Apr 12, 2025
I Love You Doctor Ho! n.80 “Worm School” by Archie Silver.
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I Love You Doctor Ho! n.80 “Worm School” by Archie Silver.
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WORM #2: CRYSTALLINE LOVEBUG
The CRYSTALLINE LOVEBUG is an elusive worm…
Plagued by its sadness, it spends its days in the old jewelry box that it lives in. The only thing it ever eats is the dust that collects on the necklaces in the box. It believes that those necklaces are its siblings, and feels obligated to take care of them.
Due to it’s poor diet, it’s forced to feed off the energy in its heart. It gets slower and slower everyday. Despite this, it keeps moving on, and will only die once it has lost all of its motivation.
WORM #1: PRIMARY LEARNWORM
If this worm’s appearance didn’t clue you in to its love of learning, its personality sure will, because that’s all it ever talks about.
Connoisseur of “edutainment” software, the PRIMARY LEARNWORM is maybe the biggest loser in the books, which is coincidentally where it lives.
The worm’s diet consists almost exclusively of lined paper and crayons, which gives its insides the unfortunate effect of being both crunchy and waxy at the same time.
Its appreciation of 3rd grade educational material gets it so giddy that it won’t stop consuming the content. Thus, it rarely ever sleeps, only falling into slumber when it no longer has the energy to move on.