#wrong moral

Wrong Lessons I Learned:

Lesson from "A Christmas Carol": Bad mustard will give you an intense trip.

Lesson from "Peter Pan": Shadows are dicks.

Lesson from "Sleeping Beauty": Molesting comatose chicks will get you married, so don't do it.

Lesson from "Cinderella": Pretending to be rich will net you a rich husband, but only if you have small feet.

Lesson from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves": If you live in the woods long enough, some random girl will show up and clean your house.

Lesson from "Beauty and the Beast": If you're really ugly, the only way to improve your social standing is to get a really beautiful wife.

Lesson from "Little Mermaid": If you want him to listen, shut up.

Lesson from "Aladdin": If you pretend to be rich, you can net a rich wife, but only if you have a nicely dressed monkey.

Lesson from "Hansel and Gretel": It's okay to destroy an old woman's home and then throw her into an oven, since she's probably a witch.

Lesson from "Alice in Wonderland": Don't look too deeply into the holes of bunnies.

Lesson from "The Wizard of Oz": You can give people what they already have and not only will they be thankful for it, they'll also do random tasks to get it from you.