Just a quick reminder from the City Council to please not climb on the giant letters that make up the city's name sign. They might look like a fun playground, but climbing on them is dangerous and the city doesn't like it.

Today's forecast was for a cloudy day, with highs in the low 30s and a small chance of rain.

However, the wind picked up early this morning and made the skyscrapers sway, and now there's a tear in the sky again.

As usual, there is nothing we can do but wait for it to heal itself.

In the meantime, expect three or four days of bright sun, as the clouds keep getting sucked into the tear. Try not to look up if possible -- the tears are known to cause sunburn, temporary blindness, and vivid hallucinations. The city council is recommending rose-tinted glasses and wide-brimmed sunhats to reduce the temptation to look, and to mitigate the effects if you do. An umbrella or parasol could also help.

All flights to local airports are being routed around the tear, so expect delays if you or a loved one is flying anywhere this week.

Traffic is flowing pretty smoothly along the riverside and through the city today. There was an accident on the highway earlier this morning, but no one was seriously hurt and it only blocked one lane.

Congestion across the bridges is likely to be bad this afternoon, but that's not unusual.

We did have someone call in earlier to report that there appears to be more overpasses along the river than usual today, which might help. None of them lead to the CBD though, so if you're heading that way, make sure you leave yourself a bit extra time to loop around the city and come in from the north.

It's summer, which means the various public pools are pretty busy. Especially on the weekends.

I passed by the waterfront pool the other day. You know, the one with the fake beach. It was full of families playing -- kids splashing each other, parents watching from the sidelines, the usual. It was noisy, and I couldn't possibly spend more than an hour playing like that without sunburning, but it looked fun.

It reminded me, though, to remind all of you: the visitor pools are only for visitors. Tourists, and the like. If you're a local, do not enter a visitor pool unless you're in the presence of enough visiting friends and family to hide the fact you're not a tourist.

We don't want another incident like last summer, with that idiot who thought a quick dip would be fine, do we?

For any locals who would like to go for a swim, and don't have their own pool: the locals pool near the park has extended their opening hours, and have said they will continue to be open longer until the end of summer. They're also running extra swimming classes for the kids, and have an aquatic exercise program for any adults looking to get fit.

A reminder from the city council:

Please be respectful when interacting with the river.

Your best choice for traversing it are the bridges and ferries. Boats of the appropriate size and power are also fine, including tinnies and rowing boats.

Swimming in the river is not fine, and will in fact result in a fine if you are caught.

Also, do not annoy the sharks and other wildlife. They were here first, and rightfully do not like invaders.

And remember -- the river is brown. It has always been brown, and should always be brown.

If you find a section of river that is a different colour, please contact council immediately.

And if the river is blue, do not approach.

In fact, run.

The forecast says the next week should be sunny and bright, but we all know how reliable meteorologists are.

I say this, because the curlews have taken over the park again, and have been heard screaming a storm warning every night for the last three nights.

They seem to be favouring the far north-eastern corner of the park this year, and reports claim to have seen any number between three and sixteen. Which is a much better population range than last year's seven to twelve.

As usual, do not harass the curlews. They perform an essential service for the community, and we should not return their kindness with cruelty.

However, do not feed them either. They will take the food as tribute, and as an invitation to take over the rest of the park. We must maintain the delicate balance of giving them enough room to be polite without putting the idea in their heads to take over the entire city.

And, per the usual warnings, if you do hear them crying, that's a good time to check on your storm preparedness. Do you have a flashlight for if the electricity dies? Do you need to go buy some sandbags or tarps? Do you have enough food and water for a couple of days if the streets flood?

Ares: The Smiling god looks upon you in joy this week, sending you gifts-a-plenty. Please do not hesitate to accept them, and use them to your own advantage.

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Taurus: You have been out in the sun for too long. Do not forget to come inside to the break room, and maybe pet our therapy Strex Pet. It may help you focus again, and help you get whatever task you have set up, complete!

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Gemini: You were once more powerful than you ever thought you would be. But now that you are mortal, you can only see the road of humans laid out ahead. Take that road, and let it lead you to success!

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Cancer: You have been late to too many meetings. Please report to the local pay phone booth, and state your Name, adress, Spouse's name, first tooth you lost, and Blood type. We will pick you up shortly.

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Leo: Vanity has held you back. So we removed all your mirrors and replaced them with planners for you to fill. You are very welcome.

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Virgo: Virgo, you seem tired. Do not despair. Take a few deep breaths and do a short ritual. This will help you, and all of your friends, stay up more days to catch up on that late work.

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Libra: Why did you throw that at them?They only wanted to help you plan a schedule. Violence in the workplace really sets you back. Please see your way to management and hope that they see you as fit to stay in your chosen department.

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Scorpio: You have been promoted! Talk to the last one in your company who was promoted to find out where!

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Sagittarius: Did you know that a million tiny spiders can help you carry your papers around, that way you can cary extra? No? Well then today is your lucky day. Report to town hall later today and see what you can do to join the Spider Assistance Program (SAP).

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Capricorn: You have no more sick days. Please just return to work. We promise the teeth only look that sharp, and will cause no dmage if you get bitten. Lying about illness is very not up to code, and is very unprofessional.

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Aquarius: You have counted well. You have been nothing but on time and productive for nearly six months now. No longer will we have to watch you! Congrats!

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