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#poetry #poems #prose #art #writings #writeitalldown #thoughts #things #words #deep #books #love #life #anthology #heart #mind #soul #declutter #connect #wander #imagine #feelings #emotions #express #speak #real #youth #create #creativewriting #instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/B4Cq5EfF0Sd/?igshid=mzr3cvx99fq1
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Leaving
Leaving. I haven’t ever been good at it. When I was young and drinking alot I would leave bars without saying goodbye. I would walk home down the snowy, Colorado streets completely drunk on my own. No one knew where I was. I liked that feeling. I liked knowing that I was on my own and that I could go as slow or as fast as I wanted. I could turn down alleyways and walk by the river. I needed to watch out for moose, but never other people. When I leave I don’t usually say goodbye.
Monday morning that is what I did. I had threatened it so many times. I had promised him if I even suspected he was drinking I would go. My last threat three weeks ago weighed heavy on my heart. I knew I meant it this time and it made me sad because I knew he thought it was going to be like all of the others. That I would take it back. So as he was screaming Monday and I grabbed my bag I don’t think I will ever forget his face. The brief surprise as I reached for the door. It quickly turned to anger. He started saying that’s it, that’s how you want to say goodbye. He laughed. I paused but only for a moment. I left.
He called right away. Laughing and mocking. How many times had I gotten this far only to turn around at this exact point? Countless times. I kept going. Within an hour he was frantic. I’m sorry. Come back. When I didn’t he went to the liquor store. That was when it got ugly. That day is going to be a hard memory for a long time. I hope not forever. I wanted to turn around and hug him but every time I did that I stayed. I don’t know how to say goodbye. I don’t know the right way to leave another human being. It hurts me that he didn’t understand it. It hurts me that he thought I would come back. Leaving hurts me.
#quotes, #agingwithgrace, #writeitalldown https://www.instagram.com/p/BsxGMSineHU/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=717pzirdmuxl
As term time assignments are around the corner, we chat about how our brains learn new info!
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Today is a good day to review where you’ve been, drawing from yesterday’s advice to face and process shadow and grief from the past. Face things honestly and without drama and let yourself see what was true as much as possible. See motivations and agendas for what they really were, try to find the benefit or lesson, then let them go — or if you aren’t ready to let the past go, practice putting it down and just letting it be. #tarot #oracles #runes #charms #divination #divinersofinstagram #maattarot #themusesdarling #witchesofinstagram #writeitalldown
🙌🏼 #2018 #theslimmingsquad #writeitalldown
Too many notebooks? -J #musicianlife #songwriter #writeitalldown (at Beachwood Canyon)
