#wxshless

This was a bad idea. -- Actually, bad didn't even begin to cover it. Howstupid can one be, to decide to fall from the sky for a boy? Well, apparently Raven and herself. The moment she saw the girl in that blasting tin can, Allison knew what she had to do. Report her, or go with her. And, she choose the latter. For him, for Bellamy. The trip down, i it could be called that, was miserable, and Allison loathed heights to begin with. So, she spent most of it with her palms pressed against any surface she could find, trying not to flail and distract Raven from doing whatever she could to prevent them from headbutting the earth.             They did it anyways. Allison's cheek was bleeding profusely, and she didn't even know when or how she hit it. It might as well be her own nails, in moment of distress.  Once the doors opened, Allison quite literally rolled out and onto the the ground, fingers digging into warm earth and slick grass. She never felt anything like this before. The sun on her skin, the moist way the air could feel.  She could hear Raven and some others, but she didn't move. She didn't want to move. But she had in order to find him. So, she did. And that was probably he reason she missed seeing Bell getting his hands onto the radio, only arriving at the moment of Raven hissing at him.                                "B E L L A M Y !! "

She hadn't cried, not since that morning, right before everything went further to hell than it had prior. She'd killed Finn, that was necessary, but this? Turning it off, was that really what was best for herself and everyone else. She blamed her pride for not taking her mothers advice, and finding another person to sustain her love to help her through it. But had she expected any less, it was obvious that everyone Clarke loved died. So maybe turning it off was the best choice. If she couldn't love, those she loved couldn't die.  "Bellamy, I thought that you and Lincoln were leaving for Mount Weather."She was shocked to find him standing waiting for her after her meeting with Lexa. "You should've left already, after all we don't have time for you to be wasting."

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,           I hate myself for lying to you. God do I hate myself for lying to you. For walking away when I should've stayed. We had it all planned out once, didn't we. We went from hating each other in the months after you moved to town, to what most people would call a budding romance. But we were young and stupid. We thought that love would solve all of our problems like some real life fairytale but we both knew that's not how life works.          I left, and I wish I hadn't. But if I'd have stayed, we'd have both been stuck forever in that stupid town working dead end jobs. We'd have been horribly stuck, but sometimes I wonder if being stuck and married, would've been better than being setting each other free and living out our own lives.         God I love you, I still love you. Even after walking away, and even now as I'm getting ready to go marry some one else. I love him too. Or at least something akin to love, I'm not sure if it's in the same way as I loved you, or if it's a lust based on feelings that I've tried to bury.           I miss you, almost as much as I love you. And even though it feels like I'm betraying you like I'm stealing every tiny piece of trust you've ever offered me by going through with this, I need it, because maybe this is what it'll take to make me stop thinking about the way your lips felt on mine, because even now. I still miss the way you used to kiss me. And the way I could wake up next to you and lay there for hours.           Damnit all, why do I have to be doing this now? I'm sitting her in my wedding dress, writing a letter to my ex-fiance like an idiot child with a crush she let get away. Probably because even now years later, I still have that crush.           But I can't keep living in the past like I want to, and it's time for me to let you go. We were kids and what we had was special, but we don't have it anymore.                                                                       Clarke.wxshless, prxncessxx (tagging you for obvious reasons)

                      "-- A glass of Coke, please."

"We were always better without the feelings anyway."She spoke, turning from him to walk away, the engagement ring glistening on her finger in a ray of sunlight. It was funny, when she'd come to him, she'd wanted him to convince her to run, to leave all of this behind. But the more she thought about it, the worse that idea began to sound. "I'm sorry."

My dearest knight,               Under the circumstances I think it should be fair that I owe you an explanation for my treachery. I lied to you, I demeaned you, I degraded you.... All because of my father. He threatened to have you killed if I did not stay away, and I thought---I thought I could save you, by pushing you away from me. But I couldn't, as you are sitting down in the dungeons awaiting the moment when my father will swing the blade that takes you from me. And I'm scared. I have never been more afraid for my life, for my sanity.                 What is happening is wrong... But I cannot stop it. I cannot do a thing to save you and it makes me feel so damn helpless. I love you. Before my own life, I love you. With every fiber of my soul, I love you and I will always love you. I have one last plan to save your life, but in order to avoid being stopped it will not be disclosed within this letter.                  Just know this, that if my father swings that blade, and I lose you, there will be no heir to the throne of Ark. I will not marry, I will not take my place upon the throne he sat on. If you die, I die with you.                                                         With all my love,                                                                 Clarke

Air almost escaped her entirely as she felt his fingers running over the various different crisscrossed marks across her back. Nimble gentle fingers, running over scars from the lashing she'd recieved for being against her fathers laws. She hadn't meant for him to see them. In fact, she hadn't meant for him to even be there. She'd heard her fathers edict. He was offering up his head on a silver platter just by being there.                "You have to go, Bellamy. I can't do this anymore. I can't do us anymore."She took in a deep breath, steadying herself, for the lie that would kill her inside. "You were a fun distraction, while it lasted. But I don't love you. I never have, and I don't think I ever could."