#wubzy

(a few days later)

“i don’t even know what happened gidget, how did i mess up so badly? i was sure my parents would be happy for me..” wubzy looked at the ground as his friend gidget comforted him. he had been staying with her ever since he got kicked out.

“there there little buddy, i’m sure we’ll think of a way out of this,” she chuckled. at least she had been in a similar predicament before. well, the kings daughter definitely wasn’t involved, but gidget sure did know her way around homophobic parents.

“actually,” she started again, smiling slightly to herself, “i don’t see why you won’t just suck it up and marry the princess. surely anyone in the kingdom would be happy to be with someone as gorgeous as her.”

oh no, not this again. they had been through this a million times before. gidget was head over heels in love with the princess of cheeseland (the land where they lived). it was a miracle her stupid crush wasn’t getting in the way of things. wubzy would have assumed gidget to get very jealous of his apparent betrothal to her beloved.

“gidget,” said wubzy, “you’re doing it again. shut up about your crush for ten minutes and help me here!” he was starting to get a bit angry now, though he knew he shouldn’t have been. gidget was being nothing but patient, and wubzy was just ungrateful.

just then, wubzys iphone alarm went off from the inside pocket of the gucci sweatshirt he had stolen from his ex boyfriend that he still had feelings for. joey had lent him the sweatshirt after he noticed that wubzy was wearing no clothes at all. nothing. not even a pair of underwear. wubzy was a strange lad to say the least. maybe his parents were right to kick him out.

anyway, yeah, his alarm went off. and you bet it wasn’t a nice, soothing alarm, like the chimes or something. no, it was the really annoying default alarm that gave every student in the world an instant cringe attack. wubzy was classy like that.

“oh no, sorry gidget!” he made this face 😟. this exact face 😟. “i have to go, or i’ll be late for my job at the cheese factory!” he rushed out the door and got into his little clown car. because he drove a little clown car. this has absolutely nothing to do with the progression of the story, i just thought it was a bit funny.

so wubzy sped through the streets in his sick little clown car, hitting every pedestrian he saw. you see, he was angry. angry at his job for making him come to work, angry at gidget for having a crush, angry at his parents for kicking him out. most of all, he was angry at the universe for making him gay. he put on his most #emo playlist and cranked his car up to 69 mph for maximum pedestrian hitting (also mph, coincidentally). thank goodness there was no law enforcement in cheeseland.

as wubzy pulled into work, he could immediately sense that something was wrong. he could sense this using his spidey senses. you see, wubzy had been bitten by a radioactive spider at the age of twelve, and ever sense then he’d had special abilities. heh, he thought to himself when it had happened, i’m just like spider-man.

as soon as wubzy walked through the doors of the cheese factory, he saw the problem. standing at wubzys station, was his ex boyfriend joey, and he appeared to have been waiting for him.

“hey joe,” he said tentatively, taking a slow step forward. joey was know to attack like a rabid wolf when startled, and this had been part of the reason they broke up. (wubzy didn’t like to think about the real reason.) when wubzy finally found himself standing directly in front of joe, he spoke again. “um, did you need something? i can give you your sweater back if you want?”

before he could pull the sweater off though, joe stopped him. this was for the better probably, as the cheese factory had a strict policy that stated that all employees must wear clothes. this rule was put in place following the naked cheese disaster of 98’. yeah, they didn’t talk about that.

“joe..” wubzy said, still not knowing what the man wanted.

“good god,” joe said, tears forming in his eyes, “when the roast beast hits.”

oh yeah. wubzy had forgotten about that. when joe had done what he did, wubzy had gotten so mad that he got his magical friend edna mode to curse him. from then on, joe could only utter one sentence. i think you already saw what that was.

“oh man,” said wubzy, looking apologetic. “i’m so sorry, edna said that would wear off, i swear! don’t worry though, i can fix it.” he snapped his fingers and edna appeared in a puff of smoke.

“edna mode at your service,” she said, before spotting joe. “oh, it’s you,” she said with a distinct frown, “we meet again, joe biden. come running back after obama left you, then?”

“edna,” said wubzy, “please just fix his voice, i don’t have the energy to get in a fight right now.”

“fine,” edna tutted, clicking her heels and saying the magic word. “cheese!” she shouted. “there, now your voice should be back to normal.” and in a puff of smoke, she was gone

“joe,” wubzy started, for what felt like the hundredth time.

“wubzy, let me explain!” joe really was crying now. “obama was just a one time thing, i didn’t mean to hurt you the way i did. please, wubzy, you’re the love of my life, will you marry me?” at this, he knelt down on one knee, producing a large ring. it was made of cheese. joe really knew him, wubzy thought.

now wubzy was the one in tears. “wow, wow, wow..” he remarked. “joe, i- yes!”

they hugged and stuff, like couples do when they get engaged. idk, i’ve never been proposed to.

just then, wubzys boss (and gidgets loving adoptive father), papa pepperoni, stepped out of his office. “hey, you stupid president, do you mind? wubzys supposed to be working, how do you think he’s repaying me for getting him out of that wedding with the princess?”

“what?” wubzy breathed out, looking shocked. “how did you get me out of the wedding?”

“ha!” papa pepperoni laughed. “i have an in at the castle. why do you think the newest born prince looks so much like me?” he gave a small wink at that, before turning away and going back into his office.

wubzy looked amazed, he had just been engaged and unengaged two two different people in the span of a few minutes. he was ecstatic! he would work every day for the rest of his life to repay papa pepperoni for the kindness he had just shown.

in the end, everything was great. there was a huge double wedding for wubzy and joe, as well as gidget and the princess, who had begun dating after gidget found out about her adoptive fathers ties with the royal family.

So here are a pair of commissions I did for

@wubzywubbles and his beautiful wife @stephie121

These two are great friends of mine and I’m so happy that I could make this pair of icons for them!