#xam rambles

Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies

This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not

So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters

I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash

I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted

Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it

At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do

Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction

So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older

I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet

When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"

But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work

If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now

I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:

Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)

I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat

I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least

I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example

I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep

I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor

I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence

The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers

Some new Dolly outfits

Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days

Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo

I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused

One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book

An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well

Aight time to make a pinned

HI I’m Max/Xam (they/them)! I draw in PaintTool SAI

I post my art, OCs and stuff I like. You’ll probably find a bunch of atmospheric, creepy, cute, cartoony and colorful things here! Generally eyestrain-y and 16+

Reposts of my art aren’t appreciated. Icons, headers, wallpaper, etc are ok to use with credit! These are the brushes I use

Art tag

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I really hope we’ll get to see some trippy interiors in Welcome Home, but if not, I’d love to do something with the concept of the deeply unsettling 60s-70s home decorations one day (or as I like to call it, grandma horror)

The oppressive reds, blacks, oranges and browns everywhere. The overwhelming, noisy, yet organized geometrical patterns interspersed with bold solid color blocking. The concept of slapping said patterns even on the ceiling Just so your senses don’t get even a second to breathe.

The hazy dreamlike quality to it, mixing with the stereotypical darker side of the era (cults, serial killers, movies like The Shining and Suspiria taking full advantage of their interiors), mixing with my own experiences with such aesthetic (buildings that still have recognizably 70s elements often signal decay, lack of resources or care, or the inability to move on. most of my encounters with it were unpleasant one way or another, especially in hospitals).

Like, it’s so cute for him to act surprised about Mary claiming him dead, as if that’s not 1) the most logical conclusion that was only thwarted by Ed 2) the only way for Mary to avoid the immense embarrassment he just casually dropped on her She probably would’ve been regarded as worse than a single “unwanted” woman in that shit society. She’s been “used” and then “discarded”. I can picture Fettering and his bros exchanging boomer jokes in their pub like "guess his wife was so naggy, he’d rather be a sea vagabond than a father, can relate lol!!" 

Like of course she had to make up some story about Stede going on some silly trip and drowning in a storm, just to continue living her life in peace and be allowed to find a new partner. But he didn’t think of that, and even continued intentionally embarrassing her further when he came back

On top of that, imagine if someone from their town found out about Stede’s affair with Ed, that’d be the juiciest gossip for like two entire months. “His wife was so bad, even the scariest pirate in history is a better lover lmao!! Turned gay just to avoid the family” Horrid <3

So the least Stede could do for her is to maybe stop parading his name around if he really wanted to disappear from his old life for good, but his ego was too fat and he truly didn’t give anything much of a thought before jumping on that ship. He just kinda hoped stuff would work itself out, and it really didn’t

It ties back into him being more of a tourist than a pirate, too. He didn’t fully discard his riches until the very end either, so his initial escape gesture was pretty half-assed, like he still wasn’t ready to fully commit to it. “If shit went south, maybe I’d still be able to go back and continue being a landed gentry sir Bonnet”

The ep10 fuckery should’ve been organized from the start, but he would've never done that before meeting Ed. He wouldn't have the courage to fully open up to Mary about his unhappiness, wouldn't know how to coordinate a good show, wouldn't be able to stomach that blood all over his face

Tumblr: xamag-draws (with a dash because Tumblr hates underscores)

Twitter: xamag_draws (with an underscore because Twitter hates dashes lmao)

Just wanna talk about Ed's trust issues and fear of rejection and embarrassment for a bit. I’m sure a lot has been said about it already, but I need to release the pressure from my cranium.    

I love Ed because he’s simultaneously very confident and comfortable in his skin, with great people skills and open demeanor, but also has a lot of insecurities and feels lost in social situations he's not familiar with. He's up to any silly shit as long as others support it or find it cool, but if he thinks that people are starting to laugh at him instead of with him, he loses it.

I often see posts going around that are like “Ed was going after Stede from the start, the way he flirts with him”, “Stede is clueless but Ed knew what he wanted”. And I sorta get where they’re coming from, but also? No he didn’t <3

This basically ignores the entire premise, that these two people completely accidentally fell in love and didn’t even fully realize it until the end, which is what makes the show so sweet. So I’m just gonna ramble about that lmao.

I think what causes people to say that is Ed’s charm and maybe even the initial attraction to Stede, but the thing is that there’s nothing special about those at the start. Ed is that way with everyone. He fucked, but never loved, that’s the whole point.