#xancorrin

they both recognise the guilt and shame in each other’s eyes, and there’s this subtle, unspoken, shared experience between them. until corrin comes back from hoshido and reveals her true parentage. and suddenly xander is walking around the castle with his eyes the slightest bit brighter, the crease in his forehead the slightest bit softer, and his shoulders held the slightest bit lower. he’s still tense and stressed (he is xander, after all) but he looks relaxed, if only the slightest bit.

and leo sees this. and it wrecks him. he can hardly bring himself to look at xander, without being reminded of his situation. xander doesn’t even know if corrin does or will ever return his feelings, but it doesn’t matter—the guilt that he’s always harboured about them, while still present, has been partially lifted off his shoulders.

and where leo used to have an unspoken bond of solidarity, he’s now alone, carrying feelings he knows are wrong and will never be right. a part of him hates xander for this, even though it’s not irrational. and he hates corrin for revealing it, or finding out, or just for her parentage in general—it doesn’t matter why, exactly. not to mention how he already feels about xander showering corrin with attention and camilla smothering her with affection while both ignore him.

Although I suppose it makes sense that he doesn’t, considering his whole “everything i do is to please father” thing. I could see him struggling to apologise for something he did on his father’s behalf. But still 😔 I carried this belief with me throughout cq, only for him to say that right at the beginning of br

On the other hand though…. there’s something kind of fun about that. He never intends to tell Corrin because he loves her so much and doesn’t want her to feel any less. And especially with the almost found-family vibe the nohrian siblings have (yes I know they’re actually siblings which makes it not found family. but they didn’t grow up together when they were young, and were in active conflict with one another until they came together), I could see it not really mattering to him. So then when she picks Hoshido, he just spits it out, full of vitriol, because “I knew, but I kept this secret for you. and now you betray us??”

i love the idea of leo and xander just…. existing. with so much shame (leo) and guilt (xander) and repression and frustration, vaguely aware of each other’s struggles.

until at some point something snaps in the tension and suddenly they’re in a hidden corridor of the castle, making out and grinding on each other. and when they’re done, they don’t say a word to each other about it. but it happens, again. and again.

both of them are too ashamed to admit their feelings to anyone, even to each other out loud, but the tacit understanding of their shared situations means that they can trust each other. and this is the only way of working through their frustration