And when the night came, I saw girls just beneath the film of my fever, many as spider eggs. Under lightbulb moon, with nursery rhymes told all wrong, with catfish, lingering maternal horror, I took my girls in and did incubate. Not in the hollow of my hips, that is to ground up for formula powder. Nor in the cluster of rib-trunk through which whistles the distant hum of playground laughter. But from my back.Ā
They claw from me and out of me, until I am all plush, and afterglow, and leave me spilled out to play. Nothing left but viscera and milk, baby teeth, and sutures. My girls come with the sun and bring me fresh skin to soothe. Goodbye to polished shoes, hand-knit dolly knickers. Goodbye to sand under the fingernails. Goodbye to stiff frocks, to moon-white socks with the ruffle trim. My girls come to me sans eyes, pomegranate lips, bruised, swollen shut and smooth as sin in the legs, between the legs too! They wear hurt like cotton-candy. We all smell it. Fragments of girls with pretty winces. The audacity of it. They lie to me, easy. I know what mothers know, mothers and mothers of mothers. What market-woman, lady-woman, all woman, all know. How violence comes to woman-skin like the sun rises. Inevitably.ā
Pei Koroye is a Nigerian author based in the US, working on their first novel project AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A YOUNG ABOMINATION. Read more from Pei on Instagram: @thefemmechaotic, Tumblr: @criticalfacestudies and on YouTube at thefemmechaotic.