#ws:pointsconf

“hello, i’m the artist of the month for may, blue.m’s han!”

Q. thoughts on being artist of the month?

“it was very surprising, but i’m honoured. especially after seeing danny do it a few months back, i couldn’t believe that i’d been picked. i’m excited to show what i can do!”

     xx.04.22, yuseong dance studio.

han sits in front of the mirror, sweating as he looks at the dance instructor for feedback. he hadn’t been in this room in almost a month, the push and pull of his muscles from disuse unfamiliar to the dancer.

“do you have it in you to do it again?” the instructor asks and, without answering, han gets back on his feet, counting an eight beat before throwing himself into the choreography once again.

Q. what inspired your choreography?

“during my break, i listened to post malone’s ‘motley crew’ a lot, and thought the song was catchy. it made me want to show a more powerful side of myself, that blossom doesn’t get to see often. i ended up making most of the choreography myself, so i hope you’ll enjoy it.”

     xx.04.22, choreo practice

staring into the camera, han throws up finger hearts with a bubbly laugh. “ah, i missed this. the members are all home, but i’m sure hyunsoo will keep them alive while i practice. right, hyunsoo?” he laughs again, moving away from the camera.

phoenix’s god’s menu starts playing and han playfully imitates the choreography, before the dance instructor tells him to warm up. as he stretches, he groans and whines, but laughs it off with a smile as the instructor asks him if he’s somehow gotten longer during his break.

“should i change my hair before the shoot? i think i will. i’ve been blond for too long.” 

Q. what does dancing mean to you?

“dancing is everything to me. i’ve never been great with words, but i’ve always felt like i could express myself through dance. the worst punishment to me would be to never be able to dance again. i really don’t know what i would do with myself if i didn’t have dancing in my life”

     xx.05.22, blue.m dorm

han sits at his desk in his room, the dorms obviously empty as all the members are off doing god knows what. without anyone around, han has his headphones pushed down around his neck as he edits post malone’s ‘motley crew’, tinkering with the song a little to make it more suitable for his choreography. suddenly, his phone rings, causing him to jump and laugh once he checks the caller id.

“hyung!” danny’s voice is clear through the phone, making a warm smile form on han’s features. “danny-ah, do you have any advice for me of AOTM?” 

“do what you always do, hyung! work hard, practice lots and blow us all away! but don’t rip your pants like that one time - and stay super hydrated - OH AND HAVE FUN!!” danny rambles on, as han’s ears redden and he laughs, quick to defend himself.

“it was one time and you still bring it up!”

“yeah, cause i don’t want you to go through it again!”

“oh my god.”

Q. how does it feel performing your own choreography?

“oh, it’s -- it’s a strange feeling, really. because i’m very proud of it, but i’m also the most critical of it, and of myself in general. like, if i didn’t have a specific deadline, i probably would’ve worked on it forever. the same thing happened when i was working on ‘shine’ -- i just want to give it my all and make sure it’s as perfect as it can be. i’m very proud of doing my own choreography, though.”

     xx.05.22, in the car on the way to studio shoom

“ah, some of the members wanted to come with me to the shoot, but i think they’re all busy today.” han mused as he looked out the window, smiling softly before rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

“i tried to sleep lots last night, but i’m a little nervous, if i’m being honest. but i’ll still give it my all, and everything’s gonna go fine.” letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, he threw a thumbs up at the camera. “fighting!”

Q. is there anything you’d like to say to blossom?

there are days when reality still sometimes manages to slip away from moonsik. it’s as if he’s waking up from a dream when he finally glances at his phone to check the time. 3am. maybe it was time to finally let himself get a moment of well deserved rest. he has spent countless nights like this. alone and awake well into the late hours of the night as he worked tirelessly on a collection that he hoped would be given approval to be released. the idea had been thrown back and forth since the release of his last solo album and though it wasn’t the exact path he had planned when phoenix first made their debut, there was something that moonsik found himself loving about the freedom that came along with the release of music that was solely his.

saving the work on his laptop, he uncurled himself from the chair that he had comfortably crammed himself into earlier the previous day. bones cracked from the freedom of his movement as moonsik left out a sigh of relief he didn’t know that he had even been holding. despite the late hour, moonsik wasn’t tired. he simply needed a break before he ran himself and his creativity dry. shuffling over to the couch, he made himself comfortable as he curled up with the small notebook he always had with him. when he released his last solo album, moon hadn’t bothered too much with the dedication section, unsure if he should bother with something like that if he didn’t know if the album would even have any success. but now that he was given a second chance he felt as if it were time to properly thank everyone who had helped him make it to where he was. 

northern lights. 

to everyone who has stuck by me on this journey. when the world seems the darkest you manage to light up the sky in the most beautiful way. thank you for helping me to find the beauty in the darkness of this world. 

to the sun. thank you for shining when i cannot. the moon cannot shine without the sun. thank you for completing me. 

to my gemini. thank you for giving me this opportunity. you gave up so much so that i could make it here. 

to the one who used to be the brightest star in the universe. your supernova only made me shine brighter. thank you for your destruction. it was my creation.

to my rubies. the stars in my universe. the moon and the stars will forever be as one. i love you with all of my heart. 

to phoenix. my universe itself. i cannot express my love in words.