#xiaojunfic

Warning: Soft then serious then emotionally intense and then happy again. (｡♥‿♥｡)

Xiao De Jun is such a beautiful, musical soul~

The thing about Xiaojun is that. Well. He’s beautiful.

His thick dark eyebrows. His ruffled black hair. His carefully chiseled face.

He’s a walking masterpiece, for the love of God, but does that boy know it?

Xiaojun is smöl and tiny and sweet and quiet despite his fiercely handsome looks.

And yet. You know how passionate he is.

He had a dream, and he did everything he could to achieve it.

Whether it was acting, singing, dancing..Xiaojun could do it all.

It wasn’t easy though, that’s for sure.

And it wasn’t just the late nights. Xiaojun was hardworking and talented, those were hard, but they weren’t that bad.

It was the memories of those people, all those people, who told him he couldn’t make it. Called him horrible words. Called him a Mama’s boy. And, worst, called his father a woman for what he so loved to do the most.

And yet, amidst those horrid memories, Xiaojun stood strong.

He’s such a lovely person.

There’s such a vulnerability in his eyes now though, a pain he only trusts you with.

And yet. He’s so happy and cheerful and crazy at the same time?

Like. When you visited his room. For the very first time.

Not his dorm room, his room back in his old house in Guangdong...

It’s neat and clean and peppered all over with movie posters and CDs. Classics and blockbusters and dramas, you name it, he’s got it.

And all his records...

He’s embarrassed at showing you his geeky, fanboy side. Yeah, he’s not really the troubled hurt boy some people make him out to be. He’s more than that. He’s beautiful and emotional and musical and just so artistic.

And you love him for it. And you tell him so.

And he tells you he loves you for loving it. 💖

He’s your happy melancholy boy, and that’s okay, because you’re always going to be there for him.

Aside from being sweetly geeky, though...

He’s totally that type of guy who would grin at you from across the room.

Not even a full smile. More of an upturned side of his pretty little mouth. A cute lil smirk.

Yet for someone who’s crazily confident, he’s also such a shy and soft baby~

He would totally walk you everywhere you go. Not in a bad way. More like he just wants to spend more time with you way.

Hands in pockets, very preppy sweater or extremely casual T-shirt rippling over his thin yet muscled body. Xiaojun would walk with you and talk to you about anything. Whispering sweet nothings. Remarks about the weather. The noodles he had for lunch. The hot pot place he’s been dying to take you to. His latest album. And the song he’s been writing.

“You’re writing a new song?”

“Yes, with my guitar. But I haven’t finished yet.”

You take out your pinky. “Pinky swear. Promise me you’ll play it for me when it’s done?”

Xiaojun smiles that cheeky smile. And he holds up his pinky, too, and locks it with yours. “Pinky swear. I really promise, I do.”

Xiaojun is really that type of quiet boy who makes you feel at ease.

And honestly, you love that about him.

And no, don’t get it wrong, you don’t romanticize the sht out of everything he’s been through—the years of practice, the passion for music, the bullying and trauma—all for you to see him as some beautiful brooding boy.

Again, he’s more than that.

And you absolutely hate it when people do the same.

Dejun has done everything; he’s so sweet, he so deserves where he is right now~

He’s the type to tell you about how one time after being away for so long, he and his friends planned to surprise his mom, and he cornered her while she was entering her car one dark and chilly night in Guangdong and how she laughed and smiled so much, and how her hug was the warmest thing he’d ever had—

—or the time he told you how he walked past his bullies, turned the other cheek; the way he and his brother stood up for their father when people threw ugly words like f*g at him, and how his dad always accepted him as the musical child and always encouraged him to follow his dreams despite not being the ideal Chinese son, and the love he felt right then and there...

Xiaojun may be musical and beautiful and quiet and brooding but that’s what makes him your Dejun, your sweet and sentimental boy.

Sometimes you can’t help but be sad about how he’s away so much during tour and promo season, but he’s totally the type to video call you almost every night—

At first you try to always apply some foundation and lipstick to look your best for him, but he sees your pajamas and asks why you haven’t washed your face yet so late in the night.

And you’re hesitant to tell him; embarrassed, even—

But he’s adamant and you confess.

And he goes super serious, he’s all, “You’re beautiful with or without makeup. You’re always beautiful in my eyes. You’re always going to be the love of my life to me...”

And you both cringe at how cheesy that was, and he apologizes but lets you know how much you mean to him, anyway, and you tell him you love him too—

What you don’t tell him is how secretly squeal-y you got inside when he told you that. You would never admit that. But, well...

Happiness was breaking over you like a wave. It almost frightened you.

He’s so beautiful yet vulnerable but no you shouldn’t romanticize it but you’re genuinely worried and your thoughts are all over the place—

And yet. His mere presence calms you. And you tell yourself to trust him. And to trust how fate has brought you both together.

You love him so much, the way he raised his eyebrows, or just one; the way he smiles slightly like a smirk; the way he always cares for you even if he’s even more shy than you are and kind of overtly sentimental to boot...

It’s okay. Because you have him.

And he has you.

One night he comes back, surprises you at your place, and tells you he’s ready to play the song he was telling you about, the song he wrote.

And he gets out his guitar, and—

It’s the most beautiful melody you’ve ever heard: his sweet and mellifluous voice coupled with the raw strings of the acoustic guitar, and the lyrics he penned himself—

—about how much he loves you.

And you’re crying and it’s so sentimental but you love him so much, he deserves the world, he’s not some beautiful broken boy goddamit he is Xiao Dejun and you love him and he loves you.

“Why are you crying?” he asks, genuinely concerned.

You wipe your tears. “Because you’re so sweet? And I’m so overcome?”

You laugh. He laughs. He leans over. Bends close. And kisses you.

And, well,

That’s why.

It’s not just the serenade, not just the handsomeness, not just the romance,

It’s the pure love from his beautiful soul.

It’s the true love you have for one another.