#xomuses

two lines. 

seven tests strewn around her, and they’d all given her the same result, over and over : two lines. pregnant. 

it wasn’t that she didn’t want a baby - she did, one day. she wanted a husband and a family and a little house just on the outskirts of the city that she could fill with love and warmth and a home, just like she’d grown up in herself. she even hoped that it would be with nate - that he’d realize somewhere along the lines that he needed to get his act together, to be a partner with her, to help provide a stable home for their child. 

she did not expect it to happen mere days after graduating from her masters degree, no job prospects in the future, while he was still tending bar. 

there were options, maybe, but the only one that seemed to feel...right, or as right as she could come up with was - 

run. flee. break up with nate, raise the baby on her own. 

he wasn’t ready to be a father. he’d panic, stumble, fail, and neither of them could recover it. it was selfish, and it was terrible, and despite the fact that she was trying to look at it from a best case scenario eyeline, she knew how it would go. she’d break both of their hearts. 

@xomuses​ said. “ i need some space. ”

@xomuses​ asked - what did we do last night?

it wasn’t fair to do this to her. it really, really wasn’t. she hadn’t seen him in over a year - 397 days, to be exact, not that she was counting. she had come over because he’d asked - claimed he needed her, but he had just been lonely. and she had been the idiot who had believed him, fallen into the trap because he was supposed to be different. he wasn’t supposed to be like hte rest. 

stay with me tonight. 

like she could just stay there in his bed and things would go back to how they were. like she hadn’t spent the past 400 days trying to evict herself from the world of crime her family was immersed in, as if she wasn’t trying to stay on the straight and narrow.

“no!” she practically screamed it, trying to put her boots back on, searching for her jacket - she was going to leave, and that was that. “it was a mistake coming in the first place. i shouldn’t have even answered your text, but that was a mistake i’ll deal with later. i’m leaving, now help me find my coat so i can go.” 

it was inconceivable, sometimes, how fucked life could get. the past two years, all stella had wanted was for that little line to turn pink, to tell her she was going to have the happy ending she’d wanted all along. but somewhere along the lines, she’d changed her mind - or he’d changed his mind, or they both had. she didn’t know. what she did know was that as soon as they’d stopped trying - for a baby, at their marriage - and gotten lawyers involved, a folder of papers left for her to sign on the kitchen table they’d once shared - her period had stopped. and the nausea had started. and stella had assumed it was merely stress until -  “i couldn’t stop throwing up with you,” her mother had said absentmindedly when stella had run to the bathroom for the fourth time in one day. it seemed almost impossible.  but there it was.  a pink line - pink for yes, blue for no - telling her exactly what she hadn’t been expecting.  she had been staying with her mother, but this wasn’t something she could keep from him. if he wanted to be involved - they’d have to figure it out. if he didn’t - well, then it made those papers all that much easier to sign and do away with. but she was on the couch when he arrived home, her face already buried in research - books she’d bought once upon a time in a vain hope that they’d bring good karma to her - her mind running a million miles an hour.  she didn’t even give him a moment - not a single one - when he arrived. the words came out in a rush - “i’m pregnant,” the first time she’d said them aloud. the first time she’d let herself truly believe it. “we’re having a baby.” 

being a year younger than all her classmates was something maya had grown used to in high school. in college, it didn’t seem to matter - at least, until all of her friends turned 21, and she was still sitting at 20, praying her fake ID worked to get her into the bar with them. 

the bouncer at the door of the club was a strict one - she’d known girls who’d not just gotten kicked out, but arrested for even trying before when they went by him with a fake. and worst of all, she didn’t even have a crew with her to hide in the crowd of id’s - to hide herself in. she just wanted to forget everything for a little while, to drink and dance and maybe find someone cute to go home with, but if she tried to get in ‘legally’ - well, she’d be fucked in an entirely different way. 

the bouncer was busy talking to someone at the door, and maya saw her chance - there wasn’t a girl with them, and she could easily charm her way in if she pretended to be their girlfriend. praying her plan wasn’t too crazy, she walked up with purpose, the bouncer nodding her way and they turned to see her before she wound her arms around them, pulling them in for a deep kiss before pulling away and smiling brightly. “we’re not going to stand here all night, are we babe? i am in desperate need to dance tonight.” 

the words are easy to believe - luci can see the sincerity in her eyes as she looks into them - but there’s always the question of how much she should believe them. after all, there’s a ring on her finger belonging to a man, a home she goes to that luci’s not allowed to enter as her ‘girlfriend’, her name a disguise in the others phone. 

sometimes, she wants to tear down all pretenses and tell naomi to make a damn choice for once in her life, to just come with her and be who she really is. 

but it isn’t easy for everyone, not like it was luci. so while the other tells her she loves her, and she believes her, all she can do is sweep away a lock of hair and give her a promise in return: “i know we’re not perfect,” she whispers, kissing the others cheek, leaving behind a dash of red lipstick in the shape of her mouth, “but i’ve never felt this way for anyone. ever. and i know there’s still so much to figure out but - tell him you’re just going on vacation. i’m only going to be in london for a week for this article - it’ll even be a vacation. please, come with me?” 

the forman basement was always empty earlier in the day; eddie was at firefighting camp or whatever, jack was busy being too smart for her own good, and fez was almost always nowhere to be seen until at least dusk. the actual residents of the house were usually MIA as well, but noah hated sitting alone on campus, or even worse, alone at the house she was still staying at next door. 

it wasn’t that she didn’t, like, totally appreciate what the pinciotti’s were doing for her - she did, 100%. but also, jack’s dad was a little much, and for someone with such beautiful hair, jack did absolutely nothing noah ever wanted to do - like dressing up in nice clothes that didn’t make her look like a lumberjack and putting on some make up for once. 

still, she hadn’t expected hyde to wake up and find her on the couch, a rerun of some cartoon playing quietly while she poured over her communications textbook. she honestly tried to forget that he lived in a cave behind the water heater - life was just easier that way. 

“gross, why are you here?” she demanded when he appeared, refusing to look up at him - would it kill him to do laundry? the washer was right there. “i thought you were like, half vampire and only came out once the sun was down.”