#xotildeath

i’ve been trying to go back,

wondering why i even went back,

didn’t want to go back,

feeling the need to escape,

but escaping with you felt better,

so i went back,

feeling the need to escape,

& every fucking time i wanted to escape.

you were the first thought,

the never ending lingering of you,

escaping with you felt better.

waves of emotion coming down all over me.

waves of tears trickling down my face,

couldn’t stop. didn’t want to cry

but cried anyways.

eyes puffing out, never ending.

crying for help.

crying for myself.

crying from all the things that once was.

crying from all of the hurt

from the very beginning of time.

crying from what is supposed to be

a hazy memory,

coming back to the surface again.

crying for forgiveness.

crying for love.

crying for worthiness.

crying for myself.

crying for help.

waves upon waves.