#wowzaitseef

7 months ago, the world was normal, save for one small lab in the middle of nowhere. The lab was ordinarily quiet and privately owned by the head scientist (and most likely his janitor too), but this was about to change. Pac was only beginning to pull on his coat and start his day when his janitor, the only other staff he ever had regularly around) alerted him to a van pulling into the driveway. The vehicle was almost entirely unmarked, save for a large insignia on the side that Pac knew at once: The Federation. He stepped back from the window, his eyes wide and his jaw clenched. He hadn’t been working on anything illegal- well, not recently- but there was no reason for the government to be on his ass this time. A car door slammed shut outside as both Pac and the janitor quickly pulled every blind down. 

“Calma, calma- It’s going to be alright Pac. You didn’t do anything wrong, what could they possibly want from you?” The janitor cooed softly to the other as he had begun to pace. 

Pac dug a hand into his hair. There were voices outside, but they weren’t distinct enough for him to actually make out words. “Fitchi- They don’t come here for no reason! They might kill me! Or us! Or you!” 

A hand gently clasped ahold of Pac’s, and another soon took his other. “I will protect you if it is the last thing I do, Pac,” Fit gently squeezed his hands. Pac hoped it never ever came to that. A knock at the door finally pulled them from each other’s eyes. 

Pac begrudgingly let go of his janitor’s (lover’s) hands and crossed the room to get the door. A masked employee greeted Pac blankly before stepping past him into the lab. Another employee followed, and Pac quickly noted that both had large guns within his view. Finally, a third fed followed behind them. This one was not visibly armed, but the chill dancing down Pac’s spine told him he didn’t need to be. This worker was still clad in the signature ghostly white of the Federation, but they wore their long white hair in a crafted bun atop their head. Their uniform was different, too. Instead of the smooth white masks of the grunts, this worker had an unsettling smile printed onto their mask and a pair of bear (he assumed) ears attached to the top. If Pac weren’t so on edge, he might have been able to admire the clear effort that had gone into their appearance. No more employees came in, but he doubted the Federation would waste a full van on three people.

“Can I help you?” Pac asked, straightening up his posture a little before slumping just slightly again. Fit’s firm hand found its way back into Pac’s. 

“Actually… you can.” The third employee spoke slowly and carefully, crossing to the centre of the room now. The other two flanked either side of them like the bodyguards they may well have been. “You see, the Federation has been keeping a close eye on this here…laboratory… for quite some time now and we think that, perhaps, you might be of some use to us.” 

Pac cocked his head to the side a little before looking over at Fit, who was equally as confused. It wasn’t like Chume was one of those major labs right now. They weren’t pumping out medicine, or drugs, or even anything really. Shouldn’t the Federation have their own labs? Fit squeezed his hand slightly. Pac returned it. 

“Perhaps you’re not understanding me-” The Bear, as Pac was now mentally calling them, effortlessly switched into Portuguese despite never having an accent in English. “Pac, você tem habilidades que a Federação pode usar. Nós precisamos de você.” (‘You have skills the Federation can use. We need you.’)

Pac blinked a second before just staring. “O que- O que vocês precisam?” His gaze flicked over to Fit quickly, which did actually help him calm a little. He could practically hear his voice even though he wasn’t speaking, his eyes said it all. Calma, Pac, calma. Pac steadied the slight shake in his hands– the only real tell that he was nervous at all– and let out a quiet but heavy breath. 

“Seu laboratório é muito útil, e você é muito inteligente, mas… você sabe disso.” Pac could practically hear the smirk lurking in their voice. (“Your laboratory is very useful, and you’re very intelligent, but… you know that.”)

“E? E o que você precisa?” He took a small step towards them and started to study their mask now that he was no longer trembling too much to see straight. Now he could see that this mask was even further different from those of the usual feds. This mask had actual eye holes behind a thin mesh that made up the dull eyes of the smile printed onto it. Something about this caused the hair on his neck to stand on end. He hadn’t even noticed previously that the plain white masks didn’t have eye holes, but now that he had, that shiny plastic (assumedly) would be burned into his brain. 

“Eu quero que você crie um vírus.” (I want you to create a virus.)

This chapter is just as horrifically gay as the last one but also jam packed with clues!!

Three things in this chapter are:

A ring

A visit

A text

Hi gay people!! HI!!

I finally wrote that Clownzy fic i was talking about like a week ago, so i hope you enjoy it!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58990255/chapters/158320810

This chapter has a lot of lighthearted and fun bits but is also full of foreshadowing :3 We're really upping the ante with this one.

Three things in this chapter are:

Lions

A car

Darts

I hope you enjoy the chapter, and if you do please reblog this, leave comments/kudos, and feel free to send me asks about it!!

Robotfuckers come and get your man

Spoilers for the newest season of pcfc below the cut!!

A continuation of Day 2

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Cell was still stuck in solitary after his “friends” had escaped. He was on day 5 of his second week, and it was just as miserable as he’d remembered. He was used to it though, it had begun to feel like home in all honesty. Those four walls and big, heavy door had been there with him for so long now he began to take comfort in them. The rickety bed wouldn’t tell his secrets to anybody, and the solid concrete walls kept out unwanted intruders. The door would tell his secrets, he knew that. There was a little flap that sometimes opened to give him food or talk to the guards. It told them too much. He thought he honestly might prefer it if the door was just gone entirely. At least his beloved queridinho was back and safe. 

Pac and the others had been recaptured a few days after their initial escape. The door wasn’t very good at keeping the guards’ secrets, either. What a gossip! 

At least knowing Pac was safe brought him some comfort in that small room. Mike was alive too, which Cell could live with for now, same with Guanxinim. Apparently his queridinho had even stabbed a guard on his way out! It was heartwarming, really, it seemed like even the door was proud of Pac. The more Cellbit thought about it, the more he figured that light conversation with it might not hurt too badly. While the door may have been a snitch and a bastard, it was definitely a good listener. 

And so Cell began to talk to it. 

You don’t talk to the door while it’s speaking- That gets you told off from whatever’s on the other side of it. Cell had already figured that out. Sometimes, it gave him food, other times it didn’t. He didn’t care either way, he’d find a way to make do. When the door’s mouth was closed, though, it gave Cellbit free reign to talk. He talked to it about lots of things, but his favourite thing to tell it about was his queridinho. It didn’t seem to care much, but it was nice to get it out of his system. 

He’d tried to tell it about freedom before, too. A voice on the other side had laughed- actually laughed. Didn’t he know Cell had a lover outside of these walls to get to? Granted, he was only out in the general population of the prison, but that’s all the further Cell could handle him being. He was going to get back out of here, goddamn it, and he was going to kill Mike and Guanxinim for trying to steal his boyfriend! The door just laughed again. What a bitch. 

Just as Cell was gearing up to take a swing at the door for its awful attitude, a familiar voice came in close to the door’s mouth and opened it just slightly to speak through it. 

“Remember this, for me, will you?” 

Felps. 

There were several clicking sounds before Cell was met with a blinding light- Or maybe it was just regular light that felt blinding due to the weeks in darkness. The door had opened, and he wasn’t going to fumble this escape. 

“I’ll give you ten minutes to run, then I’m calling the other guards. Your time starts…now” 

And so Cell ran.

This chapter picks up shortly after chapter 2 and has a little twinge of Spiderbit in it alongside some tender Slimariana!

1) Mariana un-dies (again) 2) A high-speed chase 3) A phone call

A continuation of days 7, 13, and 14

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Cellbit had a rather restless night, but that was nothing new. You try sleeping next to a rather handsome man you know nothing about while your best friend is trying not to bleed out too much. Roier, however, seemed completely unbothered by the whole thing. Cellbit probably could have counted on one hand how many times he moved. When he did shift, Cellbit was able to pick up on a slight grimace each time. Other than that, he seemed so peaceful despite all that had happened that day. It made Cellbit almost sick to him so pleasantly content, but at the same time he was glad to see him holding up as well as he was. It wasn’t often you found a lone survivor still, well, surviving. 

Cellbit had been that lone survivor at one point. It was closer to the beginning of the End, but he had stayed alone for the better part of three months. It was only when Felps had found him completely battered from a rough run-in that he relented and joined the camp. The more he thought about it, he hadn’t been entirely alone, since he had a few people looking out for him even if they weren’t in close proximity. Roier, however? It seemed like he truly had nobody. In the several hours they’d known each other, Cellbit couldn’t recall him actually mentioning any friends besides Mariana, but they hadn’t seemed like they’d seen each other in a while when they’d reunited. 

He looked over at him now as the sun was beginning to creep over the horizon and the light danced across the back of his head, as he’d elected to sleep on his stomach. It looked rather uncomfortable, but if it worked it worked. As Cellbit lay next to him, contentedly listening to the dull snores of his friend a few feet away, he felt his own wave of relaxation wash over him. Despite it being so early in the morning, he knew someone had noticed their absence by now and would either have something small prepared for them to make sure everyone was alright or were already on their way to find them. As the sun reached higher and higher into the sky, the temperature around them began to increase. 

Cellbit took another soft look at Roier before carefully getting up and starting the van. It was still rather cold, but the van’s heater would be able to at least supplement some of the warmth. He pulled his jacket a little tighter around himself as he peeked through the windows to try and get his bearings. He’d been on enough expeditions that he was mostly able to navigate the Wasteland by now, which proved useful in these situations. He ran through the motions of the previous night as well as he could before turning the vehicle around and starting in the direction they’d come from. 

He drove in silence for several minutes before he heard rustling in the back. He slowed down a little and peeked back to see Roier sat upright and looking around. Cellbit would have loved to sit there and take in the domesticity, but he was driving a moving vehicle at 45 miles per hour (72 kilometers/hr) so he had to turn his eyes back to the landscape ahead of him. To his surprise (and perhaps joy, too), Roier, still wrapped in tarp, came and sat down in the passenger seat next to him. 

“Sleep well?” Cellbit hummed, glancing over at him again. He was a mess. His hair stuck up at odd angles and his eyes still had that vacant look of sleep in them. It was beautiful. 

Roier grumbled and flipped him off. Cute. Cell nodded a bit and looked back out the windshield. 

Felps didn’t wake until they were back at the camp, but Cellbit hadn’t really expected anything else. His wound still needed a proper cleaning, and he’d honestly be more surprised if he didn’t wind up with an infection. It sucked, but it was their normal. 

They pulled up to the camp as everyone was finally becoming properly awake. The two people keeping watch over the entrance wheeled aside the heavy gates that shielded the camp once Cellbit rolled down his window to show he wasn’t actually a Fed. He parked the van close to the group’s other vehicle and helped Roier get Felps out. Soon, Felps would have to head to the medical tent and get looked at by someone who actually knew what they were doing, but Cellbit wanted to get in a few last words with his friend before then. 

“If you die, I’ll fucking kill you” Cellbit smiled and pat Felps’ back. 

“I’m not dying, and if I were to, you wouldn’t get away from me that easily”

Both men let out a slight chuckle as Cellbit pulled Felps into a hug. Felps hissed a bit as he hugged his friend back, but he gave him a firm clap on the back before letting go and letting one of their other friends pull him back to the infirmary. Roier came up beside Cellbit once he’d walked away. He had his bandana back over his face, and Cellbit tried not to frown behind his respirator. 

“You two seem close” He hummed, leaning against the van. 

Cellbit shrugged. “Always have been, really. You and Mariana seem close too.” 

Now Roier shrugged. “We used to be a lot closer. Back home, mostly, but it’s different now.” 

Cellbit was quiet for a second as he chewed Roier’s words. “So you’ve really been out here on your own all this time?” 

He nodded. 

“How in the world did you survive like that?” 

This time Roier took a pause as he looked down at his shoes. “It’s easier when you have someone out there you’re surviving for”