[Idk if anyone is reading this but just wanted to get this off my chest and put it out there in case it helps someone else!]
So I left Tumblr for a while, still barely around on here unless I’m looking for specific motivation because most of my friends have left Tumblr and all. But I am still fond of my pages so here goes...
Since my last update I’ve gotten my bachelor’s degree, work full time in the field I studied and have wanted to work in for most of my life, and ended a 4+ year long relationship that wasn’t serving either me or my ex anymore. That being said, my health both mental and physical sort of fell by the wayside. But now, I’ve been seeing a therapist regularly, have appropriate diagnoses and help for my PTSD and ADHD, and am figuring out my medical support for the ADHD with my medical practitioner. TODAY I want to start hop back on the healthy lifestyle I used to have, without forming an unhealthy obsession with calorie counting, and without losing sight of my other goals.
I’m hopeful that with the right medication and continued therapy I’ll be able to prevent myself from getting fixated on one aspect of my life and letting the rest slip away. I am ALSO aware that I will hit road bumps along the way, that this will NOT be a smooth journey. While this makes me weary/anxious I feel determined to persevere and believe in myself to do so. I have learned to give myself grace when I need it, being kind to myself. I’ve planned to find other activities to do when I can’t find the will to give my body the movement it needs instead of giving up and then feeling guilty and punishing myself. I’m going to avoid this viscious cycle by choosing to go for walks and/or doing yoga at home when I can’t click play on the workout I plan to follow.
Regarding my fitness journey, instead of jumping head-long into an aggressive workout like Insanity (which I used to do after not working out for a while almost as a way to punish myself), I’m choosing something a bit more joyful! I’ll be starting Let’s Get Up, a dance workout by Shaun T! So on days I can muster the time and energy I will dance because dancing has always brought me joy. On days where my mental health is getting in the way of that I will go for walks and/or do yoga/stretching inside! I deserve consistency from myself, but I also deserve kindness and I’m hoping this time around I can build habits and a life-style that benefits both my mental and physical health and can stay with me for a lifetime. I don’t want my mental and physical health to hinder me anymore. I want to create balance and joy in my life. For myself.