The Worst of 2020
Yeah, I know. This list is coming way too late. Still, I thought you might enjoy it.
10. After We Collided
Itâs a tradition on his blog to save the #10 spot for a movie thatâs âso bad itâs goodâ. There were a couple of contenders in 2020 but Iâm going to go with After We Collided. This movie is such a wild departure from the first, itâs hysterical. I don't mean that the first was "good" and this one "bad". I mean the tone and the plot. The very first scene retcons the ending of After and demotes Hardin from âhappily ever afterâ to living under a bridge like a troll. There are many unintentionally funny moments or structural problems with the movie that make it a laugh-riot. My only regret is that when I got my friends to watch it, we were all in different rooms and had to discuss it through video call afterward. I didn't get to hear their groans as Tessa scored the job of a lifetime, the kind that doesn't exist in real life, or the laughs when the "Jacob" of this series showed up. Its missteps scream âfrom the Wattpad fanfictionâ. Itâll never become a cult classic unless the next movie gets even crazier but I had enough fun for me to look forward to After We Fell.
9. The Last Days of American Crime
Iâm as shocked as you are to see The Last Days of American Crime as the #9 worst movie of the year. It deserves to be on the list⌠but this âlowâ? Unfortunately, yes. While this movie is boring and dumb, at least I can understand why someone green-lit it. In an alternate universe where this didnât get 0 stars and was merely bad in an average way, I could picture it being remade or ripped off, and its descendant being good. In the meantime, this is just plain awful, a cataclysmic waste of time. Unlike #10, don't go near it.
8. The Wrong Missy
The Wrong Missy gave me essentially everything I thought it would. Even so, itâs unforgivable. This isnât the rapiest movie on this list but that doesn't matter. Itâs tired, unfunny, and phony.
7. John Henry
I was tempted to leave John Henry off the list because I didnât think anyone wouldâve seen this movie, even with the star power of Terry Crews and Ludacris. Then, I saw it for sale inside a Sunrise Records. I need to remind you of how awful this film is. Anyone with any kind of sense would turn it off minutes in and if youâre wondering, no, even with Ludacris playing a laughable flamethrower-themed villain with a piece of metal bling on his face, itâs never bad in a funny way.
6. Fantasy Island
This one had potential but Blumhouse squandered all of it. This film made money. Iâm sure despite its scathing reviews, Fantasy Island is being talked about as a franchise starter by the studio executives. To them, I say please donât. This movie canât even keep track of its own simple rules and its âspooky revelationsâ are nonsense. It isnât the least bit scary and I canât imagine audiences will be dumb enough to hop on board another trip to this âbe careful what you wished forâ paradise.
5. Survive the Night & Hard Kill
Iâm putting these two in the #5 spot because theyâre basically twins. Two Bruce Willis-led action thrillers with zero budget, zero ingenuity, zero reasons to exist, both directed by Matt Eskandari. They prove the Die Hard star doesnât care about anything but the paychecks he gets. These movies are born out of spreadsheets; columns of numbers that confirm a beloved action star in a movie - no matter how poorly advertised or bad - will draw a certain audience. Big box stores will sell X copies based on the name alone and no one cares about anything else. If they donât, why should I?
4. Mulan
Unlike the other films we've discussed so far, Mulan  looks great. The special effects are convincing, the costumes are a sight to behold. So what? No one would choose this adaptation over the original Disney movie. If youâre not into animation or music, there are plenty of other adaptations that don't require you to pay $30 for Disney+ premium access. I bet none of them have a lead as uncharismatic or uninspiring as this one. I donât know what writers Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Lauren Hynek, and Elizabeth Marin were thinking, turning an ordinary woman that used her wits to become a hero⌠into someone born with superpowers. You canât relate to her, none of the side characters are interesting or memorable. It even botches the villain, who is about as threatening as a baby panda. This movie is part of not one, but two trends that I hate: âupgradingâ animated films by making them live-action, and pandering to Chinese audiences - who rejected the movie anyway. Wonder how the people in the Xinjiang internment camps felt about this one?
3. Dolittle
Like Mulan , this movie had the money and the star power it needed. After ending his career as Iron Man/Tony Stark on a high note, we all wanted Robert Downey Jr. to move on to great things. Instead, heâs reaching into a dragonâs anus shoulder-deep to unclog its digestive system and then get a big fart in the face. Even before then, this movie contains enough annoying talking animals and out-of-place, would-be funny references to modern/pop culture to make it clear itâs one of the yearâs worst movies.
2. Artemis Fowl
I can only imagine just how mad fans of the book were when they saw Artemis Fowl butchered like this. Iâm furious and I had no attachment to it whatsoever. You can feel this plot trying to break free from the shackles Disney imposed on it and failing. Itâs obvious Artemis Fowl is a villain, but heâs turned into a hero because ... ? Turning him "good" doesn't even work either. Heâs a smarmy brat whose dad was kidnapped because some shadowy villain wants a shiny egg that does⌠something? This entire ordeal was poorly conceived; from the âgiant dwarfâ played by Josh Gad who unhinges his jaw so he can eat dirt and then shoot it out of his ass, to the useless secondary characters, the half-baked mythology, and the convoluted plot. I canât believe it only lasts 95 minutes. It felt so much longer.
Runner-Ups:
The Babysitter: Killer Queen
This is a perfect example of a sequel that missed the mark so badly, itâs embarrassing. There are many other films I shouldâve considered putting on my âworst ofâ list before this one but most of them were zero-budget movies no one saw; movies destined to be forgotten no one goes in with any expectations. I hate this movie as much as I do because the first is clever and fun. This is a desperate attempt to bring the dead back to life so clumsy you'll want to stay away from the original.
Antebellum I have to give credit to one aspect of Antebellum; whoever put together that trailer did a bang-up job. We all thought this was going to be the next Get Out. Instead, we got a movie that almost says something about⌠historical re-enactments? Boy was this movie contrived, and for what?
Pets United I havenât heard anyone talk about or mention Pets United since its release. Thatâs great. Itâs ugly, badly acted, badly animated, badly written. On the downside, it means no one knows what Iâm talking about when I complain about this abomination. I canât get over how lazy it is. During the climax, the villainâs giant mechanical spider gets a limb caught in a conveyor belt. Thankfully, itâs much too big to fit in the furnace this belt leads to. At best, the heroes will have a few moments to come up with a better plan to defeat it. Cut to them. Cut back to the spider, itâs now in the furnace, getting melted. Wow.
We Can Be Heroes I guess Iâm in the minority when it comes to We Can Be Heroes. I thought it was awful. Generally, audiences seem to enjoy it, which is why thereâs a sequel in the works. Am I the only one who was appalled by special effects that look like they come from a phone app? What about the performances? Are we just giving those a pass? How about that twist ending that makes no sense? Has no one else seen other superhero movies, seen how good they could be? Why are we letting this sloppy effort slide?
Love Wedding Repeat I donât know what writer/director Dena Craig was thinking with Love Wedding Repeat. It begins as one of these generic âIâm reconnecting with the one that got away at the wrong timeâ and then 2/3 of the way in stops the ongoing train wreck, and restarts, showing us the âgood timelineâ. If youâre only going to show two results, why bother? Itâs the limpest attempt at a time travel rom-com Iâve ever seen.
A Fall From Grace A Fall From Grace is the other 2020 movie I think might be worth checking if youâre into âso bad itâs goodâ movies. Unfortunately for you, it's been âimprovedâ since its initial release to remove several mistakes (including bad acting from the extras, visible boom mikes, and continuity errors), which makes it âbetterâ and therefore, less fun. Thereâs still plenty for you to enjoy ironically, however. My favorite aspect of the film is the ending, which makes NO SENSE. Well, unless youâre in a courtroom drama and the defense attorney is the worst lawyer whoâs ever seen the light of day. Itâs worth seeing just so you can hear âAshtray, bitch!â in action.
1. 365 Days
First, there was Twilight, which mightâve had some contrived drama and dodgy performances, but served a purpose. Some might even call it good. At the very least, it tapped into a certain demographic's desires successfully. Then, someone went along and said âYeah, but I donât like this theme of chastity and waiting for marriage. Can they bang? Actually, can every scene be about them having sex? And instead of a vampire, could he be a deranged millionaire with a shattered past that makes him dangerous?â People cried foul, calling it sexist and unhealthy. Then, 365 Days comes along and says âHold my beerâ. Massimo Torricelli isn't a potential lover; he's a criminal. Not just a murderer; a kidnapper and a rapist! Oh, the movie doesnât realize thatâs what itâs showing us, but it is. This movie is disgusting. If you even have the misfortune of being in the same room as someone else while it plays, youâll pray for an earthquake to open up the ground and send you straight to hell. At least two hours in a fiery inferno getting molested by demons would prove thereâs a world beyond ours. The only thing this "erotic romantic drama" is good for is shrivelling your genitals.
