#writerblues

But I feel like I’m forcing something that won’t work. And I need it to work….so….

#caseofthemondays #writerblues #wheresmymojo

Day 145 of 365; Today marks the first year anniversary of the completion of my thesis entitled Pula sa Bahaghari; Mga Profile ng Modernong PLHIV bilang Naratibo (Red in the Rainbow; Profiles of Modern PLHIV as Narratives). It is now collecting dust in my shelf and I haven't been able to finish the edits before I submit the manuscript to a publisher since my laptop is broken. So I'm a bit sad and frustrated since the project has been put into a halt. But in retrospect, I realized that I wasn't doing the project then to tell the stories of my PLHIV friends; I was exploiting their narratives in order to prove something. Did I manage to prove anything? I wouldn't know, the only ones who have read this work were some trusted friends, my thesis adviser, and the panelists. Most of them have doubts about the work. I understood those doubts since I, too, have my own doubts regarding this work. But some were inspired by the work, what kind of inspiration? I wouldn't know either. None of them would tell me exactly what they thought of it really. But now that it's reduced into a pet project, I'm more confident and comfortable in rewriting this since I no longer need to impress some judging eyes. And perhaps, once I get a new laptop, I'll be able to finish this and finally do what I wish to do with this project; to tell the people that there is life after HIV diagnosis. . . . #day145of365 #perspectives #confessions #happyanniversary #firstbook #writerblues #photoaday

And more titles coming soon! #Repost @bethdrawsthings with @repostapp #writing #writer #writingmylifedown #strangerthanfiction #writerblues

...you see other one shots in the same genre that you’ve written, with four times the amount of likes on them and they’re not even close to the detail you pour into your stories. Am I too wordy? Do people not really give a shit about carefully crafted erotica where the author of which goes past her bedtime night after night because she tries so hard to please her audience, yet someone who bangs out seven paragraphs or less of smut gets like, 500+ likes per piece? I don’t get it and yeah, it’s really fucking disheartening when I try so damn hard and put so much effort in, not even gonna lie. 

Natalo ako. Dinamdam ko. Ang sakit; parang sa lahat na lang ng bagay ganito ang kinahahantungan ko. 

This is the tragic tale of Novus and Magnate