I wonder about so many things, so many thoughts racing left and right with no conscious destination. I'm enveloped in thoughts of you, and of him, and of her, and of all of them and so often they consume me and make me so aware that I have no idea what I'm doing. Every so often I take a step away from it all and wonder what would have happened if I had chosen differently in so many small situations. How would things be had I stayed at North, had I chosen a different concerto, had I said yes to you, had I said no to him, and then all around me I see winding twisting crossing paths of lives that cannot be simply because I chose the opposite of those decisions. You certainly can't go back it time, but time does repeat itself, and one day I'll stay where I am, and one day I'll play different concertos, and one day I'll meet you in a coffee shop elsewhere when we're both older and I'll say yes to you and no to him. But even then I will step away from it all and see those same twisting paths of what could have been. Eventually though those could be paths won't matter to me, because the path's I've chosen will be without a single doubt, what makes me happy. I'll find the right paths, and make the right small choices, and it will all make sense again.
