#workingthroughshit

Today's work face but with my jammies lol I had like no time today! #workinghard #workingthroughshit #makeup #makeuplook #jamescharlespalette https://www.instagram.com/p/BtIlTiSlH1L/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1euq2uqlqft8p

Been kinda absent, going through a lot right now so I haven't been up to sharing much. Good news is I have therapy next week so I can start getting back on track. Found this pic in my photos suggestions and thought I'd share cause I really miss my hair :') 💚 anyway~ night y'all, hopefully things will start looking up.. #goingtobedlate #workingthroughshit #igotthis #therapy #stayingpositive https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs-ymQwFnTt/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ruzrnvh2vab

Because at this point I don't know if I'm good enough. I've lost so much these past two weeks, and I just don't even know if I'm good enough, not because I don't think I'm good enough in a caring or loving way- more so in the I don't know if I'm good enough with all my good traits for someone to love my dark side too. Because my dark side is big, no matter how much I run it keeps stepping in. No matter how positive I am, things Still go to shit. I just don't think that a guy will find me worth going through all of that, that stormy, rainy stuff just for a couple days of sunshine. And It's more than even that. .. it's also because I never want to put someone that my heart could fall for, through that. So I guess really... I'm more scared that someone could find me worth it, and that I would push them away because of everything I've been through, for fear of hurting them, and putting them through what I've been through. And that's truly terrifying. Because I never want anyone to see my dark side, and to ever have to go through or feel pity for what's happened. I guess that's my true fear. The fear that someone could fall for me... and that I would cause them the same hurt.