#worstweek

Monday the 8th of November, I texted you in the evening asking how you felt about getting chest pains. The sun had reached a subliminally high peek and though it was in the evening, sweat was dripping from everyone's faces. Like the heat that night, my mind was hot in thought about you, from the events of the previous weekend, positioned in the parking lot in River Walk, beneath the flickering lights.  You responded hours later because in your world, time does not exist and you live on your own terms. I never took the time to understand this, until I picked you up for prom and you were late in coming out. Only then, did I understand that for someone so precious, so Devine yet endlessly beautiful, time is required to perfect it.  Though you responded, our conversation did not last a subtle while, due to the power cut on my end of town.  The world didn't conspire for Romeo and Juliet to be together and their rivalry between their family resulted in them taking their lives to live in an internal world, where they could be together. Much like them, the world didn't conspire against for us to talk that night, so you retrieved to your slumber and i waited in those infinite number of hours for the power to return. It never did.  Tuesday the 9th of November, I said " Hello" to you and you attempted the overly controversial Adele Challenge on me. We got as far as the second line before you started to talk about pineapples, and I remember laughing and you foolishness, laying down on my bed. I never understood your love for pineapples until I researched the basic information about them. They are sweet, as so are you, but you refuse to believe this. Pineapples grow in your favorite season which is also the same time when your birthday falls in.  You went further to tell me about your obsession with winking, and how you wink at everyone. Undeniably, I got upset that you wink at everyone because I thought that was our thing. You reassured me that you only wink at your best girl friends and just me and somehow that pleased me. The winks you give me make me melt in my stomach and if anything ever lived in my stomach, it slowly deteriorated away because your general existence makes me melt.  Later, you asked if I wanted to get naughty with you. My thoughts were filled with a million scenarios. I thought this was you answering my question I had posed last weekend but I learnt not to analyze things before understanding the full question. So I got upset, for the second time that night.  You made it hard to stay upset at because you are you and I am me and we will always be this. So I let it go. I reassured you that Payback is imminent, even though we had a great laugh.  Wednesday the 10th of November, the heat wave increased and I hated myself a little bit more. You told me to take my pills to school but I forgot, so I collapsed at school, but I never told you. There is a sense of embarrassment in this because I'm incapable of doing certain things most teenagers can without taking pills every five minutes. I came home early that day and missed my classes.  The day was gloomy and nothing made sense. The word was not kind to anyone existing so it continued to punish us for our sins with this heat.  I thought of you for the millionth time that day. I looked for an excuse to text you, so I sent you goofy pictures complaining about your prank from the other night. You were low, I could tell my your respond.  We didn't talk Wednesday night, and somewhere out there, a terrorist was plotting several bombings in Paris that we would only find out about three days later. An earthquake was approaching Japan and a F#cken truck was preparing itself to carry primary school students to their homes In two days, which will crash on the way. * sigh *.  It was not a good day.  Thursday the 11th of November. I didn't get much sleep the previous night because I kept thinking about you and how you were. My little sister named the puppy Midnight and the moon was slowly approaching as I continued to think of you.  We didn't talk the entire day, and that, lowered my mood because I was worried. You were there, and I was here, and I couldn't help.  A series of events in the world were about to occur and there was nothing I could do to prevent them. But mostly, the one that affected me the most, was not being able to help you.  I had a test that day and i missed all my lessons that day to study for it because I didn't sleep the previous night.  I called my dad to bring my pills to school because I forgot them again and I missed my test. I set in the bathroom booths and missed my test because I didn't want to collapse again in front of people and be known as that guy.  I'm retaking the course again next semester. My life!  I left you a long text on whatsapp, I hope you saw it and let it ignite your bones.  Friday the 13th of November. The date needs to introduction and Paris was bombed. Japan had an earthquake and kids in Botswana were tumbled over in a truck and my sister wasn't my sister anymore because of some guy.  You told me what was going on and suddenly your problem affected me the most. How can life be so unfair to the ones who least deserve it most? There were no clouds in the sky and it threatened to rain but non of the mentioned above occurred. What a teaser.  I stayed on the floor and watched as some guy took the life out of my sister. How pathetic. Some big brother I am.  I prayed that night like I do every night. I prayed for you. God, I prayed for you.  I prayed for the world, and it's need to have sick people in it.  I prayed for my sister. Man, I prayed that she makes it through this.  I stayed up all night and things got bad again in my head. I didn't want to wake you, so I did things, to numb away the pain. I mean tumblr by the way.  Saturday the 14th of November, I took my sister out the entire day and we went go-karting. I let her win and I remember you yelling at me for not letting you win. I made it up to you with kisses and I miss those days. I let Michelle win. She got tired of me and went out with her friends while I went to the hospital because I had a bruised face. My parents asked, I just told them it was side effects of the new pills.  Sunday the 15 of November, I woke up and saw a text from Lame at 2AM asking me if I'm awake.  I don't know what's going on, but she said she will tell me tomorrow. I sincerely hope she's okay because she sounded really low. But I'll take care of her enough for the both of us. You focus on getting better.  I went to church in the morning and again later for evening mass. The pastor said he will be done with his sermon in an hour, but three hours later, we were still there.  I sat on my bed and thought of you. I thought of you.  I wrote this. Because I thought of you.  I listened to Justin Bieber's new album and man, that kid is great. I wish you were here to listen to it with me.  I watched the Fault In Our Stars without you and and Hazel said there are a number of infinities days. There are. At least, I would like to think they are.  So what you are going through right now. What Lame is going though. What I am going through. What Michelle is going through. It's not infinite.  It's debilitating. It's hard. It's lonely. BUT it's not infinite. It's not a forever thing.

Little vent