#wwreq

The doctor explains how you hit your head to the side of the road because of some irresponsible cyclist going too fast, eventually bumping into you and then fell down on you after losing his balance. Your body doesn’t sustain any major injury, but your head has taken the fall for colliding into the stone brick firsthand.

“Is it…bad?” he asks, his mind busy recalling the few stuffs he’s read about amnesia even though he has never actually learned it himself.

“Apparently, she forgets the events of the last few months to almost a year before,” the doctor patiently answers. “It’s all a blur, she tells me. But she doesn’t completely forget everything, just that she forgets a lot of details.”

After another half an hour of telling Wonwoo stuffs that he thinks the guy should know, the doctor finally leaves, telling him to take care and ‘have strength’ because you can still have your memory back even though it might take a few months at least.

He sits down on the chair next to your bed, looking at you as he wonders why did you not ask to call for Chaeyoung. Though it wouldn’t make any difference, Wonwoo thinks. He knows the girl is back in Australia for the semester break and he could only imagine what she’d do if she finds out.

He sighs, figuring he’d have to notify her too one way or another.

[01:03 AM] Jeon Wonwoo: SOS. Text me when you’re available to talk.

[05:54 AM] Park Chaeyoung: ??? r u drunk

[05:54 AM] Park Chaeyoung: is2g if you’re making up shit

This is going to be one long semester break.

“What the fuck do you mean she lost her memories?” Chaeyoung curses from the other end.

“I mean just that,” Wonwoo sighs in annoyance, though he does feel bad for her. “Apparently, she asks for me and that’s why I’m here.”

“Why on earth would she ask for you?”

“How am I supposed to know?” he huffs, slightly lifting up the curtain to see the sun barely up. It’s somewhere around 6 in the morning, Wonwoo has just woken up from his uncomfortable sleep with his neck and waist screaming in pain from sleeping on a chair. When he comes to, he checks his phone only to see Chaeyoung replying to his text and figures he should deliver the news and be done with it. “She probably doesn’t remember she hates me.”

On the other line, Chaeyoung goes silent and Wonwoo lets her be. He knows this kind of news isn’t easy to take, even more when she’s literally in another continent and can’t just come back to help the person she considers her own sister.

Before neither of them can say anything more, you groan in your sleep, making Wonwoo turn to you. He quickly tells Chaeyoung that you’re waking up, and he can hear her sniffles a little before softly asking him to take care of you, the softest she has ever spoken to him. So Wonwoo says yes and hangs up.

Wonwoo keeps quiet for a moment, just in case you’re going to go back to sleep right after. But you sluggishly open your eyes, eventually looking up at him as you try to sit on your bed. Wonwoo comes closer to help you, avoiding your eyes because he’s never been this close to you before and it’s flustering him for no reason at all.

“How are you feeling?” he decides to say and sits down on the chair near you. “Head okay?”

You nod a little, thanking him when he hands you water to drink. “You’re… Wonwoo, right?”

There’s an unexpected sting in him at your question and your unsure gaze. It must’ve been frustrating, knowing you should know this and that but you don’t. “Yeah. They called me but you’re already sleep when I arrived.”

“I’m… I’m sorry if we’re not close or anything,” you fidget, and Wonwoo actually feels bad seeing you so… small. This isn’t you; you’re supposed to roll your eyes at him, glare at him when you can’t come up with a good come back, or give him that annoying triumphant grin when you get the last words. “But you’re the first name that rings in my head so I ask the nurse for you.”

There’s an awkward smile in his face, but Wonwoo tries his best to hold it back so you won’t be even more uncomfortable because, even though he never experiences it himself for obvious reasons, he knows it must’ve been scary to you. You don’t even know who he is, but now you’re looking at him like he’s the only one that can help.

“It’s okay,” he reassures you. “Are you really okay? Should I call for the nurse?”

“Just a little lightheaded,” you tell him honestly. So Wonwoo does exactly that, all the while listening carefully to what the nurse says when she’s examining you.

Not long after that, your doctor comes in to check up on you. He says something about not being too worried, because it might be short-term and you might get your memories back sooner rather than later. You look scared, Wonwoo notices, but he can see you visibly relax when you catch his eyes and he sends you an encouraging smile.

“I… need to go back and wash up,” he tells you after the doctor leaves. You look at him with uncertainty, as if afraid to be left alone without him by your side. It’s not a look that Wonwoo would ever imagine coming from you to him, but his heart warms a little at it. “I’ll be quick, I promise. And then I’ll come back and we can talk about stuffs that might help you jog your memory back, okay?”

You nod, because you also feel bad for keeping Wonwoo here when, by the looks of it, he’s not even your closest friend or anything. You’re sure he’d freak out more if he was your close friend or, dare you assume, boyfriend. But Wonwoo is calm and has just looked more confused and a little uncomfortable.

At least he looks like he wants to help, you think to yourself.

Wonwoo stays true to his words, already appearing back in your room not an hour later, and takes the seat near your bed.

“Okay, um…” he begins hesitantly. “What do you want to know first?”

“We aren’t close, are we?” you shoot straight to it, the most certain you’ve ever been since you come to.

“Well, no, I wouldn’t say,” he answers truthfully. “We go to the same med school, share some classes, umm… We… talk from time to time, but not to the point where we’re close.”

For now, he decides that’s the best he can tell you. You already look scared and lost as it is, there’s no use in telling you the nature of your relationship. He’s been thinking about it during the short while he’s not in the hospital; how much shittier would you feel if you find out the first person that you seek isn’t even your…friend?

“How did we meet?” you ask curiously. You wonder if you used to have a crush on Wonwoo before and are just too shy to do anything about it. Surely, if someone like him is in your class he would at least serve as your eye candy, right? Plus, he’s kind enough to accompany you like this when you’re just…acquaintance, apparently.

Wonwoo chuckles awkwardly, remembering how that’s exactly why you both went down the wrong road, still going at each other’s throat until this very moment.

“I, uhh, I wasn’t looking and you were in a hurry so we kinda bumped into each other and I might’ve spilled my coffee all over you,” he scratches his head, unsure how this version of you would take it.

Surprisingly, you let out a small laugh that sends a handful of butterflies in his stomach. “What a meeting. Your impression must’ve been strong to me.”

He shifts in his seat uncomfortably, then changes the topic just so you won’t start asking about how it goes from there. He talks about the little things he knows of Chaeyoung, someone that you also only remember by name, and then promises to video call her when you’re ready, and he talks about school stuffs, some you recall, though mostly not.

“Have you checked your phone?” he asks, only know realizing your phone is intact on the table.

“No,” you look down to your lap. “I’m… afraid.”

“Because you might not remember everything?” he asks pitifully. All this time, the only side of you that Wonwoo’s familiar with is your snarky side; one that’s skeptical and confident, not unsure and afraid like this. Seeing you like this is weird, not because he’s not used to it, but because he can feel something stirring inside him at the sight of your hunched figure.

At your nod, Wonwoo offers to accompany you look through it if you want, that he would try to help if he can even though he might not be much of help if it’s not about friends from school. So you agree, and Wonwoo is able to help more than he thinks he could; he’s able to tell you about the class you enjoy most and ones that you don’t really care for, able to tell you about your habit of drinking iced (‘it has to be iced, I’ve never seen you with anything hot,’ he says) coffee for your first class no matter what time it starts, able to tell you about some friends that you’d sometimes hang out with.

“You do know quite a lot about me, huh?” you ask jokingly, not knowing the way Wonwoo’s heart jolts at this particular tone you usually use at him everytime you beat him on Professor Jung’s exam. He can vividly picture it in his head, the way you’d walk past his table to say something along the line of ‘looks like someone’s barely passing, huh?’.

Wonwoo knows what makes his heart jumps isn’t only that, though, it’s the fact that he doesn’t even realize he knows this much about you. Has he actually been paying attention to you?

He shakes the thought away, and the nurse comes in with your lunch just in time to stop your conversation. There’s watermelon on your fruit plate, and you hand it to him because you don’t like it. Wonwoo scoots closer to your bed, eating your fruit as you talk some more over your lunch.

It is only when you’ve finished eating that Wonwoo realizes he actually likes this—talking to you over meals with no hostility in between.

He wonders if it’d be like this if he’d just said sorry that time and helped you clean up instead of fighting you back.

A week later, you’re already discharged from the hospital with Wonwoo in tow.

“You ready to go home?” he asks, and the sentence feels more intimate for no reason at all that Wonwoo averts his gaze from you to his phone almost immediately.

“Can’t stay here forever, can I?” you ask back, which makes him chuckle at the spark of familiarity. Being with you almost 24/7 for a week, Wonwoo has learned that your sarcastic way of speaking is just the way you normally speak.

When you both arrive in your apartment (Wonwoo gets the passcode from Chaeyoung who shares the apartment with you), the space suddenly feels too big for you and it’s overwhelming. It’s also sad, because this place used to be your home, it should be familiar—and even though it doesn’t feel foreign, it doesn’t feel like home right now.

You roam around to your room, and then peek through Chaeyoung’s from the door, hoping something will hit you, but nothing really stands out and it’s more than frustrating.

“Hey, don’t force it too much,” Wonwoo finally says after a while, noticing the way your fingers are digging into your palms. “How about we video call Chaeyoung now? Didn’t you say you want to go home first before finally calling her?”

You turn to Wonwoo who’s standing near the sofa, and you nod before sitting down there with him. “She… she won’t be mad that I don’t remember her, right?”

“Oh, [Y/N],” he calls your name gently. “She’s literally your closest friend here, okay? And she’s been so worried that she texts me everyday to make sure you’re okay. She’s been wanting to call you too, but she’s refrained from doing so because I told her you’re not ready yet.”

For the next two hours, Wonwoo simply watches you talk to Chaeyoung from the side. At first, the both of you are crying—Chaeyoung, because she’s too worried, and you, because Chaeyoung is crying—and Wonwoo’s pretty sure he would’ve mocked you for it if this was the old you, but right now he just feels bad and he comes to the conclusion that he doesn’t like seeing you cry.

Not the tiniest bit.

He has to hold himself back from wiping your tears, settling for handing you tissues and a glass of water instead.

“I’m okay, I promise,” you tell her when the call is about to end, relieved that you don’t completely forget about some memories Chaeyoung has been sharing with you. “Just a little dizzy now, maybe because you help me recall a little. The doctor says it’s normal.”

“We’ll talk some more later or tomorrow, okay?” Wonwoo hears her say. “I have to go in a bit and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Don’t forget to take care!”

You chuckle a little, something at the back of your mind tells you Chaeyoung has always been this kind of friend and you’re relieved at the recollection. “Yes. Wonwoo’s here with me too, so I’ll be okay,” you shyly say, missing the way Wonwoo widens his eyes while Chaeyoung coughs to hide her reaction before eventually hanging up.

“Should we order pizza?” Wonwoo asks before things get awkward. “You know, to celebrate your homecoming?”

You laugh at his choice of words, but nod anyway. Pizza with Wonwoo doesn’t sound so—

“Why are you here?” you frown at Wonwoo, the guy simple shrugs as he annoyingly bites into his pizza. “You don’t even like pizzas!”

“Who says?” he rises his eyebrows. “I loooove pizza. And who am I to say no to Seungkwan’s free food?”

Beside him, someone sends you an apologetic look, mouthing an apology and a promise to make it up for you.

“You invited him, didn’t you?” you turn to someone else.

“Does it matter who invites me?” Wonwoo chirps in. “Just sit down and eat.”

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Wonwoo quickly holds your shoulders as you wince at the sudden wave of memory. “Did you remember something again?”

You weakly nod, the pounding in your head won’t stop and you can barely see Wonwoo’s worried eyes.

“Do you… do you know a Seungkwan?” you ask once the headache dies down.

“I—yeah, he’s, uh, kind of close with everyone,” he answers. “Did you… get to remember him?”

You shake your head, taking the water from his hand. “Not really, no. But, have we… eaten pizzas? With Seungkwan?”

Wonwoo hesitates for a second, but he eventually nods and tells you yes.

He still remembers that day because it’s hasn’t been that long ago; Seungkwan has called some people over for pizza night as a celebration of the semester ending. Wonwoo has told him no at first, telling him he wants to sleep for a week straight and his social battery is practically nonexistent. But when he hears from Mingyu you’re coming, he has quickly made his way over just to bother you even though he doesn’t even feel like eating pizza then.

“It hasn’t been that long ago,” he honestly tells you. “Only 2 weeks ago at most.”

He’s met with silence, there’s a frown on your face as you try to put the puzzles together in your mind. Your words and Wonwoo’s from the memory ring endlessly; are you… not in a good relationship with Wonwoo? But he’s been so kind to you the past week?

He barely even leaves your room if not because of the visiting hour and because he needs to come home and wash up.

That doesn’t make sense at all.

“Do you want to lay down and take a nap maybe?” he asks, still worried. What else could you possibly remember now?

At your nod, Wonwoo helps you to your room, asking you if you still feel like eating pizzas or if he should order something else. But you shake your head and tells him pizza should be fine, that you just need to lay down for a while because your head feels heavy.

When you wake up again, Wonwoo isn’t in your room. You walk out to find him asleep on the sofa, his arms crossed in front of his chest and his head uncomfortably leans back on the head rest. You slowly make your way to sit next to him in hope your weight wouldn’t wake him up; it doesn’t, but Wonwoo grunts before turning a little to you.

There’s a part of you that wants to ask Chaeyoung what’s the nature of your and Wonwoo’s relationship, but would it be too much? Just because of one memory?

But didn’t Wonwoo say it has just been roughly two weeks ago? Then why were you questioning his presence to the point where your friend—Seungkwan? was it? —has to apologize for Wonwoo being there? Didn’t Wonwoo say you were just…acquaintances?

You look up right when Wonwoo’s starting to wake up, he groggily opens his eyes and you don’t even realize you’ve been sitting so close to him that his face is right in front of yours. He blinks a few times, as if trying to figure out why your face is so close to his, but you quickly stand up and walk to the kitchen.

“When did you wake up?” he asks instead with a yawn. “Is your head better?”

“Not too long ago,” You nod at him as you return with the pizza box. “Definitely better. Did I sleep for long?”

Wonwoo looks at his phone before answering you. “Maybe an hour or so. You’re really feeling better?” he asks again, noticing the conflicted expression on your face.

You nod again to reassure him, and when Wonwoo softly mumbles to himself he’s glad you’re feeling better, you decide you’re not going to pry about your relationship with him. However it was between the two of you, it shouldn’t be bad enough if he’s right here with you, right?

If it’s that bad, he wouldn’t continuously try his best to take care of you since day 1, right?

Maybe it was just those friendly fights, you try to convince yourself. Maybe you just enjoyed arguing with him and he, you.

Yeah.

That must be it.

The week after that, Wonwoo says going to school might be a good idea because you spend a lot of time there, and you need to go to administration to officially take a semester break, anyway.

You take a deep breath once you get off the bus with Wonwoo, both hoping you’ll remember and afraid just in case nothing happens.

“You’ll be fine,” Wonwoo squeezes your shoulder. “Don’t force it, okay?”

It’s something that he often says to you, because he knows you often try to force the memory out by staring at something that seemingly important to you. This does nothing but frustrates you and, more often than not, you just end up with a useless headache.

“You’re already remembering a lot too, aren’t you?” he says, reminding you it’s okay to take it slow.

“Yeah, but there are still a lot of missing pieces and sometimes I’d either dream or suddenly think of people with blurry faces,” you pout. “It’s scary.”

“You still have those dreams?” he frowns, you’ve told him about it a couple times before and he remembers how disturbed you are even though it should be a good thing that your memories are coming back little by little.

You nod, absentmindedly linking your arm with his as you walk to the building. Wonwoo blinks at the touch, but doesn’t have the heart to move away nor even comment about it so he lets you be.

He likes it, anyway.

“Oh?” someone exclaims from afar, calling you both loudly as he makes his way to where you’re at. “Well, aren’t you two cozy,” Mingyu grins when he notices the way you’re holding on to Wonwoo.

The sight of Mingyu alone seems to trigger something within you, though, and you stagger back at the sudden wave of pain. Wonwoo quickly puts his arm around your waist to hold your weight, and Mingyu looks at him in panic, not having any idea about your condition.

“Well, don’t you look cozy in your hoodie,” Mingyu says from beside you.

“Don’t you shut up ever?” you glare at Mingyu.

“No. It’s a part of my charm,” he grins shamelessly. “Why? You like the quiet type more?”

You roll your eyes at his words, trying to step away from him. “I like people who’s not associated with Jeon fucking Wonwoo. So, obviously, I don’t like you. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

You walk away from Mingyu, but he quickly catches up, easily falling back into steps with you. “Do you know that you two actually match each other really well? Wouldn’t be surprised if you end up dating once you decided to end this dumb feud.”

“And I wouldn’t be surprised either if my shoe ends up in your mouth,” you glare at him once again.

Mingyu puts his hands up in surrender, though the teasing grin in his face doesn’t falter. “You owe me Chaeyoung’s number if you end up with him!”

“I’m okay,” you say once you’re able to get back to your feet. So many thoughts are swirling in your mind and you’re pretty sure your head doesn’t only hurt because of the memory rush but due to the revelation that you’re still denying.

Are you really in bad terms with Wonwoo…? Wonwoo, who has been with you for almost a month now, taking care of you days and nights? Wonwoo, who makes dumb jokes out of nowhere and never forgets to tell you to slow down and rest?

You look up at his worried face, a frown in his face with his arm protectively around your figure. There’s nothing but worry and concern in his eyes, so why…?

“Should we just go home?” he asks instead, and you can feel the arm around you tightening a little. You glance at Mingyu behind him, too speechless to say anything.

“No, we should at least take care of my break,” you tell him as you try to step away from him a little.

Wonwoo’s face subtly falls at your movement, but he quickly nods and figures you’re just disoriented. He points at where you’re supposed to go, telling you to go first because he needs to talk to Mingyu about something.

Any other day, you would’ve waited for him because he seems to be the only certainty in your blurry life and it’s a little scary to be doing things without him. But today’s not any other day and you actually do need time alone to collect your thoughts no matter how short.

All the time you’ve spent with Wonwoo seems to make you forget Wonwoo wasn’t even your friend when he first came through the hospital door. He was just a classmate, you have assumed—a colleague. He himself said you weren’t close.

You remember wondering about the nature of your relationship with Wonwoo before, and you’ve closed the possibility of him being someone you don’t like because he was, still is, taking care of you earnestly.

Some memories regarding him have been coming back too, if you’re being honest. But you didn’t tell him because you were always arguing with each other in those memories, they didn’t last long enough for you to get the context of it; but almost every fight was childish by nature which is why you have just assumed that’s how your friendship with him was.

But now that you think about it, Wonwoo wouldn’t have been as uncomfortable at first if you’re actually a close enough friends that can argue with each other without getting hurt.

Maybe you’d have to call Chaeyoung tonight.

“Hey, careful!” Wonwoo pulls you to his side, concern written all over his face and it’s only now that you realize you almost bump into the pillar in front of you if not for him. “Are you really okay?”

The worry in his voice is clear, and yet you suddenly doubt everything about him after the episode earlier. You try to rationalize with yourself; even if you were in bad terms with him before, that doesn’t erase the fact that he’s been restlessly taking care of you when no one else could, does it?

Furthermore, doesn’t it just say about how good of a person he actually is if he’s taking care of someone he doesn’t like?

You flinch at the thought. What does he think of you, really?

Should you just ask him instead of calling Chaeyoung?

You don’t realize when Wonwoo moves to face you. But when you do realize, his palms are gently cupping your cheeks to search your eyes thoroughly, and you look back at him, trying to see if there’s any deceit in his eyes. He can’t be faking it to this extend, can he?

What do you know about Wonwoo, anyway?

You frown at the sudden thought. Yes, Wonwoo has been taking care of you greatly all these times, but do you actually know him?

“I’m—I’m fine,” you answer him at last, your hand goes to hold his for a second before letting go. “Let’s just finish this and… I want to go home.”

Wonwoo lets go of you and nods, biting his lips at the way you’re suddenly avoiding his gaze.

Did you remember? But it’s been only roughly a month? Doesn’t it usually take months to recover loss memories?

Most importantly, why does it scare him?

📷

It’s two weeks after that day and you’re still too afraid to confront him. But it is a fact that sometimes you become too conscious around him, and Wonwoo probably notices this even though he doesn’t say anything about it.

Even so, his genuine concern and the way he earnestly takes care of you still brings butterflies to your stomach, often prompting your heart to run a little faster than normal when he’s too close and his fingers slightly brush yours.

It is only when Wonwoo texts you he can’t come today because he’s promised Mingyu a long time ago to go somewhere with him on semester break, that you realize you’re almost always with Wonwoo ever since you woke up from that concussion.

You try to count back to the day of the small accident; it’s been roughly a month since then and the few times you spent your day without him can be counted with your fingers. Almost everyday he’s by your side even when he doesn’t need to—like when you met up with Seungkwan in hope he’ll be able to jog something within you, or when you went to the places Chaeyoung has mentioned to be your favorites, even when it’s midnight and you couldn’t sleep because the blurry faces are haunting you.

You still remember that night vividly even when you fell asleep without you knowing. You woke up because of another blurry memories, head pounding and heart beating fast out of fear. It was hard to fall back asleep after that, so you had texted him just to see if he’s awake—and he was.

He called you almost immediately, talked to you on the phone about this game he’s been obsessing over and how you should try it, about how Soonyoung, his roommate, had been nagging him because he’s always at your place and that meant Soonyoung had no one to accompany him eat during dinner. He had just laughed it off, though, and you can still remember how your heart fluttered when Wonwoo jokingly said he’d rather eat with you than his roommate, anyway.

That went on until somewhere around 2 in the morning, with you falling asleep somewhere along the way. You wake up to Wonwoo’s text telling you to call him if the nightmare comes back.

You sigh to yourself. Why is the whole thing with Wonwoo so complicated? Why can’t you just pretend this is how it’s meant to be and accept your feeling towards him regardless of how it was before when you couldn’t even remember?

But you know it’s not that easy—know that Wonwoo knows how it was before and you’re not sure what to make of him being aware of your supposedly ‘bad’ relationship while still doing…this.

Is he just being kind? Maybe he feels bad about your situation and wants to make up for whatever he did before even when you don’t remember?

The only thing that you know is you don’t dare to assume he’s developing feelings for you like you are for him and you hate yourself for it.

You mess your head out of frustration, walking to the kitchen to see if the fridge has anything that might cheer you up a little. There are three cans of beers, you notice, you haven’t touched alcohol at all since the accident. You hesitate a little before eventually bringing them all out with you to the living room. You don’t even know how much you can drink, but surely you won’t get drunk over canned beers, right?

“What the fuck!” you gasp in shock at the cold beverage against your skin, seeping in through your shirt. “Do you not have eyes or something?”

The guy in front of you looks just as shocked, but quickly frowns when he registers your words. “Isn’t it you who was dashing through the corridor without looking?”

You scoff at his words, eyes throwing daggers at this guy who you don’t even know. “Wow, not even a sorry. What a gentleman.”

“Why should I be sorry when it’s you who bumped into me?” he scoffs back, which irritates you even more because isn’t it you who’s the victim here? Having been drenched in coffee first thing in the morning?

“Jeon Wonwoo!” someone calls from behind you, the guy glances at the name, but quickly turns to lock your gaze again just to annoy you further. Of course, guys with decent looks are always assholes.

“I will fucking remember you, Jeon Wonwoo,” you whisper under your breath before turning to leave. You will get back at him.

“[Y/N]!” Wonwoo calls to you once again, trying to shake you awake on his lap.

That’s how he found you when he comes in, passed out on the floor with empty canned bears on the table. Chaeyoung has worriedly called him earlier, telling him you’re not taking her calls nor checking her messages. It’s 8 in the morning on a Saturday, but Wonwoo quickly goes to your place when you’re not answering his calls either.

“That dumbass,” Chaeyoung has said over the phone when he calls to say you’re passed out most likely from beers. “Her body can’t take alcohol.”

After that, she has told him to prepare your usual hungover remedy and that he should try to wake you up; you’ll probably throw up and he would need to help that, too.

When you wake up, your head’s pounding and your throat is itching. You can hear someone calling you, but not conscious enough to register who. The next thing you know, you’re running to the bathroom to throw your guts up.

Wonwoo worriedly follows you, holding your hair to the side as his other hand rubs your back. His warmth comforts you, but you’re still not done throwing up to properly collect your thoughts.

Once you’re done, Wonwoo leaves to get you aspirin and water while you wash up a little. You warily make your way to the living room after that, taking a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom.

“Here, take this,” he says when you’re close enough, handing you the medicine. “I ordered the hungover stew earlier and it should arrive soon, Chaeyoung says you usually have it after drinking too much.”

You don’t say anything, simply bite the inside of your cheek as you take the aspirin from him. Wonwoo doesn’t seem to notice you silence, too worried out of his mind.

“Why did you even drink?” he frowns at you. “Do you know how worried I was seeing you passed out on the floor?”

You still don’t answer, your mind bursting with thoughts. It is then that Wonwoo realizes you’ve been keeping your words and softly calls your name in confusion.

“Why?” you say for the first time. Wonwoo simply looks at you with a silent question, not getting it. Your head still hurts and you’re probably not in a good enough condition to talk about this, but the sudden surge of bravery is something that you can’t ignore. “Why… have you been helping me?”

His breath turns heavy at your question, already able to put things together by the way you’re talking to him. “Did you… remember?” he asks instead, blunt nails digging into his palms.

You shake your head; your eyes are stinging as you suddenly feel like crying. “I—yes? No, I—I don’t know, maybe? But… but I, I remember our first meeting and a few other arguments and—”

Wonwoo quickly stands up to embrace you as you gasp for air and tears flood your eyes. He can feel the way your fingers are gripping his shirt as you cry, probably too overwhelmed with everything.

You’re not sure what comforts you the most: is it his arms around you? Or is it the way he’s whispering comfort to your ear? Or is it the way his hand is endlessly caressing your hair?

Once your tears die down, Wonwoo leans back a little to see your face. Something inside him twists at your puffed eyes and the way you’re hiccupping after crying far too long for his liking. He gently sits you down on the sofa, handing you water.

“Do you want to talk about it now?” he asks, there’s no use in hiding it anymore if you remember everything—at least the part about him—now.

You nod shakily, a little disappointed at the way Wonwoo’s sitting further than he usually does, though you get that he might be doing that for you.

He explains everything as best as he can, how he knows it must’ve been scary for you and how it would do you no good if the first person you seem to recall enough turns to be your enemy. He talks about how, at first, he takes care of you because he feels bad, but it wasn’t out of pity—he can tell you were scared and frustrated, and he doesn’t wish for you to go through this alone no matter how it was between the two of you before.

You listen to every single one of his words, heart stinging a little when he says he’s doing it because he feels bad. Who are you kidding? Of course, that’s why, the only reason there’s even an opening for you to feel something for him was because you have lost a chunk of your memories. Else, now you know it would be the same between the two of you.

The thought doesn’t comfort you, though. You think once you remember for sure what’s the nature of your relationship with him, everything would be clear to you.

And you definitely don’t think that, once you remember how bad it was between the two of you, the feeling that you’ve developed over the month would stay. You’ve never imagined you’d crave for his proximity, wish for him to continue talk to you like he usually would during the time he was taking care of you.

Would he back away from you now that you remember about him?

“Please don’t think I’m treating you like a charity case,” his words cut through your train of thoughts. “I’m—yes, at first I just felt bad, but now I’m just taking care of you because I want to, okay?”

“What—what do you mean by that?” you shakily ask, heart beating so hard that you can hear it loud and clear.

Wonwoo hesitates for a moment before eventually dives for it. “I… I don’t want to go back to how it was between us before just because you remember.”

“I… don’t want to either,” you whisper softly, making his breath caught in his throat. “I—I like being with you, Wonwoo.”

There’s a teasing smile in his face, but you can tell that his eyes are genuine without a hint of jokes. “Confessing already, are we?”

You chuckle a little at his attempt to lighten the mood, hitting his arm slightly which makes Wonwoo finally smiles at you, too.

“Just kidding. I like being with you too,” he genuinely says as he meets your eyes. “We really just started off the wrong way and refused to give each other a chance, huh?”

“How stupid, right?” you say with a laugh. “Takes me a concussion to give you a chance.”

For a moment, silence envelopes the both of you as you stare into each other’s eyes. There’s a quiet understanding between the two of you; how he’ll still be there to help you recover more of your memories, how you agree to let go of that first meeting, and how you both would slowly go through the path in front of you together after this.

It’s quiet and it’s comfortable, so you bask in his gaze and he, yours. What finally breaks the silence between the two of you is Wonwoo’s phone ringing to notify an incoming text. He looks at it, and then tells you your stew has arrived downstairs.

“I’ll just… go get it,” he says as he stands up. “Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

You laugh at his remarks, his mind probably stopped working after the emotional outburst earlier because he doesn’t even realize what he’s just said. You hold back the urge to be sarcastic, instead nodding at him with a smile that sends butterfly flying in his stomach.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

The way their heads turn to you, including Seungcheol’s, is almost comical.

“When did you arrive?!” your boyfriend asks, already on your side with a few strides. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Uhh, not long ago. Your manager helps me in,” you smile sheepishly, and then you show him the bag you’ve been holding since earlier. “I brought kimbap?”

“Pretty and caring, I approve,” Jeonghan says from the side with an appreciative nod, taking the bag from you. “Are you guys just going to stand there instead of welcoming or newest in-law here?”

You can feel your neck getting warm from the title, and Seungcheol shakes his head at Jeonghan, used to his antics. He sends you an apologetic glance, but you just smile because it’s somewhat amusing even to you. Eventually, Seungcheol introduces you to everyone, telling them not take their jokes too far because Shua is already singing you praises for being a good in-law by bringing in food.

“Where did you buy these?” Mingyu asks, moaning at the kimbap in his mouth. “These are so good.”

“Uhh, I made them myself,” you scratch your neck, a bit embarrassed but glad that the members seem to enjoy the food. “I’m glad you liked it.”

Soonyoung says something with cheeks stuffed with food, his voice is muffled but you guess it’s something along the line of ‘you’re not allowed to break up with hyung now, ok?’ and you just laugh in embarrassment at their compliments over kimbap.

“They’re not always this rowdy, I promise,” Seungcheol whispers to your ear. “Probably just excited to meet you because they’ve been asking to meet you too.”

“You talk about me to them?” you ask, surprised but pleasantly so.

He nods as if it’s obvious, biting into his own share of kimbap before replying. “Of course. Why would I not? We’ve been dating for months.”

“More like he never shuts up about you,” Jeonghan chirps in from beside you. “Nothing bad, though. Thanks for taking care of our Coups.”

Shua nods from the side, making Seungcheol rolls his eyes at the duo. “We know he could be a lot, so we’re glad you’re hanging in there with him.”

“Would it be okay if I want to go out for a while?” you ask.

Jihoon turns at this, sighing at his work. “I’d love to, baby, but I still need to get this done first.”

You bite down your lip, picking your words carefully. “Can I go out with Soonyoung, then?” you ask, mentioning your brother even though you’re not sure if he’s free.

“What do you want to do, anyway?” he leans back on his seat, looking at you with something that is close to annoyance.

“I, uh,” you hesitate, suddenly feeling stupid for bringing it up. What on earth is your hormone doing? “I’m craving for ice cream,” you continue, your voice getting gradually getting smaller.

“I can’t hear you, you know?” he asks patiently, though his tone is on edge as he glance at his screen once again before turning his gaze back to you.

You repeat your words once again, voice even smaller than before. Jihoon takes a deep breath, willing himself not to get mad at you because he knows he’ll regret it immediately. But the miscommunication that has been happening within his team that he’s yet to fix all is getting even more annoying and it’s getting into him more than he’d like to admit.

“Can you repeat that once again?” he tries again.

You’re pretty sure it’s just your hormone acting up, but his annoyed tone and tired sigh stings something within you and you suddenly feel like crying. So, you decide to shake your head and hope your baby would forgive you for not eating that ice cream as you make your way back to your bedroom.

Sitting down on the furthest part of the bed from the door, you try to hold back your tears, try to tell yourself that Jihoon’s just tired and he’s tried his best not to lash at you, that there’s no reason to cry over him sounding annoyed when it’s probably his coworkers he’s annoyed at, not you.

Still, it’s hard to believe it when you’ve heard his sigh and exhausted tone when talking to you.

When the first tear falls, you quickly wipe it with your hand only to have Jihoon kneels down in front of you and take your face in his hands.

He frowns at the tears, his thumbs catching them as you try to calm yourself down. He doesn’t say anything and neither do you, but eventually he moves to sit beside you and engulf you in his embrace, which only makes you cry harder for no reason at all.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your head. “I made you question yourself, didn’t I?”

You wrap your arms around him, shaking your head. You’re pretty sure it’s just your messed up hormones making you extra sensitive, but Jihoon has always been perceptive even if he’s a little late at times.

“I’m sorry I made you cry, hm?” he leans back a little, just enough to see your face.

“No,” you hoarsely say after your tears die down. “I’m—I’m just a little sensitive, it’s not your fault.”

“Still, I should’ve tried to listen to you.” He gives you a small smile, sweeping your hair back to see you properly. “Mind telling me what you were going to say earlier?”

“I was craving for pistachio ice cream,” you say once again, looking down at your belly.

Jihoon follows your gaze and lets out a chuckle.

“Didn’t you just eat like, half an hour ago?” he asks, amused. “Our baby has quite the appetite, huh?”

“Wonder where he gets that from,” you smile at last, making him smile also.

Leaning forward to drop a kiss on your forehead, Jihoon stands up and pulls you with him right after. “Let’s go get that ice cream then. My work can wait, it’s not my fault they’re dumb.”

You seem uncertain for a moment, but Jihoon quickly sends you that look and you know not to question him. So, you take the jacket he’s handing you and take his hand in yours before following his step. There’s no better mood for ice cream than this.

Yet, Seokmin was too afraid to give you that; the thought of the crazy share of his (and your) fans finding out about your relationship and what they’d do to you scares him too much even though his members, and even managers, have tried to convince him that it’s okay and he should take his shot at happiness—that he doesn’t need to sacrifice his feelings, let alone you, just because he’s afraid, that they’d try their best to help and he’d have less things to worry about.

But of course Seokmin simply told them that he’d think about it, that he’s happy with how things were and you didn’t seem to mind the blurry lines because the exclusivity between the two of you were clear regardless.

That it should be enough for now.

He sighs at the memories, wondering once again why he was so stupid for letting things turn this way. He should’ve listened to Minghao when the guy said the insecurity would come sooner or later if he didn’t explicitly tell you about his feelings. That, even though his actions might seem like they should be enough to convince you, some people also need to hear words of assurance to know for sure that they’re not reading too much into things, nor is it one-sided.

He snaps out of it when he hears the familiar sound of your voice from behind, then quickly hides himself to the corridor in hope you’d be too busy talking to notice him hiding in plain sight.

“—didn’t he ask for your number?” he hears Somi ask, which you just awkwardly laugh in return. “I heard from Sejeong he’s pretty nice.”

Seokmin frowns at the implication of all this, it’s been a month and Somi is already pushing you to meet someone new? And who asked for your number? Did you give it to him? You probably did, if only because you’re not sure how to turn people down. At least he knows your awkward laugh means you’re in no rush to respond to whoever that guy is.

He moves a little to take a glimpse of you, your hesitant smile is the only thing he’s able to catch in the split second you pass by the corridor where he’s hiding himself at. He’s pretty sure it hasn’t been that long since he last saw you, yet he couldn’t help but feel like the time he spends not seeing your smile is much too long for his liking.

He couldn’t hear what you’re saying, but he catches the disapproving noise Somi makes before she, too, gets away from his earshot as she moves further with you in tow.

“It’s about time you try to forget him. Seokmin isn’t going to…”

The frown on his face deepens at her unfinished words; he isn’t going to what? What does she know about him, anyway? But, then again, Somi’s probably just cheering you up being the close friend that she is. And whose fault is it that Somi even has to cheer you up?

“Excuse me?”

Jumping at the voice, he blinks up only to see Somi herself in front of him. Wasn’t she with you just now?

“Oh, sorry,” he steps away so she can go through, holding back the urge to ask how you’re doing.

The younger girl stares at him unimpressed, looking left and right to make sure no one’s around before she shoots straight to the point. “Look, if you don’t have any plan on fixing whatever you did, then can you please leave my friend alone?”

“I’m—I’m sorry?”

Somi sighs, clearly frustrated at the situation in hand. “She probably doesn’t notice because she’s too deep in her own bubble, but I know you’ve been lurking around whenever you can. I don’t get it—why don’t you just apologize and explain to her if you can’t even stand not looking at her when she’s nearby?”

“It’s… not that simple,” he lamely answers.

“Why didn’t you properly ask her out if you’re going to be like this?” she demands, and Seokmin can tell that she’s not doing this because she’s simply curious. Her stance is protective, and he knows from you that Somi has never been the type to meddle unless she knows her loved ones need it. He wonders if how you react to the separation leads to this point; has it been hard on you like it has for him? Are you… still struggling?

He doesn’t get to answer though, because Jihoon’s calling for him, saying it’s his turn to have his hair and makeup done. Somi turns to greet Jihoon and gives him a small smile before she leaves, giving Seokmin one last pointed look as she turns around. Her words stay in his mind though. Does this mean he still has the chance to try and fix things between you and him?

“You haven’t been getting much sleep, have you?” the make up artist asks as she puts on the base on his face. Seokmin doesn’t really answer, but the sheepish smile he’s trying to give her tells enough. “Something bothering you? You look more tired than usual.”

“Just… something personal,” he softly says, blankly staring at the mirror. He does look like he doesn’t want to be here.

“Problem in paradise?” she carefully brings up, mentioning your name in passing. Seokmin looks up at her in surprise, meeting her eyes in the mirror. “My sister actually works for her and she says she hasn’t been looking good either. I know you two have something going on.”

He doesn’t say anything though, unsure what to say to her either. But then she says something about how her sister tells her that some idols—and even staff—have been lurking outside your waiting room, some of them brave enough to ask for your number when you step outside to go to the restroom.

“Doesn’t she share waiting room with Somi or a small girl group?” He finally takes the bait, a mix of annoyance and worry swirling in his chest.

“Probably why they only do it once she steps out,” the makeup artist shrugs, though she also shares that you don’t go anywhere alone now. Maybe that’s why Somi was with you earlier even though she’s finished with her rehearsal.

Seokmin stays silent at this, deep in his own thought that the makeup artist has to tap his shoulder a few times later on to tell him she’s done with him. When he thanks her and is just about to stand up from his seat, she helpfully tells him half the members aren’t going to be done until an hour or so, that he probably has time to wander around or something if he wants.

So Seokmin does exactly just that, telling his manager that he’s going to step out for a bit to see a friend and that he’ll only be a call away if they need him.

He takes a deep breath before going downstairs to the studio, knowing you’re on stand by because it’s almost your turn to record. He finds you at the backstage almost right away, standing awkwardly on your own. His eyes find your manager a little off your side, busy talking on the phone that he assumes to be urgent because he knows, your manager wouldn’t be that far off you else.

It’s only when he gets closer that he realizes someone’s standing near you, obviously trying to talk to you even though all you do is smile politely at him. Seokmin doesn’t even recognize the guy, not even sure if he’s an idol or a solo or whatever—he might even be a staff for all he knows. What he’s sure of is he doesn’t like the coy stance the guy has on when you look evidently uncomfortable in his presence.

He sees the way the guy steps closer, and Seokmin decides he has to step in before you get even more uncomfortable.

“Hey,” his deep voice greets you instead of his usual cheery tone, protectively standing behind you as he turns to the guy and politely smiles at him though the disdain in his eyes is clear to anyone.

The guy eyes Seokmin as if sizing him up, and when Seokmin realizes he’s not going to back off just because he’s here, he hesitantly wraps his arm around your waist to pull you closer against him, though all kind of worries thrown out the window when you immediately lean back to his warmth to seek comfort.

“Your friend?” he asks in mock politeness, his voice tighter than he thought it would be.

“Oh… um,” you exclaim hesitantly, not sure how to title this man in front of you. “He’s the newest addition to the PD staffs…?”

“Yeah, man. Just making sure all is fine before she goes on stage,” he shrugs in all pretentiousness, introducing himself to Seokmin as if they’d be friends after this.

“Good to know the security is more heightened now,” Seokmin plays his games, the arm around your waist moves to your shoulder instead and you feel him squeeze your arm in reassurance. “Always worried something would happen to my girlfriend when I’m not around, you know?”

Seokmin feels you tense and, for a moment, he worries that he might’ve taken it too far. But you relax not long after, smiling up at him as you tell him not to worry. He wonders if you can feel his heart about to burst out of his chest by the way your back is pressed against him, but the sweet smile you’ve given him earlier is enough to calm him down if only a little, making his heart beat faster for different reasons.

The PD seems to get the message and eventually grumbles as he steps away, muttering something that you both don’t quite register.

“Girlfriend, huh?” you ask after you’re sure he’s out of earshot, the teasing smile on your face fails to cover your wavering tone and the hesitance in your eyes.

“Only if you don’t mind,” he says shyly, the arm around your waist finally falls back to his side.

Just then, your manager returns to tell you it’s finally your turn to record, and then nods to Seokmin in greeting and tells him it’s been some time since he sees the guy. If he notices the proximity between the two of you, he doesn’t say anything about it.

So you catch Seokmin’s eyes one more time before you follow your manager, asking him a silent question about whether or not he means what he says earlier.

“We’ll talk later after the recording?” he asks, a little hesitant, but could never be more glad he does when you nod and offer him a small, giddy smile, telling him you’ll text him later once you’re done and that you’ll be waiting until he finishes his own recording.

Maybe it’s not too late to fix things after all.

He shrugs nonchalantly, enjoying your tendency to be dramatic everytime you find out about yet another point of interest that goes against each other’s preference.

“They just… taste weird,” he scrunches his nose. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the smell and the texture.”

“You literally eat smelly tofu with Jun.”

“It was one time!”

“And you brought me with you!”

“In my defense, I didn’t know Jun was bringing us to that place,” he says back. “He just asked if I was up for… new experiences and so I thought why not bring you with me if you’re free?”

You visibly cringe at the memory, teeth gritting together though there’s something fond bubbling inside your chest. It is a memorable event, after all, and it’s still funny no matter how many times you think about it.

It was just last month when Wonwoo had called you out of nowhere, not that it’s really surprising because ever since that meeting in the cat cafe two months ago, you’ve been considerably spending a lot of time with Wonwoo.

To be honest, when Wonwoo had asked for your number, you didn’t think a guy like him would text you almost immediately. You assumed he’d take a few days, maybe even a week; but he had texted you that night just to tell you it’s his number and to wish you a good night.

And if you’re being completely honest, you wouldn’t answer if this hadn’t been Wonwoo—but his impression is actually quite something and you find yourself intrigued to say the least.

You’re blaming his glasses and the sharp eyes behind those lenses for that.

After that, you’ve gone on three more dates prior to this one, plus that trip to Chinatown with Junhui. You were just lazing around when Wonwoo had called to ask if you’re free, and you pretended to be checking your empty schedules when he asked if you’d like to come with him and his friend just so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself and say yes immediately.

“Well, at least now I know not to believe Jun when he wants to… uh, share new experiences with me,” you say jokingly, earning a laugh from Wonwoo.

“Where should we go next?” he asks before continuing his meal.

“Huh?” you ask with pure confusion in your tone. “I thought we agreed to end it here?”

Wonwoo looks at you with bored eyes, asking you to drop it already. “I’ll buy you all the seafood you want. I’d just not eat them. Isn’t that good? More food for you?”

“You have your ways with words huh,” you narrow your eyes at him. “Okay. I’ll give you one more date before I decide if I really want to date you.”

The sound of his soft chuckle greets your ears and you can’t help but bite back your own grin at the way he mutters something along the way of ‘yes, yes. thank you for the chance, your highness’. It’s just so easy to flirt with Wonwoo and you’re glad he indulges you even when you’re being ridiculous. It’s your mission to find out the limit of stupidity he’s willing to indulge for you.

“Anything you’d like to do?” he asks, remembering the last few places you went to are all his choices.

“I want dessert,” you hum to yourself. “Something sweet. Maybe cakes? Or puddings.”

“Oh,” he softly exclaims, looking at you with that look.

“Won…” you whine, already knowing where this is going. “Don’t tell me you don’t like desserts?”

He just grins sheepishly, though you can immediately detect the amused glint in his eyes as he looks at you.

“I’m just not into swe—”

“Finish that sentence, I dare you.”

“What do you want to bake? Cookies?” you ask as your fingers play with the short hair on his nape. It’s clear to Mingyu that you’re sleepy from the way your eyes are a little unfocused and your breathy voice.

“Dunno,” he shrugs. “Anything you want? Cakes?”

“I just want to stay here in your arms doing nothing.”

Mingyu laughs at your words, how did you manage to say that and not sound cheesy? Then again, he’s probably biased and unashamedly so.

“Okay, then,” he says, pulling you closer to his embrace. “No baking, it is.”

Nodding your head, you let out a satisfied noise at the way Mingyu’s hand goes under your shirt and rubs your back. There’s nothing like his touch that brings you so much comfort even when it does nothing.

You’re getting sleepier as the clock ticks by and his touch only encourages it more. You’re not complaining though, spending the weekend napping in Mingyu’s arms would never sound like a bad idea.

Mingyu stares at the way your eyes are dropping and sleep starting to catch up with you, the fingers that was playing with the hair on his nape have stopped too. The sunlight from the window hits your face just right—not too blinding that it’s annoying; just enough that he can appreciate your face better because of the light.

He thinks it’s the most beautiful scenery he’s ever laid his eyes on.

“I’m going to marry you someday,” he whispers gently. The thought warms his heart beyond control.

“Hm?” you open your eyes sleepily, not catching what he said.

He simply smiles, shaking his head before he kisses your forehead and lulls you back to sleep.

Sighing to himself, he nods before he sits back down as he cracks his neck. One more patient shouldn’t take that long. He doesn’t even look at the clipboard the nurse gave him, it’s probably another case of cold and fever. With the season getting colder, a lot of his patients have been having cold cases.

“Oh…?” the patient exclaims when the door opens, her voice strangely familiar.

Wonwoo looks up to see his girlfriend blinking continuously at him. “But I asked for Dr. Choi…?”

“You’re sick?” Wonwoo frowns, worry quickly filling his system. “And why didn’t you come to me?”

You smile guiltily at the nurse, though he seems to understand you’re not just a patient to Wonwoo. You sigh as you walk to the seat in front of his desk. You didn’t mean to come here, not wanting Wonwoo to worry; but the insurance from your company is only claimable if you go to this hospital and another one that’s two hours away. So, you have just wished Wonwoo would be too busy or off work when you’re here with another doctor.

“Because you’d worry too much,” you tell him. Well, no use hiding it anymore, now. “Did Dr. Choi send me to you?”

“Yes, he’s got a call from one of the professors,” he quickly answers, his posture turning straight. Wonwoo searches for your face, he can tell for sure you’re a bit pale than usual and you definitely seem much too lethargic for his own liking. “What are your symptoms?”

You blow out your cheeks, reluctantly telling Wonwoo you’ve been lightheaded for a few days now and got a little warm last night.

Wonwoo frowns even more, not liking the situation one bit. He knows you’ve always been rather independent, but does it need to be this extend? He keeps it to himself for now, not wanting to debate with you in his work place in front of the nurse.

“Go lay down so I can check on you,” he says, not meeting your eyes. Truthfully, you feel a bit guilty that Wonwoo has to find out this way. It’s not like you’re trying to hide it from him, but you figure Wonwoo’s been having a lot of patients than usual these days and you think you’d tell him if it gets worse after this doctor visit.

Who thought you’d end up with him in this room now?

As he goes to exam you, you don’t dare to meet his eyes. You can tell that he’s upset and he’s rightfully so, you’d be upset too if Wonwoo’s sick and didn’t tell you anything.

“I’ll prescribe you some meds that would help. Make sure to take everything,” Wonwoo curtly says, giving the clipboard to the nurse.

When the nurse goes out, he looks at you with something that you’d describe as close to disappointment. Before he can get even more upset, you decide it’d be better to act cute in hope it will ease things off a little.

“Woo~” you pout with your whiny tone. It’s a tone Wonwoo knows well, ones you use when you’re trying to get him on your good side. “You know I don’t mean to hide it from you.”

He raises one of his eyebrows, deciding to indulge your little game. “That’s why you step into this hospital and book an appointment with Hansol?”

You pout even more, looking at him pitifully. “It’s just that Dr. Choi has less appointments than you are.”

“You really think I’d buy that?” he asks, a bit amused. It’s kind of cute the way you’re making up reasons. “Whatever. Just get your meds and wait for me by the lobby. We’re going home.”

“You’re done for the day?” you ask, your eyes following Wonwoo’s figure as he moves around to gather his things.

“I should be until Hansol’s patient is referred to me.”

“Woo~” you whine again and Wonwoo just laughs at your tone.

Junhui has also never been one to meddle with other people’s relationships no matter how close he is with that person, which is why he’s just stayed neutral over the whole break up debacle. He still talks to Soonyoung even though there’s an obvious distance between the two of them compared to before.

Right now, he’s battling himself on whether or not to call Soonyoung here because he’s tired for you. He doesn’t mind looking after you, even believes that it’s his job as a friend to make sure you’re okay. But it’s getting harder to see his friend being miserable and not being able to do anything about it when he knows the source of the problem who will (hopefully) be able to put this misery to an end.

You’ve finished a bottle of soju on your own now, which means one or two shots away from your maximum capacity.

“Let me make a call real quick, okay?” he decides in the end, and you just nod at him before you slurp on your ramyeon. If you’re being honest, there’s no difference between being miserable here and at home. After all, this bar used to be your go-to place with Soonyoung when it’s evening and the both of you felt like eating out. If there’s a place that reminds you of him more than your place, it’s definitely this bar.

You smile sadly at the memory, pouring yourself another shot of soju before you down it in one go. You wince at the bitterness, coughing a little to yourself. Why is Junhui not back yet? You shrug to yourself, eating your ramyeon again just so your drink won’t be going into your system by itself.

After another shot or two (or was it three? You don’t know anymore.), the chair in front of you is pulled out again and you almost fall out of your seat when you look up to see Soonyoung there, looking awkward but also worried. That doesn’t make sense. You’ve had too much drink again, haven’t you? Your brain must’ve mistaken Junhui for Soonyoung because of the alcohol.

“Hey, Junhui,” you say with a lazy grin, and ‘Junhui’ doesn’t say anything, simply looks at your tired smile and the growing dark circles under your eyes. “I must’ve drunk too much. You look like Soonyoung now.”

He just tilts his head to the side, but you continue speaking because you’re too drunk to shut up and you can’t stop giggling because, fuck, you’ve missed Soonyoung so much that his image is manifested in front of you right now when you know for sure it’s Junhui who’s sitting there.

“You must’ve been sick of me by now, right?” you giggle to yourself, though you really do feel bad for Junhui because he’s been taking care of you since that day. “I’m sorry for troubling you a lot these days. Thank you for always being with me, though.”

Your friend still doesn’t say anything, but you figure you’re much too emotional now to care and you just want to express your gratitude while you’re at it. “It’s just… I know you see firsthand it’s been hard for me, but I never expect it to be this hard. It’s… it’s actually me who asked to break up, you know? Which is very stupid because I’m the miserable one when Soonyoung’s very happy by himself and—tell you what, maybe it’s not that stupid, after all. If… if he’s happier without me then it means I made a good decision leaving him, right?”

Junhui moves to sit beside you to help you sit up, because you definitely don’t have it in you to hold yourself up now and you just want to be embarrassingly miserable. One of his arms go around you for support and, if you’re not sure before, you’re 100% sure you’re drunk now because Junhui feels like Soonyoung and even smells like him.

And because you’re not currently right in the head, you decide to lean into his touch because you miss him so much even though this is just a fragment of your imagination. Maybe, just maybe, it’ll get better after this because you finally cave in to your longing towards him. You can feel one of his hands cradles your head, placing it on his shoulder and the other rubs your back.

“I… didn’t even tell him why I wanted to end it,” you sniff to yourself as tears pool in your eyes, Junhui deserves to know even if it’s months too late after putting up with you until this very day. “Just told him I wanted to break up and then I blocked him everywhere just in case I’d call him out of nowhere. He... he tried knocking on my doors a few times but I had to pretend like I wasn’t home until he eventually stopped.”

“Why?” his voice is soft, so soft that you almost didn’t hear it if it’s not because you’re literally leaning on his shoulder. Fuck, he even sounds like Soonyoung now.

“You know Shinji, right? From his class?” you ask, not even waiting for him to answer before you continue. “I… overheard her talk about Soonyoung and how he’s too good for me. That she’d make a better partner for him, and he’d probably get bored with me after a while and it’s just… it hits me, you know? That she’s probably right. That he should’ve been with someone who fits him and that’s not me and I—"

“Ssshh,” he moves you to his chest as you choke on your words, tears falling down your face from recalling all the self-loathing thoughts you’ve been holding against yourself even from before the Shinji episode. It’s been some time since you’ve gotten insecure about yourself, and all of it is for you to blame because Soonyoung never did anything that might suggest he’s not satisfied with who you are.

On the contrary, he’s always tried his best to remind you he loved you all the same no matter what. And even though you believed him, your inner demon wouldn’t stop at that and Shinji, easily one of the most gorgeous girls you’ve ever seen in your life, saying those words out of her mouth only trapped you further into those thoughts.

“Hey, I’m here. It’s okay,” his voice is so sogentle, one that you’re familiar with though you’re still convinced your head is messing with you. There’s no way Soonyoung is here with you when you’ve one-sidedly broken up with him without any actual explanation. “Angel, come on. Look at me, hm?”

Your head snap up at the petname, pretty sure Junhui would never say that to you. You probably look like a mess now, eyes red and puffy with tears streaming down your face, but the man in front you doesn’t seem to mind. He just smiles a little as his hand wipes your tears, his own heart hurting at the sight of you.

“S—Soonyoung?” you shakily call his name, because it can’t be him. It just can’t.

“Yes, it’s me,” he nods, and, even through your blurry vision, you can tell that there’s a sad smile in his face. His hands move to cup your face, wiping the remaining tears from your face. Oh, how he misses to be this close to you. “Should I take you home?”

You shake your head, still not believing he’s here, let alone offering to take you home. “W—why are you here?”

Soonyoung mumbles something along the line of ‘would you even remember if I tell you?’, but he proceeds to say Junhui has finally called him because he’s too worried to let you be any longer. “So, please, let me take you home, okay?”

“B—but why?”

“Because you’re too drunk and couldn’t even differentiate me and Junhui earlier?”

“No, I—I mean,” you try to speak through your hiccups. “Why would you want to take me home? Y—you should hate me after what I did.”

He sighs at your question, absolutely convinced you wouldn’t even remember his reason even if he tells you. He feels something squeezing his heart at your hoarse voice, at your soft hiccups, at your tired eyes and the way you’re talking as if he shouldn’t be taking care of you.

He knows you’ve always been a harsh judge towards your own self, though he never thinks it was to this extend. To think you even said it was a good decision to leave him because he lookshappier when you’re like this… he can’t even be mad, just plain sad and maybe a little wronged. But mostly, he just wants to clear things up when you’re sober.

When Junhui has called him earlier, he’d never think it’d be because of this. But he’s glad he did, because he’s actually been meaning to reach out to you again and see if you’ll finally tell him what went wrong that day—that maybe it was just a mistake that he could’ve prevented. And, even though he practically has got the answer now, he’d still rather talk about it again when you’re not like this.

After persuading you some more, you eventually agree to let him take you home. His arm around your waist to help you walk, but only because you refuse to get on to his back. He’s very glad to find your passcode is still the same, because he’s pretty sure you would take 5 more minutes to put in the right code otherwise.

Once you’re on your room—gosh, he’s missed being here so much—you wouldn’t let go of his hand after he’s tucked you into your blanket. “No, don’t let go.”

He smiles a little at your voice, weren’t you the one who said he shouldn’t be taking care of you earlier?

“I’m not going anywhere, alright?”

“Lies,” you say softly, though there’s no venom in your voice because you just sound downright dejected which hurts Soonyoung more than he thinks possible. “You’d probably be gone when I wake up. You’re just an imagination, after all.”