#wren's posts

Consciousness

Your consciousness is the core of your being. It is what you feel when you look inside and say "that's me". It's the backbone of a sense of self.

I chose consciousness for the name because it feels the most general, but I believe this is what many religions call the soul, and IFS calls the Self. It is the seat of awareness and where volition and will comes from. You can consider it the container that all other aspects of the self sit in/tie to. When a headmate has a separate consciousness than you, you get the sense of "that is not me" when you focus on them. (This is different from the aspect of control, because this isn't something the headmate is doing) While not the only element to plurality, it is a very major one, and arguably a headmate can exist with a consciousness alone.

Creating a separate consciousness is the primary goal for most created system disciplines. It can be done by intentionally not allowing their consciousness to merge with your consciousness as it forms. Usually this is accomplished by treating them as separate consistently and over time while interacting with them.

I'll speak more about awareness next, but consciousness is NOT awareness. You must have a consciousness to be aware, but you don't need to be aware to have a consciousness. I know the names are kinda confusing, and that's because in most instances the two go together. In plurality though, that's not always true.

Awareness

Your awareness is what most people define as "being conscious". It is being aware of your surroundings and internal state and having an experience related to that.

Awareness is a strange thing, because it can't be forced into existence. It comes about naturally, as the sense of self becomes more complex and the headmate has more elements of self to speak to one another. This communication between aspects of the self is awareness. Its not a discrete thing on its own, but the product of other aspects of self.

Having multiple awarenesses is what's referred to as polyconscious. Sharing one awareness between headmates (multiple consciousnessess) is what's referred to as monoconscious. Split awareness is why sometimes headmates can be unaware of each other. Dissociative barriers can cause disruptions in awareness to the point of them not even touching. Headmates sharing an awareness or actively being aware of each other is usually referred to as co-conscious, co-fronting, or blended (multiple senses of self merged together), depending on the configuration. Because awareness is the product of a well-connected network, multiple awarenessess can only exist as a product of dissociation. (Remember, not all dissociation is disordered)

You can have a conscious headmate who isn't aware. This is what's usually talked about as independence vs awareness in Tulpamancy circles. A headmate can perform many independent actions, but not be aware. There are also degrees of awareness, where a headmate is only marginally aware. Dreams are a good reference for this.

Awareness is normally something I'd talk about last, because really its the glue that holds a sense of self together, and the last element to usually come about. Any element of the sense of self can be in or out of awareness. For example, someone could have disrupted awareness of their memory (story), but not have their story be separated from them. This would is an example of repression or forgetting.

Story

Your story is what I call pretty much any element of your identity that isn't an intrinsic part of your consciousness or your body map. This is a LOT of stuff. The entirety of what you'd consider "personality" is your story. Your behaviors are your story. Your memories are your story. Your name is your story.

I call it your story because it ultimately is formed from the stories we tell ourselves. All of your memories and thoughts and feelings form a narrative of your life, driving your personality.

Here's an example of how that might work. Say you have a memory of trying out skateboarding with your friends. You try to do a trick and fail, causing all your friends to laugh. Your story both dictates how you react, and the story you then form around this memory. If your story says "I'm an outcast and people don't like me", you're probably gonna think your friends are laughing at you and it reinforces your belief that people don't like you. Maybe you shrink on yourself and later stop talking to those people.

If your story says "I'm an endearing person and people find me funny", you're probably gonna think your friends are laughing about how funny your fail was, not at you, reinforcing your belief that your friends like you and find you funny. You might laugh along and interpret the event as something that strengthens your bond.

We are subjective beings by our very nature. There are no objective memories because what we remember is shaped by our expectations both now and then, and our awareness at the time.

You don't have to be currently aware of your story for it to affect you though. Awareness of your story can vary and is easily disrupted by trauma. There's different levels of awareness of story, like forgetting and repression, but there's also where the story is separated. Some examples don't have story separated between multiple consciousnesses, like dissociative amnesia. But in dissociative systems, story separated between consciousnesses usually results in story being kept out of awareness of different headmates, and even if some awareness is kept, different aspects of the story can be dissociated (emotional amnesia, somatic flashbacks, facts only, "I feel scared around xyz but I can't remember why"). In non-dissociative systems separated story usually has a shared awareness. Like how different headmates may act differently but can still remember how it felt to have another headmate in front. Having multiple awarenessess makes it less likely to have a shared awareness of memory, but it is very much possible.

Having a separated story is whats usually referred to as "separation" in plural communities. Consciously choosing beliefs and values that differ from other headmates, personality forcing, forming exomemories, spending time in front, intentionally tagging memories as "mine", and taking a new perspective on body memories are all methods of increasing story separation. You can also increase story separation through intentionally pushing away elements of other headmates stories that aren't yours.

Body Map

Your body map is your innate sense of what your body looks and feels like and how it should move. For most people this lines up pretty well with their physical body, and thus isn't really noticed. But there are some instances where this isn't the case.

Therians and otherkin, especially physical, are the most well-known examples of where this sense doesn't line up with the body. This can manifest in phantom sensations like tails or wings, species dysphoria, or feeling that your body is "the wrong shape".

Levels of distress when a body map doesn't match your physical body can vary. This is very well demonstrated with dysphoric vs non-dysphoric trans people. Both kinds of trans people can experience their body map not matching their physical body and experience euphoria at having the two be aligned, but dysphoric trans people are especially sensitive to the dissonance and experience distress when aware of it. BIID is another example of the body map not matching the physical body and causing distress.

Even in non-switching systems, insider headmates still have a body map. It's usually experienced as their appearance in headspace. Just like therians or trans people, this misalignment can cause varying levels of distress. Often headmates may be able to find euphoria in their appearance by changing their style.

Your body map is not only your expectations of what you should look like though. It is also how you move. If you want to change aspects of fronting like posture and speech patterns, that's body map work.

Often a system will experience movement dysphoria when a body map is "stuck" to front and has everyone act the same, usually as a way of masking. That stuck body map could be another headmate's, or it could be a fragment's, like a shell. Unsticking that body map is part of how you work towards posture and speech separation. This can be done through fronting regularly and in comfortable situations where you feel more free to drop the mask. But if your natural actions are already like the body's, you probably won't get much of a difference.

Control

Control is the sense that you performed an action or have ownership of a thought or feeling. When control is disrupted or split, you get senses of "I didn't do that" or "I didn't think that".

Control is mostly in two domains: body control and thought control. Body control is the sense of being the origin of movement, and thought control is the sense of being the origin of thought. You need to have a consciousness to take control, but you can lose control without having another consciousness take it. Awareness isn't necessary, but no awareness whatsoever usually isn't something related to plurality (think sleepwalking or common dissociative experiences like highway hypnosis).

So funny thing about the brain, it applies control retroactively. You perform an action first and then your brain decides if you actually did that or not. This is why dissociation can mess with your sense of "am I controlling my actions" so much while you're still actually controlling your actions.

It also means that control is really more of a sense than something you actually do. That doesn't mean its not real though. Different headmates can fight for control, and the changing of control is usually referred to as switching. The sort of willpower to combat your control is something that's generated by consciousness, and in headmate creation is a good marker of high development.

I said earlier that control has two different elements, body and thought. These do not necessarily go together. In plurality, someone having control of both body and thought is said to be fronting, or switched in. This is the stereotypical experience of front. Thought control without body control is usually referred to as some experience of possession. You can be aware and in control of your thoughts, but have another headmate controlling the body. The inverse is more rare; controlling the body and feeling that your thoughts aren't yours (usually some form of thought intrusion).

Control can be learned with one awareness by learning how to change who's consciousness is "primary" and the sense of control over thoughts. This is called thought swapping, and is an early step of learning switching. Usually forming a unique mindvoice is recommended for improving control as it gives a more obvious marker of who is speaking.