lune

hello everyone! i’m ria (21+, she/her, est) and i can’t wait to meet everyone! i’m excited to introduce you all to my sweet little moon boy, choi moonsik (aka lune). lune is phoenix’s main rapper and resident shy boy. If you’d like to plot please give this post a like and i’ll pop into your dm’s asap!

bio / about / career

moonsik had always been a homebody (homebody meaning that he was always the most at him in the comfort of his own studio in the depths of the yuseong building). that being said, venturing out to visit his friend was a much needed break from the usual pace of his life. bundled up despite the heat of the summer and loaded down with equipment that he had brought from home, moonsik juggled the load in his hands so he could scroll through his contacts for rohan. 

the pair had been talking about the potential of working together for a while now, a reunion of sorts after the drifting apart that had happened with the formation of phoenix. moonsik had never been the type to try to dwell on the past but he couldn’t help but to think about the what ifs that could have been had things gone differently so many years ago. 

  it was obvious that there was nothing left of his old friend. the moonsik that he knew and loved wouldn’t treat him like this. what the hell happened to you? did the fame get to your head? that didn’t seem likely. subin couldn’t even name the group you were in. you must’ve just finally withered away in your own self-loathing and pity. maybe if it weren’t for your excuses, then he would’ve felt sorry for you. but there wasn’t any room left with all of the anger that had built up inside of him. 

  he barely glances over at the mirror after your taunting. chuckling dryly, he jolts his head to the side, as if he were hoping the quick gesture would release all of the tension he was feeling. “who’s the little bitch, huh?” his eyes widen as he stares down at you. pathetic. after everything that you put him through— all of the countless nights that he couldn’t sleep because maybe if he had just done something differently, then you’d still be laying there beside him. after all that you still wouldn’t apologize? 

  “but i thought that you loved playing unfair. it was unfair when you left. it’s unfair that you’re blaming me. so why’s it unfair that i put you in your place?” he takes a step towards you, only finding now that he couldn’t see clearly. tears were stinging his eyes.

 “shut your goddamned mouth!” he screams, swiftly delivering another kick to your side. “you didn’t look at me for years. fucking look at me now.” gritting his teeth, subin breathed heavily, unable to control the flood of emotions that he was feeling. 

laying there, the scenario felt all too familiar to moonsik. everything that he thought he had worked so hard to escape from had suddenly entered his life once again. and, much like the scared little child that he used to be, moonsik closed his eyes and braced himself as the tears started to freely flow down his face. everything was supposed to get better once he left. but moonsik was learning that it was impossible to escape from the past.

“look at you know.” moonsik gasped between the sobs that were starting to escape from his lips. “just like your mother. just a fucking bully.” he curled into himself, making himself nothing more than a small ball of a person curled up on the practice room floor. 

moosnik wishes that subin would have stayed out of his life. maybe, in another life, he would be proud of the boy for also getting away. but in this life, subin was nothing more than a reminder of the past. and he did nothing more than bring the past with him. 

tldr; moonsik’s second solo album acknowledgements

late at night with @wsmoonsik .

minwoo sighs heavily as he turns over in bed again, eyes fixed firmly on the wall in front of him. the room is dark and his bed is comfortable, almost perfect sleeping conditions otherwise. but for some reason his mind is wide awake.

they’d had an incredibly busy day and minwoo was exhausted from the intense dance practice they’d only finished a few hours ago. he thought for sure after stretching out and a hot shower that he was going to fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. but instead, he lays here getting more frustrated by the minute. he digs under his pillow for his phone, tilting the brightness to not wake up his roommate and fights off a grimace at the late hour knowing damn well he’s not going to be getting much rest before they have to get back up for another complicated day of schedules. 

minwoo pushes himself up, clutching his phone to his chest as he makes his way quietly out of the bedroom, pulling the door behind him with a soft click. the rest of the dorm is just as dark and minwoo heads out to the shared living room, quickly collapsing onto the large sofa. curling himself up in his favorite plushy blanket they keep pushed behind the pillows, he turns the tv on and sets to wait either for the sun to rise or sleep to carry him off. 

it isn’t long before the sound of something behind him the causes minwoo to jump, face peeking over the back of the couch wondering if it’s just one of the other members or a ghost finally coming to torment him. 

moonsik didn’t often frequent the phoenix dorms. it wasn’t necessarily that he disliked his fellow members. he just prefered to have his own space and it was easier to create those kind of bounderies when he was in the studio instead of his shared room in the dorm. it was also the fact the moonsik was addicted to his work. more often than not he would stay up countless nights, absently fiddling with new samples even if he didn’t actually have some sort of end goal in mind.

every now and then, he would slip into the dorm. usually unannouced and usually in need of something that he needed to return home in order to find. today, it happened to be a few hours sleep in an actually bed as well as to do a load of laundry before he ran out of the last of the clean clothes that he had left in his pile. he had expected everyone to be asleep, given the late hour. so, moonsik took his time wandering back to the dorm. there was something peaceful about the way that the world was when it was late at night. 

tldr; moonsik is placed into a group for absolute unit

the longer haneul listened to moonsik talk, the more his heart ached. they’d both worked so hard and, in his mind, they were both equally deserving of a spot in the group’s final lineup. to think that they wouldn’t both get it, that their time squeezing into a twin size bed together every night was coming to and end in just a short while — it was just too much. 

too caught up on moonsik’s words, haneul hadn’t noticed the tears forming in his eyes until they fell down onto his cheeks, leaving long streaks that he quickly tried to wipe away. he was already so tired, so stressed that he was no longer able to stop the wave of emotion that had been threatening to drown him for weeks. how was he supposed to deal with all of this, if not with his best friend?

“i don’t want that.” he spoke so softly, voice barely over a whisper as tears continued to well up in his eyes. “i don’t care about the stupid universe — i just want you there with me.” haneul had always been an optimist and a dreamer and, most of the time, the realist in moonsik kept his head from going too far in the clouds but tonight, it did nothing but shatter his already fragile heart.

“i’m not, i don’t —” he clamped his mouth shut, his emotional state making it harder and harder to organize his thoughts into proper sentence. instead, he sniffled and moved to lay his head on moonsik’s shoulder, knowing that if he looked at the rapper any longer, his tears would only worsen. “it’s not fair, moon.”

the pair of boys were almost a perfect balance. but in the moment it was hard for han’s usually uplifting demeanour to counter moonsik’s nagativity. the smaller boy had put the thought of his inevitable failing into his own head and there was likely nothing that han would be able to do to ease his worries.

he should be making the most of the short time that they had left together, huddled into the small bed. but instead moonsik’s words seemed to do nothing but bring his friend to tears.

moonsik sighed softly, reaching out to wipe at han’s face with the sleeve of the too-big shirt that he was wearing. “please don’t cry, hannie. you’re going to break my heart.” he tried to pat han’s cheek dry before giving up, curling into the side of his taller friend. “the world isn’t fair, han. it never has been. and it never will be.”

angel resisted the urge to move forward and flick moonsik’s exposed tongue, choosing instead to simply roll his eyes. “i never said it was easy, i just have my ways.” he replied, following the rapper deeper into the dorms and tossing his bag next to the couch.

watching moonsik, he waited until the other was comfortably under the blanket before plopping himself directly on top of him, uncaring of personal space. he was about to be hovering inches from his face, anyway, so he might as well be comfortable.

settling on top of the idol, angel reached down with a grin, unzipping his bag and placing his brushes and powders on moonsik’s chest. “god, you’re all bones. worst human couch i’ve ever sat on.” he complained with a laugh, pushing moonsik’s hair out of his face to get a better look at his canvas.

“i’m insulted that you’d think i’d make you look stupid. i’m gonna make you look pretty.” he grinned, applying moisturizer on his hands and gently rubbing it on moonsik’s face. “now close your eyes, loser, or your eyes are gonna burn.” 

he closed his eyes, quite content being able to settle back in for his planned upon nap. “mhm. your ways are slightly unsettling. i enjoy having privacy, you know.” moon was just about to curl back up when angel’s weight caused him to let out a small groan. so much for having a peaceful afternoon nap. 

“there’s an actual couch. or chairs. why sit on me if you’re just going to complain about it.” he opened an eye to peek at angel as he made himself at home. “wow. i guess i’m a couch and a table now, am i? glad i could be of some use.” he rolled his eyes, trying to settle himself back down as he got used to the weight of the other boy. “i guess ikea has a moonsik line now.” he grumbled under his breath as he stared up at the ceiling. 

Minho will be the first to admit he isn’t the most observant person ever. Han was pretty observant, since he seemed to always know whenever someone was up to mischief in the dorms or the company van or backstage of a music show. Their manager was also pretty observant, since he seemed to always know that Subin left clothes on the floor even though he didn’t enter their room. Minho’s observation skills weren’t on par to them yet, and he knew he could be a little late to catch the end of a joke, but he liked to think he was pretty decent. He could describe every room in Blue.M’s dorms pretty accurately, and he could likely draw the little rabbit on the wrapper for white rabbit candy with his eyes clothes. 

Something he was especially confident in recognizing was the pretty handwriting that marked every post-it note he received from the ghost. The writing swooped and curved like calligraphy; the first time he saw it, it reminded him of his grade school teacher who had the loveliest handwriting he had ever seen. He used to try and copy it when he was little, shaky, pudgy hand replicating curves and lines until he also had neat, pretty handwriting.

Seeing it in Moonsik’s hands felt. Strange. Like different parts of the narrative colliding. He reached a gloved hand out to pick up the post-it note from Moonsik’s hands, blinking slowly as he digested the unfamiliar words in familiar writing. 

I think that it’s time to tell the truth.

Minho glanced up, smile colored with confusion, before something clicked inside his head and his smile curled into a frown. “You…” He looked down at the note again. “You’re the ghost.”

it was if time froze as moonsik watched the series of emotions run across minho’s face, seemingly unreadable at first. he held his breath as the seconds ticked by, scared that the slightest move could be the catalyst of everything coming crumbling down around them. moonsik liked to think that he was usually good at figuring out the emotions that played out around him, but the anxiety kept him from being able to in that moment.

he hoped that minho would piece it together as he stood there with their usual post-it communication in the small palm of his hand. he watched, eyes wide as minho took the final note from his trembling hands. 

moonsik’s already pattering heart started beating even faster at the sight of minho’s smile as their eyes met. everything was falling into place perfectly. until the small smile faded into a frown, shattering moonsik’s heart into a million tiny pieces. “i...” he nodded quickly, tears begining to pool in the corners of his eyes.

the look on minho’s face said all that he needed to hear without any words. choi moonsik once again built his hopes up only to have them crushed. he should be used to it by down and still, this hurt more than it had any other time. 

moonsik wasn’t sure if he had ever actually experienced love. he surely hadn’t before he left home. there was something about haneul that might be close to it. but the second that moonsik laid eyes on the dark haired boy, he was convinced that this must be everything that love feels like and maybe even more.

even though his heart skipped a beat every time they so much as glanced in the same direction, it took ages for moonsik to gather the courage to approach soohyun. there was a little voice in his head that held him back every time he tried, convincing him that there was no way that somebody like kim soohyun would ever want something to do with a nobody like him. 

the pair had been training together for some time when han finally convinced moonsik to approach soohyun, inviting him to leave his solitude to spend time with the duo that seemed to be connected at the hip.

never in a million years did moonsik imagine that it would turn into anything more than that. but god, was he glad that he knew what it felt like to love kim soohyun. 

when he’d come out of his room to seek out moonsik, this wasn’t the conversation han had expected. usually, these late night conversations were lighthearted and fun, a way to release the stress of the day to keep going into the next one but tonight, the heavy feeling in his chest only continued to grow as he stared at moonsik, realizing what the other was saying.

‘while it still lasts’. that sentence drove a spear through the dancer’s heart, leaving him chewing on his lip as the weight of what moonsik was saying actually sunk in. from the moment he’d met the other, he’d hoped that they’d have the chance to debut together but what he hadn’t realized was that, at some point, he’d gone from hoping to expecting, and having that image shattered, even just slightly, left him feeling even worse than when he’d first entered the room.

“but what about what i want?” han was rarely the selfish type but, for once, he wanted to allow himself to be selfish, to allow himself to want something so bad that no one could tell him no. through this whole process, han rarely complained, rarely disagreed with anything the staff said so could he not have this one thing? “i can’t do it without you. and even if i could, i don’t want to. moon, i —”

he cut himself off, looking to the side as he felt his frustration and sadness bubble up dangerously in his throat. he didn’t want to cry, but the emotional and physical exhaustion he felt day in and day out from the brutal filming schedule made it hard to keep his emotions in check. “why are you talking like you’ve already given up?“

moonsik usually looked forward to nights spent together with haneul. especially after the stressful days that the two of them had been going through, it was a way to ease his worries, even if only for a moment. with his best friend beside him it was easy to forget about all of the worries of the world. but tonight there was something different. it was harder to forget about the ‘what ifs’ when their time together was so quickly drawing to a close. 

he knew that everyone had their ideas of what would become of the group. happy little visions of them all being able to debut together as a full team, but choi moonsik was a realist, and it was hard to be optimistic when the reality of the situation was staring him in the face. sure, moonsik had managed to improve during his time training under yuseong. but not enough to be on par with people like haneul. he was at a level that moonsik knew he would never be able to reach. and he had already convinced himself that it meant that his journey would very quickly be coming to an end. 

“the universe really doesn’t care about me and you, haneul. or what we want. we’re so lucky to have come this far. and i can’t wait for the day that i can see you on stage and tell everyone that that’s my best friend.” he sighed softly as he watched the evident frustration show on his friends face. moonsik knew that he shouldn’t upset him. but it somehow felt easier to prepare them both for the inevitable ending before they were ripped away from each other without any warning. 

officialphoenix: two surprises in one post

Minho pursed his lips at the thought of Moonsik’s special friend being disappointed in meeting him, a pout that displayed ever bit of disbelief and displeasure he had at the sheer idea of it. Moonsik was too good to be a disappointing outcome. What could possibly be disappointing about meeting a new friend and that new friend being Moonsik? The older idol was ridiculously handsome, with perfect features and a cute smile. He was kind and hardworking, one of the most hardworking people Minho knew. It was one of the things Minho really liked about him. The passion and sincerity in the idol’s work was breathtaking to Minho. Like every word and note and breath was weaved together with love. 

“I’m sure of it, hyung. If not…well, I’ll have Hannie hyung talk to them! He’s not here right now, but he’s really good at giving lectures. He gives them to us all the time!” The leader of Blue.M had chosen to stay behind at the dorm, but Minho was pretty sure his leader magic could still be pretty effective over FaceTime or something. 

“You do?” Minho cocked his head to the side, not unlike an earnest puppy seeing a bone for the first time. “Oh, oh hyung are you also friends with the ghost? Did they say so?”

he kicked at the ground absently, willing the words to come out of his mouth. it was so simple. all he needed to do was tell the truth. moonsik had managed to make it this far. surely there was nothing holding him back from what he had spent days working up the courage to do. 

a smile crossed his face at the mention of his friend. he hoped that han would approve. surely he loved his groups fake-maknae. he was sure that han would be excited as long as it meant that moonsik was happy. or at least he hoped.

“well...” he trailed off, tugging on his bottom lip with his teeth before nodding almost comidically fast. “yes. or, something like that, at least.” he reached into his pocket for the sticky note that he had carefully penned out that morning. he had made a point of using his neatest hand writing and adorning the sides with cute little floral doodles. he wanted to make sure that it was pretty enough to be rembered when minho thought of him. 

[i think that it’s time to tell the truth] 

even though he’d been staring at the door the entire time he’d been waiting for moonsik, angel still jumped as it swung open and revealed the person he’d come to see. instead of a smile, he found himself frowning at the other. “okay, first of all, don’t call me that. second, why are you asking so many questions?”

instead of waiting for a reply, angel gently pushed moonsik further back into the dorm and followed, kicking the door shut behind him. clearly, he had no issue making himself feel at home. “i don’t need your address to know where you live, moonsik. the internet is a wonderful place.” he explained, as if that was an adequate answer.

“i’m here because i’m bored, and i just know you weren’t doing anything productive, so here i am!” he continued, making a stupid little ta-da ! motion with his hands before bending down to take his shoes off. really, he’d taken a gamble on the fact that the other would be here, and was honestly quite surprised to be right. 

standing back up, angel smiled brightly, taking in the phoenix dorm. he’d managed to figure out where it was, but he had had no idea what it would actually look like — fairly similar to the select! dorms, but clearly more lived in. absentmindedly, he wondered if his own dorm would ever look so homely.

suddenly remembering the weight on his shoulder, angel swung his bag to the side to show it off to moonsik. “i brought my make up! i would do it on one of the select trainees, but it would be a waste. but you’ll let me do your make up, right? you can even nap while i do it!” he pointed to the blanket around moonsik’s shoulders, having guessed what the other had been up to before he showed up.

moon rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out. “am i not allowed to ask questions when someone shows up at my house when they’ve never been given my address?” he huffed, closing the door as angel quickly made himself at home. “if you found it that easily i’d be scared to know how fast other people could figure out where we live. maybe i’ll have to bring that up to our manager.” 

he kicked angel’s shoes off to the side, adding them to the small pile of other footwear in front of the enterance to the boy’s dorm. “is resting not productive? everyone always tells me that i should so it’s a little conflicting for you to show up here and say that i shouldn’t.” he waved his hand off in the general direction of the living space. “make yourself at home since you’re here. do you want a drink or anything?”