#wretchedsoul

I have it stuck like I am gonna celebrate it all with you

How do I tell them they are only the one who's left with me..

No setback is going to stop me from becoming who I’ve always aspired to be!

I'll go first: We met at work and slowly became friends. I found myself getting attracted to his quiet nature and the way he started sharing little details about his life with me. I had always promised myself that I would never confess unless I was sure the feelings were mutual, so I kept everything to myself.

But our mutual friends had different plans. They somehow got him to confess his feelings for me, and I gave in too. It was one of the most beautiful days of my life. For the first time, I felt what it was like to be chosen, to have someone genuinely feel the same way about me.

As months passed, reality slowly started settling in. Conversations became dry, and I noticed he was opening up emotionally ...just not to me. Someone else seemed to know the deepest parts of him while I stood outside, trying to convince myself that maybe that’s just how he was. I stayed quiet because at least he was opening up to someone.

But eventually, my thoughts grew louder than my patience. Nights turned into silent crying sessions where I kept questioning myself how could I be a good partner if I couldn’t even become his safe space? I tried communicating this to him. I explained how important it was for me to know what was going on in his mind, not because I wanted control, but because I wanted closeness.

Promises were made, but nothing really changed.

Then one day, I told him, “I feel like I’m not good enough for you.” Instead of understanding the insecurity behind those words, he took it as the end of everything. No questions, no conversation just my overthinking used against me jokes were made laughing emojis were sent. He said things like, “It feels like I’m the only one trying to make this relationship work,” and “You make no effort to create a safe space for me.”

And just like that, it was over.

What hurt the most was how easily he wrapped it all up without even trying to understand my side. As if all my feelings could simply be reduced to “unrealistic expectations.” And then hearing him say, “I had a lot of expectations from you too, but that was my mistake,” broke something inside me.

I still wonder how someone who once made you feel so chosen can suddenly make you feel so misunderstood. Just months ago he was ready to move mountains and now he is here talking this nonsense and that was the time I had to choose myself over him. I had to choose me over us!

Writing loudly about this is like an unwanted guest coming over where people will straight up quote it out loud for you

"You would have never let them go if you actually loved them"

"Stop crying about it you don't even care."

If you cared you wouldn't have left! It is so difficult to show them the deepest oceans you crossed yourself to come to the edge. They don't understand how it feels to actually win but lose almost everything. Things come to a point where you have to actually explain you really love them but still choosing this option over. You sit back after a while and start to think that it was so shallow that you now have to explain the depth of it?!. You have to explain all the battles you fought with yourself to choose either yourself or to choose the other. You come to a decision to choose you and you are suddenly a villian of your own lovestory and who would love to hear this when you know how much you love them and nothing feels better than a silence then to prove you really love someone with your whole heart