#wunderlichkind

that looks plastic, I have no doubt those idiots would've used a real golf ball 😭

put your liked songs on shuffle, and post the first ten that come up: 

Guns and Roses by Bohnes

Hit it by American Authors

Terribly love by Birdy

Renegade by Aaryan Shah

A Drop in the Ocean by Ron Pope

Hold me closer by Cornelia Jakobs

Hey Lion by Sofi Tukker

Be Alright by Dean Lewis

Gonna be okay by Brent Morgan

VENT'ANNI by Maneskin

essentially; allow yourself some more time to figure this out but also stand your ground on your personal boundaries. i‘m crossing my fingers it turns into something that can really make you happy 😘

that is reassuring!!!! and good advice. he's been super respectful of my boundaries when i've drawn them so far -- like he offered to skip his weekend trip this weekend so we could see each other again (its after this that i told him i wanted to take it slow) and i told him that a) i dont want him to move his life around for this and b) that i had other things going on, and he was immediately like yup of course see you in two weeks then no sweat. so he's definitely hearing me and but he is shooting for the stars when ive been gently trying to direct him to like plane altitude level LOL

i really really appreciate this perspective!!!!!!!!! i think its also that like ive been clear on wanting to take it slow but i've just kinda glossed over the sweet messages rather than outright saying that he should tone it down so. i'm sure i could tell him to tone it down and he would im just. not sure if its bad or good at this point.

I'm a little hesitant to post this because I'm not 100% sure I have their voices down? I'm still workshopping it!

CW for recreational alcohol use.

Ask me about a WIP.

hi silja darling - thank you for the ask 💕

19. If you could write an ideal fic, what would it include? I actually spoke about this very recently with some pals, so I have a very clear idea in my head! Warning: It is incredibly dramatic, hahaha. But it's my favourite trope in the world. I love the concept of star-crossed lovers. Two people who love each other so much, but can't be together for whatever reason. The only thing keeping them separate is circumstance. Maybe they have to stop seeing each other, too - I love to read the goodbye, the desperation and the hurt. And then of course, after all the pining and the missing and the pain: the delicious reunion. 😈 I would love to write something like this one day, and really, really take my time with it, let it build and develop.

A recent example of something I've read with all of these is the beautiful Name It the Blood by @effervescentdragon (piarles). Such a beautiful piece of writing - I hope one day I can write something so lovely!

Rules: Post the last line you wrote in your WIP. Then tag as many people as there are words.

“Hey Ramon, buddy, how about we go catch some fresh air before dinner?”

Jamie’s room hadn’t changed much in the years since Claire had last been at Lallybroch. The light blue walls were mostly bare aside from a couple of mounted and hung photographs that he himself had taken during his A-Level photography course. On his bedside table sat a picture that Claire recognised and she picked it up, the breath catching in her throat as she gazed down on an image of the two of them, smiles wide across their faces as they held an ice cream proudly between them.

“Our first year.” Jamie said quietly, his fingers brushing against Claire’s cheek as she looked between him and the photo.

“Just before we broke up for summer.”“Aye, that was the first year we spent together on the farm, I remember it well.”

“Even though I was practically useless?” Claire joked.

“Ye were never useless.” He replied, taking the picture from her and placing it back on the table. “I think my mam fell in love with ye that summer - she hasna stopped asking about you since I got home. I’m beginning to think that she’d rather ye’d come back and left me in the city.” Chuckling lowly, he walked her backwards until her legs hit the wood of his baseboard. His nose was against hers, the softness of his breath coaxing her closer.

“I doubt that.” She whispered, her hands tightening on his belt, the leather creaking quietly beneath her fingertips.

“Christ, Claire…” licking his lips, he tilted his head as the wooden floorboards moaned, his feet shifting infinitesimally, “I’ve spent two years wishing I’d had the courage to fight for ye. And now yer here, and I can feel you against me, I dinna think I can let ye go again. I ken,” he said, feeling her chest rise against his and seeing her mouth open a little as she prepared to interrupt him, “what ye said before about yer doctorate, and I would never want ye to derail that for me but I meant what I said about our life together - I’ve seen it and I want it.”

Falling onto the mattress, her body compliant as she lay below him, Claire dragged his mouth against hers as her legs fell open to accommodate him. Her hands found the back pockets of his jeans and she held him flush against her whilst her tongue lapped slowly over his bottom lip.

“It would be too hard.” She gasped, inhaling before kissing him once more.

“No,” Jamie returned, “it wouldn't be *hard*.”

“It isn’t advisable, my grades would suffer.”

“Are ye telling me it says in the course handbook ‘dinna get into a relationship whilst training’?”

“It would be amusing if it did.” Claire scoffed, her hands unconsciously undoing the button on the top of Jamie’s jeans as he pushed himself up enough so that she could reach it.

Stopping for a moment, Jamie took hold of Claire’s hand and pulled it from between them as some sense returned to him through the lust cloud that surrounded them. Placing it by her head he cracked his eyes open a little and lifted his lips from hers.

“I want ye, Claire, ye ken how much - ye can feel it. Ye ken it in yer heart, too. But I willna just *fuck* ye here tonight, as much as my body wants to. There’s more to you and I than that and I willna ruin it wi’ sex if ye dinna want to try -at least attempt- to be wi’ me.”

Smiling shyly, Claire tilted her head where it rested on the pillow and brought her palm up to rest against his cheek. “You know it’d never be *just* sex with us, Jamie.” She sighed, pushing her hips upwards as her thighs tightened around his waist. She just wanted to undress him, the sight of him hovering over her making her whole body ache.

With the feeling of completeness swirling around her, teasing her as she licked her lips languidly, she undulated her arse slowly. At the back of her mind, a slight nagging doubt hovered, its darkness concealed for the moment as she succumbed to the warmth and connection Jamie’s presence afforded her.

The air between them was potent causing Claire’s hesitance to diminish. Jamie was an aphrodisiac to her, an all consuming addiction that caused her to lose sight of the clear view she had of her life; of her career. One part of her, drunk on want, begged her to give in - you’ll be free after this - it coaxed, lulling her into a false sense of security. Telling her in a quiet whisper that once she gave in, felt the rush of Jamie, naked and inside her, she’d be free of this insatiable draw she had to him. The other part, louder in one sense but drowned out by the thickness of the atmosphere that surrounded her, shook its head at that notion; knowing full well that once they did this there was absolutely no going back.

“Then say ye’ll try,” he whispered, his mouth finding hers as he ran his lips softly against her as she breathed softly beneath him.

A subtle silence surrounded them as they kissed, shedding their clothes effortlessly as their breath came in pants as they gasped for air as little as possible. Both now fully naked, Jamie held himself steady over her, his elbows digging into the mattress as he slid his lips along the exposed column of her neck.

Pinned to the bed as she was, Claire could do nothing but succumb to the sensations currently holding her hostage. She knew, with every kiss that Jamie planted on her needy flesh, that it was becoming almost impossible to dig herself out of the emotional hole she had begun concocting for herself all of those years ago. Before she had been able to deny the pull she had to Jamie, but here -with his hips tucked snuggly between her own- his conclusion before was being proved right. Whatever happened to part them, something ethereal seemed to drag them back together in some way - even if that *something* was meddling friends.  

“What are you thinking about?” He sighed, her breast painfully close to his mouth as he peaked up at her.

“You.” She replied cryptically.

“Tell me, Claire,” he coaxed, “what do ye think about me?”

“I think I want…” she began, her words breathless and light, “I want you to kiss me again.”

Lifting her back off the bed, she illustrated her point by weaving her hand through his hair and tugging him towards her chest as she bit the inside of her lip carefully.

“Aye, ye do?”

“Yes, I do.” She mirrored, leaning her head back and closing her eyes as she forced the moan that threatened to escape her back down her throat.

“It’s no’ just sex?” He asked, needing to clarify before he continued.

“No.” She stated clearly. “Never. Now, please, kiss me…”

-- --- --

Freeing herself from Jamie’s grip, Claire rolled away, standing and wiping the taste of him from her mouth as she crept over to the window. They’d been close, painfully so, to losing themselves in one another but both drink and fatigue had kept them both from going too far. Instead, they’d kissed and writhed against one another until sleep had claimed them for a few, short hours. It was only the heat of Jamie that had woken her from that doze.

“I was serious about what I said, Jamie,” she began, her quiet words penetrating the darkness, fear creeping through her veins as a cold shudder ran down her spine, “it doesn’t matter what I *want*. It’s what my career needs and missing you, communicating by text and email through the week whilst trying to write my thesis and complete my residency would be impossible. I’ve been focused on this for so long that I can only work on one thing at a time and now, at this moment in time, it has to be work and not love.” She finished, continuing a conversation Jamie thought he’d quoshed.

“Yer wrong.” He interjected, his eyes holding hers from where he still lay on his bed. “I would give all of this up now if ye asked me to. I would pack my worldly belongings into one suitcase, move back to the city and work any job if it meant ye’d have me by yer side. I would sacrifice anything for you, do ye no’ see that?”

There was an urgency in his voice that made Claire’s heart stop dead in her chest. He was on the verge of tears, she could tell, and the need to comfort him overwhelmed her.

“You’d do that, Jamie?” She asked, tentative hope alive in her voice.

“Aye, truly, lass. We dinna have to wait any longer.” He whispered softly, his emotions raging as he ached to twine his fingers through hers. “I ken the risks but it canna be worse than this invisible divide between us - this fog of unknown that masks what could be, teasing us wi’ the possibility of something amazing, aye?”

“Jamie,” she whispered breathlessly, “what if it doesn’t…”

“It will.”

Claire’s heart skipped a beat but she remained stoically silent.

“We can do this,” he continued, ignoring the pause, “it’s you and I, Claire. We’re made for one another. Whatever parts us, something brings us back to one another - ye canna deny that? Dinna fight it anymore, please, for once let yer heart win. Ye wouldna have come this far; to the main house and into my room, unless ye werena thinking about it - so, let that part of yer head guide you now. It willna steer ye wrong, ye have my word.”

“I’ve never done this before. How do you know it’ll work out?” She returned, her voice wavering as she spoke.

“I just feel it in my bones, lass. I canna explain it, it’s just there - whispering to me, guiding me.”

She heard the soft pad of his feet on the floor and her skin prickled at his touch. Turning her head slightly so that she could see him in her periphery, Claire’s hand twitched against her side as her breathing became laboured. Wrapping his tartan blanket around her shoulders, he guided her against him, turning her around to face him. He thought about giving her space, but Mary’s words from a previous conversation floated into his subconscious causing him to move forwards almost unconsciously.

“It’s easy here,” she said, her face partially buried in Jamie’s chest, “to breathe...to exist but it’s hard too.”

“I ken that. I thought the same thing when I had to move back.”

“I still--” she started, clenching her eyes shut as the residual feelings of guilt bubbled in her stomach.

“I know, hush now.” He soothed, rubbing her back softly.  

“Mary.” Claire sighed, chuckling to herself as she clung to Jamie.

“She worrit about ye, that’s all. She just wants ye to be happy - as do I.”

“I wish I’d come back with you, helped you with the farm and Ellen too. I would have, if I could go back I’d have put my degree on hold and done it with you but I was scared.”

“Ye did the right thing, lass. That was my burden to bear no’ yers. You needed to stay so dinna even think about it anymore, aye. Just think about it now. What we can have. If ye were considering it then, what’s stopping ye now?”

“Nothing.” She confessed finally, pusing herself onto her tiptoes as she took Jamie’s mouth against her own, silencing him as shock and joy coursed through him simultaneously.

“Will ye have me then?” He asked cautiously.