#wunderxfunk

Usually when he was home alone he would scan through various blogs and chat rooms about being a gay teen since it was the only time he could use the computer freely. Blaine had believed for some time now that he was gay but was too nervous to approach his parents until he knew for sure. There was research to be done and facts he still needed to learn. His parents, the lawyers, didn’t work off of feelings or suspicions. They needed the cold hard facts. He would wait until he knew for sure, it was the only way.

When left with no other options, Blaine turned to the internet like every other teenager. Google became his best friend because it wasn’t like there was anyone at school he could talk to. He had friends but no one he was particularly close to. No one he wanted to share this kind of information with or trusted for that matter. The last thing he needed to happen was for rumors to get out about him because in that case, he could kiss his chances of getting into parties goodbye.

It started with image searches of boys, just to see if he had any reactions. Sure enough, his heart would beat fast and his mouth would go dry. There was a particular Calvin Klein ad that had become his kryptonite, seeing these men in nothing but tight boxer briefs and oiled abs were enough to render him speechless. He spent a whole afternoon looking up every ad in the campaign and discovering the wonder of masturbation. It took Blaine a whole week to work up the nerve to look at the pictures again as he had felt so guilty and dirty for jerking off in the first place.

Next he visited sites about “Helping gay teens”, “How you know you’re gay” and “Coming out to your parents”. All informative and only further convincing to him that he was, in fact, gay. It didn’t stop there because Blaine had questions. Questions and hormones that had been kicked into high gear recently which had left him waking up in more uncomfortable situations than he would like to confess.

For tonight's topic he went into uncharted territory: S-E-X. Porn was easy to come by but he wanted something more. Something a bit more real. The Anderson’s were a church going family, if you discounted the non-holiday days, and had preached of “waiting until marriage” and “keeping the conversation in the bedroom”. So he found himself back on google. One post he came across discussed a frank reaction to one user’s experience to Chat Roulette. “If ur interested in seeing dick, use chatroulette.” The voice in the back of Blaine’s head said You won’t know if you’d like it unless you try.

He opened a new tab on his computer and took a deep breath before typing out the url letter by letter. The first thing that he came across was the rules which included needing to be over the age of 18 and to be mindful of possible scammers. His heart beat rapidly against his chest as he moved his cursor over to select START. Immediately he was connected to a woman that was probably in her early 20s. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at her computer screen and within seconds, she was gone --disconnected from their room. He was connected to another person, a guy who looked about his age. Before Blaine had a chance to open his mouth, he disconnected too.

So far he had been on the website for almost a minute and had two people run from him. This was not the response he had expected to receive however he really did not have much to go on. Third time’s the charm he hoped as another person loaded. Another guy who was sweeping his bangs across his forehead as it loaded. This guy looked young and probably just as nervous as he felt. Blaine pointed out his Marc Jacobs shirt that lay crisply over his shoulders. He leaned forward towards the screen and muttered a quick, “Hi.”

“Wait, you’re not going to show your penis to me, right?” The guy on the other side of the screen responded.

“What? No --erm I wasn’t planning on it.” Blaine was caught off guard by the comment and he knew he was already blushing as the heat began to rise up his neck. “I just wanted to, I don’t know... talk to people.” He really wasn’t sure why he was on here anymore. While he was interested in seeing a penis other than his own, the thought of seeing one turned him redder than a tomato in less than 30 seconds.

The guy raised his eyebrow as if judging him already. “You went on chatroulette to talk to people? I’m not sure this is exactly the crowd you’d want to strike up a conversation with.”

“You did.”

The guy froze, Blaine sensed it was because he was right in his comment. “Yes, but I am far from the norm.”

“Why did you come on?”

The guy looked away from the screen and moved a bit in his seat as if shifting his weight to a different leg. “It’s not exactly polite to ask someone why they are on chatroulette.”

“You apparently didn’t come on to see a penis.”

The guys eyes grew a bit wider and he pressed his lips together until they formed a thin line across his face.

“I know the types of people that come on here I just-- I dunno. I wanted to have a bit of an experience other than someone pulling out their dick and waving it at me or whatever. I mean, I like guys and all but--”

The guy cut him off. “Wait, you’re gay?”

Blaine brought his hand to the back of his neck. It was an honest question since it wasn’t like he had written across his face that he was sort of/ kind of/ really attracted to guys. “Well um, I don’t know. I mean-- I think so? I was kind of taking this as a crash course to see if my suspicions were true.”

“And what are your suspicions?” The guy looked like he was suddenly sitting much closer to his computer screen. This conversation seemed to really catch his interest.

His cheeks felt hot so he knew he had to be a dark shade of pink at least by this moment. “Uh, that guys...you know?”

The guy stared back at him through the pixelated screen, waiting for the conclusion of his sentence.

Blaine’s fingers walked up onto the back of his head as he raised his eyes off the screen thinking that it would be easier to tell him if he couldn’t see his immediate reaction. “That guys...turn me on or whatever.”

The guy sat back in this chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “So you’re basically taking a crash course in gay guy 101 and thinking that seeing another man’s... genitalia would convince you that you’re gay.”

“Well, yeah.”

The guy laughed.

Blaine felt deflated. “Yeah I don’t know what i’m even doing here. This was a stupid idea.”

“WAIT! Don’t leave.”

Blaine looked back to the screen and the guy held his hand out as if he was actually able to physically grab him.

“Okay, so maybe I haven’t been the most sensitive with my reactions but I don’t want you to go. Not yet at least.”

“So what then?” Blaine didn’t know if he should be annoyed with this guy or not. He did just laugh at him.

“You wanted to talk, let’s talk.”

“Alright. I told you why I’m here--why are you?”

The guy straightened his back and parted his lips. “Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yeah, so I know it’s pretty obvious but i’m gay too and-”

“Really?” Blaine felt a twinge of joy hearing that he finally met someone that understood his situation.

“Yeah.”

“I-I didn’t know.”

This made the guy smile. “Oh. Well ok, I am and um, I was on this website and they said this would be a good place to--”

“Learn about sex?” Blaine was hopeful that they had been to the same website.

The guy’s eyes lit up. “Yeah and I should have questioned the validity when the user spelled ‘you’re’ as ‘ur’ because the first few people I met either already had their breasts or their..” He looked down as if trying not to laugh. “Their penis out and ready to go. I got freaked out and instantly disconnected. I swear, one guy was just masturbating in front of his camera for anyone to see. I mean really, have some dignity!” He waved his hands in the air which helped Blaine picture how his reaction must have been each time. “I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to find. I had heard stories but now I just feel dirty. Call me a hopeless romantic but I would rather know a guy’s name before he whips it out on me.”

“Yeah I guess you’re right. I would like that too.”

“You know, I never got your name.” The guy placed his bent elbow on to the desk and rested his head in his hand.

“Blaine. It’s Blaine. What’s yours?”

“Kurt. Now, don’t think that since we exchanged names that you can pull your penis out on me.”

Blaine’s smile grew wider and he felt his heart swell. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Hey, do you think I could get your number so I could call you some time. I would really like to talk to you before I make a dumb choice like this again.”

Kurt hesitated and his fingers twitched visibly on screen.

“Not that meeting you was dumb but you were really helpful and I’m glad I got connected with you and you seem really nice and--”

“Blaine--it’s fine. I put my number in the chat. Just there.” Kurt pointed to the side of the screen. “You can call me or text me before you follow any advice you find on one of those websites and I promise to do the same. Deal?”

“Deal.” Blaine pulled out his phone and entered Kurt’s number automatically into his contact list.

“So Blaine… why don’t you call me and tell me what else you have you learned from these websites?” Kurt smiled. “Maybe we can share notes and not end up on sites like this.”