scott. But you should really try and rest, Logan. Big day tomorrow." The eldest of the bunch dropped his head and looked down where Scott had passed out, and then muttered a, "G'Night," to Warren before facing his bedroom door. He managed to get his keys out but had taken several tries before fitting it into the doorknob. Once he had it open, he resumed his unsteady walk inside and thought he was closing the door quietly when he had, in fact, slammed it shut. Smacking his own forehead for the guilty maneuver, Logan whispered, "'Ro!....'Ro, you awake..?" not having lifted his head since eyeing Scott in the hallway.
It had been an hour since Ororo had escorted her inebriated bridesmaids back to their respective rooms, but she was still sporting the same grin. Turned out that the normally awkward Tessa grew suddenly coordinated under the influence of tequila. The young professor had also discovered the joy of kickers and shooters, which provided a constant source of laughs throughout the evening. Not to be outdone by her junior cohort, Jean managed to polish off two bottles of Moscato all by herself despite Ororoās insistence that her maid of honor slow down. Cecilia opted for a harder spirit, kicking back several Manhattans that ended up being paid for by a handsome stranger. Paige was the only one who was brave enough to try the artisanal beers on taps and it took her several tries before finding the right blend. As for the bride, she abstained although Tessa tried her best to convince her that tequila would solve any pre-wedding jitters and world peace. When Ororo first mentioned a quiet evening to her friends, they either thought she was crazy, lame or both. Despite their initial protests, they ended up having a blast at Fabianoās Tuscan Grill. Having avoided the hustle of barhopping, the women were able to relax and discuss something other than work, which was sorely needed. To top it off, Ororo was still able to wear the bachelorette veil that Jean purchased for the occasion. In fact, she was still wearing it when she settled into bed, her Kindle in her lap as she waited for her fiance to return from his night out. Soon enough, she could make out loud whispers and grown man giggles. She simultaneously wanted to chide and laugh at the poor souls who couldnāt handle their liquor. Loganās gruff voice stood out over the others causing her amused grin to widen. More shuffling and badly disguised whispers followed before the door opened and her love stumbled inside their room. āYes and I guess thatās a good thing since youāre so loud!ā Snickering, she glanced at his tall frame, waiting for him to walk into the light to confirm her suspicions. āDid you have fun?ā
Ororoās snickers turned into full chuckles once his slurred words were uttered. āYou are and canāt tell because youāre sloppy drunk. Iām impressed.ā His sluggish movements encouraged a fit of laughter that only increased after his obnoxious belch. āI donāt even wanna know how many it took to get you to this point. Iām sure you set some kind of record.ā As he nuzzled close to her, she placed her Kindle on the nightstand then leaned on her side so they were facing each other. āAre you saying that you and Scotty bonded or is that the liquor talking?ā Her fingertips danced across his whiskered jaw line, pulling him a little closer to grant him a soft kiss. Settling back on the pillow, she maintained the caress listening to his sweet rambling. The mention of the crown made her reach up to touch the tiara. āA queen, huh? I did feel quite regal this evening. But I think it has more to do with whatās happening tomorrow than the actual crown.ā The nickname was one she could get used to and she made a mental note to encourage its practice. āThe ladies and I had dinner at Fabianoās and they got a little tipsy- not as tipsy as you and yours, but comfortably so. Hopefully no headaches in the morning. As for your lot, looks like Iāll be coming up with the hangover cure. Kev probably wonāt remember his name let alone the recipe.ā Leaning down slightly, she kissed the top of his head before asking, āReady for tomorrow?ā
āShoulda seen me back at the bar,ā Logan told her. āDidnāt count but I betcha Warren coulda toldja.ā Lying on his side, he fumbled with the belt buckle and zipper at his jeans but quickly gave up at the tedious work. At her question about bonding with the otherwise uptight Scott, Logan looked like he was giving it genuine thought but his answer had been, āGimme an hour. Maybe less. Iāll be soberer...then I can tell ya.ā His large head bobbed between her fingers after he kissed her back, āMmm...I kinda like it. Suits ya plenty.ā Softening his smile, he settled his half-lidded hazel hues on her, listening with an albeit delayed level of comprehension--delayed for his otherwise ultra sharp focus. āGonna needa link āem up to a Bloody Mary catheter āer somethinā,ā he joked. Her latest question made him quiet. He hadnāt been sad nor was he upset by the question but he had taken his time to answer. āTātell ya the truth, Iām ready but Iād been nervous. Kinda why Iād drunk sāmuch tonight.ā One of his large hands was idly roaming the length of her torso as he spoke on, āI love you, āRo. Sounds corny to say this, but both times in the past...the other times Iād been married I didnāt think Iād be happier or get a better woman to spend my life with. But I was wrong. Real wrong. Ya proved me wrong. So...Donāt wanna make ya unhappy or nothinā. Mānot gonna leave ya at the altar or nothinā foolish like that. Just want ya to know the truth.ā
Ororo laughed at the thought of Warren having a detailed spreadsheet of the groupās drink count. āNo doubt that he probably could with the memory he has.ā His continued compliments had her drunk on happiness and she secretly wished for the time to race along in order to be brought closer to their formal commitment. āItās a good thing the tomatoes were harvested. Weāll be going through āem come morning. Luckily, I donāt have to worry about you. Youāll be over this in two hours, tops. But I have to admit Iām having a blast watching you suffer, my love.ā When he looked up at her, she couldnāt help herself and tapped the tip of his nose. His cheeks still sported the healthy flush that accompanied inebriation and in that moment, she thought it impossible to be any happier than she was. The silence was welcome and she didnāt think much of it until Logan began fidgeting against her still frame. He finally spoke and Ororo found his words surprising. He seemed his typical self; excited when appropriate and grumpy when expected. Sheād never forget his mini-tantrum over place settings. But now, as his nervous fingers danced down her abdomen, for the first time, she felt nervous. Then he explained what he meant and a calmness washed over her. Theyād both been married before and neither situation worked out how they imagined it would. The best thing that came out of that failure was the second chance they were about to embark on. āWhile I find it hard to believe that you of all people were nervous, Iām glad that you told me how you were feeling. It explains...a lot.ā The last bit was followed by a deep chuckle she didnāt try to hide. āI love you, too, Jamie. Even when youāre drunk and rambling. Though your rambles are adorable.ā His stilled movements and steady breathing convinced her that he had finally drifted off to sleep and she whispered, āYou are going to be the best father. The next year is going to be the greatest one yet. I know it.ā
Logan smiled at her, glad she wasn't the least bit concerned about his state for their wedding. He had already been feeling far more cohesive than when he and his friends first conquered the mansionās stairs and knew part of his mumbling had to do with the fatigue setting in. After confiding how he had been feeling regarding their nuptials, Logan let his eyes fall shut but his hypersensitive ears allowed him to remain attentive. He wasn't a particularly heavy sleeper; he was actually one of the lightest sleepers on the grounds but he felt himself nodding off when hearing his nickname from her. Of the few people who knew his actual first name was James, Ororo was the only one who could get away with calling him it or any variation of it without negative reception from him. His lips parted from his jaw slackening as he welcomed the sleep. But he was gently roused from the sound of Ororo's voice speaking softly to him again. It had taken him a few seconds before he reacted outwardly to what she said. First, he stilled, completely. And then, his brows twitched together while his eyes snapped open, unintentionally giving an upset expression. He wasn't upset, though. Confused? Mildly. Shocked and befuddled? Definitely. His fixed eyes took in the sleepy delight prancing across his love's face and while he wasn't one to generally need something repeated, Logan asked, "...You wanna run that by me again, 'Ro?" His mind was still feeling mild effects of all the whiskey he downed but her whispered words were like a dry sponge to all that remained in his system. "Are ya...you...I'm gonna..." His hand came up from her torso to his forehead as though he was checking himself for a fever. "Holy shit!" he whispered. Lowering his hand away, he had given her another question, "Are ya sure? I mean...we're gonna be parents?"
Finding herself starting to drift off, Ororo adjusted into a more comfortable position, content that someone other than Jean knew of her secret. The excitement she had been trying to quell throughout the long day finally bubbled to the surface and she was left with what was surely a silly expression. A slightly panicked voice brought her out of her reverie and she stared at Loganās confused features. āYou werenāt supposed to hear that!ā Wincing slightly, she reluctantly nodded, wondering if the news was good news. āI am, you are....we are. Iām sure. As positive as the seven tests I took. I know itās a lot, but I had to be sure before I told you and I meant to tell you after the wedding.ā Her head fell back against the pillow as regret and second-guesses dominated her thoughts. āI thought you were asleep. Iām sorry. I got a little excited. It was unexpected. I thought it would happen in a couple of years when we had our own home. Not that I donāt want it to. I want it more than anything.ā As if she had spoken them into existence, doubts began to cloud her judgment, the force of new fears prompting her to sit upright. āHow do you feel about it? I didnāt mean to spring this on you. I wanted to surprise you. Do something special. Like maybe one of those YouTube things, although Tessa would have probably have had to show me how to do it and Iād have to deal with her explaining every single facet and by then I would want to give up on the whole idea!ā Realizing her nerves were getting the better of her, she snapped her lips shut to end the barrage of word vomit. āAre you excited? Be honest. I promise I wonāt take it personally.ā Aware that she was venturing toward an emotional state beyond her control, she amended the statement. āIāll try not to at least.ā
It seemed as if years had passed between her question and his eventual answer, but when Logan drew Ororo into his arms, those doubts sheād been obsessing over nearly vanished. It was the kiss that rid them for good and she felt a little foolish for her initial reaction. His explanation brought her peace and she could only smile at his budding excitement. āIām happy for us, too. A little nervous, Iām not going to lie. But this baby is the best surprise and Iām thrilled that youāre so excited.ā Talk of their own home made her melt and if his arms werenāt anchoring, she was certain she would float away from the sheer joy of their dreams coming true. āOne thing at a time, huh? I canāt wait to call you my husband.ā The love she had for him began to overwhelm her, but she stayed close to him cherishing the moment. Up until now, the baby had been an abstract thought. Something she could put in the back of her mind. It would still be a few weeks before she started showing so it was easy to go about life as usual. But now that he knew, his excitement stirred her back to reality and the baby became more than just a thought. It was the living connection between two hearts. Everything was falling into place and although it wasnāt as perfect as she had hoped, it was happening. They would adjust like they always did and life would go on. āAre you saying I smell like Eau dābebe? Thatās actually a thing?ā A bout of giggles hit her then and she couldnāt stop laughing. āSo, that means youāll be able to tell next time.ā Realizing she was again thinking a little too far ahead, she grinned sheepishly, adding, āIf weāre lucky, of course.ā
Time has flown by this summer. Just like past summers, I did my share of traveling: LA with Jeremy, back to LA with Jubilee, Jo, Remy & Marie; Myrtle Beach with Pietro, and a road trip home with all of them, plus Wanda, The Cuckoo sisters and Dee. I have one more trip to go before school starts, another trip with Jeremy later this month and all I know so far as that Iāll need my passport. In between the trips, I worked, spent time at the school with friends, and came to some realizations. Most of them have been about relationships.
Iāve spent a lot of time thinking on whatās happened in the past 2 years, almost 2 years since I had been kicked out, and over 1 year since I moved into the Institute. It would have made sense for me to keep the distance from my family, rather than become further involved in it. And it would have made sense for me to have continued keeping new people in my life at a safe distance even if I might not think Iād need to. But itās not exactly what Iāve done, especially in this past few months.
Iām not completely changed from keeping people at a safe distance. My relationships here have been and continue to be dynamic. People seem to come and go often, more so than at my last school. Or maybe I just notice it more because the school has fewer people and weāre all living together. Iām not sure. With all of the comings and goings, it does make it easier for me not to get too attached to too many people and not too quickly either. Iām not sure if thereās a term for being in between āacquaintanceā and āfriendā but if there is one, thatās how I would see Remy, Wanda, Lorna, The Cuckoos, Alice and Julian. Thereās always the possibility that my relationship with any of them could become a solid friendship, especially with some more than others but weāll see. Remyās always been close to Jubs and Jo. I donāt know much about him but I do know heās kind and funny, and the best person Iāve seen Jubs take interest in. Lornaās tough to keep up with at times but knowing that keeps me on my toes sometimes. I know sheās been dealt a lousy hand in her past but Iām hoping that with the new information she has that sheāll have a better future ahead of her. Iād like to do more than just hope that for her though. Time will tell. The Cuckoos are brilliant sisters, resilient, and comical (well, Esme certainly is). Alice is as sweet as she is insightful, diligent. Julian really has been the best roommate. I donāt know if our rooming situation will change when the new school year starts. I heard it was possible, but regardless if weāre roommates next year or not, heās a good guy. And Wanda is incredible. I donāt think many people know that, but she is. Sheās kind and caring in the same way her brother and I are. Iād like to see us become better friends, not just because of mine and Pietroās relationship, but just because sheās a great person all her own.
The safe distance also happens when I think about my dad wanting to reconcile. I donāt need to make any formal declarations and I really donāt intend to discuss it with anyone, but Iād like to see my relationship with my dad get better too. Itās tough to trust his words without many actions backing it up. So far though, it does seem like weāre heading toward some improvement. Weāve talked more in the past few months than we had in the past few years. Itās hard to say if it will last but for now Iām trying to letting myself be okay with not knowing. Besides, if somehow things go south with us again, Iāve already decided that I wonāt be putting any efforts for a third crack at our relationship.
Going back to distancing, or not distancing myself from my family, Iāve got a second job lined up with Harris Broadcasting. Iāll still work a few hours per week at Yorktown Pet Store but Iāll start my part time internship this fall as well. Itās exciting and a little daunting at the same time because itās new. Itās a brand new venture for me and a new business in general, so itās all a gamble. But a part of the reason why I took the interning position is because of the risks going with it. I know that Iām good at observing and analyzing situations and considering risks versus safe bets. For too long, the past few years especially, Iāve been mostly settled in taking the safe bets. I donāt want to live that way in all aspects of my life. I wonāt throw all my perspective and rationale out of the window (I couldnāt if I tried) but when I look at the risks Iāve taken in the past few years, thereās been more good than turmoil to come out of it.
Which brings me to the school and my newest friends. Marieās the newest amongst my own circle of friends. Sheās straight to the point, honest, driven and a great writer. I like hanging out with her. I like our inside and ongoing jokes that we have, and I hope for good things to come her way. And I never thought Iād make other friends like what Jeremy and Will are to me. Jo and Jubilee both made me re-think that during this past school year. Up until recently, I didnāt really open myself up to anyone else at this school like I did them. And I didnāt really care about anyone else at this school like I have them. Iāve spent more time with the two of them than anyone else and I know that I would do for them the way that I would Will and Jeremy. Itās incredible to me, to feel that way about two people I havenāt quite known for a year, similarly to two people Iāve known for almost half my life. Maybe to some people, a year is too long to call a friendship 'new' but not to me, which is what makes it so incredible. Jo and Jubs are a part of my family now.
There are relationships in my life that have recently ended. And with as much passion as Iāve put behind hating those people, Iām glad for it. Iāve been out of the limelight of media attention for the most part, since coming to the school, which has been a nice break. But I know it wonāt last forever. Still, the bridges that were burned while Iāve been here remind me that thereās too many dishonest, flaky and outright piles of scum out there. So as enraged as my mother tends to make me, and as disgusted as I am toward Bobby for how he treated Jo (nevermind Jubs and I), theyāre important reminders for me to be careful of who I invest my concerns with and not give my time to blatant cowards.
I know that I like to be in control. Despite, or because of the chaos throughout my life, Iāve wanted and had a surprising amount of control. Thereās security in being in control of decisions and situations and I donāt see that changing much about myself, but being with Pietroās made me let that go at times. With letting go, itās driven me into vulnerable places with him. That is just as frightening as being out of control. Itās been worth it to take risks with him, to be vulnerable with him from time to time. Iāve been guarded for so long but heās bringing some of those walls down, and itās made me feel closer to him and want to keep that closeness with him for the long haul. More than the kisses and hand holding, those moments have made my relationship with him that much more distinct than the relationships I have with my friends. I donāt usually talk about our relationship in depth with others but I did talk to Professor Sydney recently and heād used the word āintimacyā, describing what I told him as being intimate. I hadnāt really thought of it that way, probably because itās usually tied to physical things, and not so much the emotional. Heās right though. Itās a new kind of intimate for me.
Maybe Iām falling for him. I donāt know if itās too soon for that but surprisingly enough, I donāt care. Weāve lived together at this school for about 5 mths now. I see him practically on a daily basis. And I still smile each time. I still get nervous about some things but Iām better at not showing it now. I can flip back to old journal entries where Iād written about him and those things Iāve written about him months ago are still true now. Itās corny but I honestly havenāt felt this way about anyone before. I donāt have past relationships to compare us to but I wouldnāt want to compare anything else to something that continues to feel like itās on its own level.
The non-relationship realization is where Iāll be, academically. Iāll still be here at the X Institute for another year, maybe two since thatās the maximum time Iāll be allowed to stay here. My freshmen orientation was today. I toured the NYU Stern and Steinhardt campuses, and between the two, Iām enrolled in 18 units of online classes with their honors program, plus Danger Room 201 with the X Institute. I donāt know that Iāll join any clubsanywhere this year, or at least not for this first semester. School is important to me--it always has been, and Iāll have my jobs, but I value my down time too. If it turns out that I can manage the load this semester, maybe Iāll rush for a fraternity in the spring, get more involved at the university and keep my promise to Jubs.
Cot will be here tomorrow. The professors are letting her transfer in a little early, but I know sheās ready to burst with how excited she is about everything except for math classes with Summers. Sheās even hoping she gets DR classes with Logan, the weirdo. But I couldnāt be happier for her finally getting here.
I simultaneously feel safe and am taking a risk in saying that for the first time in a long time, Iām content with my life. Absolute, unconditional happiness is a lie--you can always find things to be dissatisfied with. But Iām not letting those things (or people) anchor me from the new ventures I have to look forward to, the friends who bring joy and insight to my life, and the boyfriend and family who remind me that I am loved and have somewhere to give that back.