#workanswer

(2) in my current state of living i feel like the military is the only way to go, or am i too… worthless, even for a last-resort route? i dont assume you to have answers but maybe someone else might?

Hey there. I am Australian and don’t know a lot about the US military, but I have an American friend who has a lot of family members in the military, and so I asked her for some input. This is what she had to say:

Okay, so they do do a health screen before you can enlist for both health and mental illnesses. I am not sure what passes and what doesn’t. My first piece of advice though is to figure out for sure why you would be joining. Are you doing it just because it seems like a last option and your family are pressuring you into it?

If so, do you actually want to go into the military? True, there are a lot of benefits, such as schooling and pay, and it’s also a great stepping stone for getting into a lot of great careers. But there’s a lot of crap too. Sometimes it’s a struggle to get the schooling that you want because of budget cuts or other stupid reasons, and you have to take classes you don’t like, because they’re the only ones that fall into the list of accepted courses. 

You can pursue your career, but you can’t always take the classes that you might want to. I had siblings on both ends of the spectrum and it can get pretty ugly sometimes. It’s a two sided coin just like any other job. 

Second piece of advice, you should talk with your doctor/therapist/whoever you see for your illnesses and have them go through whether they think that it would be a viable career option for you. 

Third, before you get into any of it, take some time to find other viable career options so that you know going in that the military isn’t the only thing you have left, and so if you can’t enlist you are already prepared with some other options. 

Fourth, what branch do you want to get into? Different branches may have different requirements to meet. The lifestyle will be different and future benefits will also be just a little bit different. 

Fifth, last, and probably most important, only look into the military if it is something you genuinely wants to do. Not because it’s a last option, not because your family is pressuring you. Do it only if you really want to do it. If that’s the case, then look into it and see what you can do, and if you can do it.

And don’t get me wrong, there are some really great benefits. There’s good pay and school benefits, career experience and training. There’s a whole plethora of things that goes into it. I’ve got two brothers who have turned it into their career of choice and they are very happy. I have two others who didn’t mind being in the military but are happy to be done with it. It really depends on the person. 

Also there are the after-effects of being on active duty that you have to think about, such as being away from family and friends for extended periods of time, as well as PTSD and other illnesses that happen in extreme situations, moving to active base assignments, officers positions, and the yearly testing/checkups to be considered acceptable for active duty. 

So, the tl;dr version is: There are a lot of benefits and you can make a good career out of it, but it can also be really terrible. It’s going to depend on you as a person. But if it’s not something that you genuinely want to do, you’re probably going to have a bad time of it regardless. You also need to consider the impact that active duty would have on your mental health, and whether or not it is worth it.

There are other options. You can attend a community college, a trade school, a work experience programme. If you have a therapist, you can ask them to help you find other means of training and employment. You may also be able to find a programme that helps people with disabilities find education and employment. Have a look around for programmes that exist in your area.

You are not worthless. You are a person and you are living right now. That gives you worth. Your worth doesn’t reside in your ability to have a job or be “useful”. You are worthy because you are here now, you exist, and you are living despite all the things that make living hard. You have worth because you are a person.

Whatever you end up doing, know that it does not prove or negate your worth. Your worth already exists inside you.

(2) absolutely ZERO idea of what to do. Even though I took courses to enter the school, I was hoping to not get in so I could be forced to seek guidance and chose something else. I entered, and after feeling the absolute worst and trying my best to avoid my mom’s comments about my health and emotional state in general (I threw up several times-which is a first even though I stressed out quite a bunch back in hs), I decided to finally open up about it. I had never felt more humiliated in my ©

(3) but I am sort of happy I actually talked about it (even though I could have done it SO MUCH earlier). Now, I don’t know where to start looking? I don’t really like anything in particular, and even though I get good grades, it’s bc I study very hard, since I feel I’m sort of mediocre at everything. Sorry if this is long and kinda pointless? Idk if you have something that could help at being sincere with whatever person I chose to look for help? Sorry for the rant and congrats on the blog! :)

Hey. 

Good for you for opening up to your Mum. I can imagine how hard it was. It was really brave of you to do that. Letting it out is always a big relief in the end.

I recommend asking a guidance or career counselor if they have a test for you to take to help you get started. I am not sure what they’re called and the name probably varies place-to-place anyway, but basically, this test will examine your strengths, what motivates you, your learning style etc and it will point you in the direction of areas of industry that may be good for you. My sister and I took one a while ago and she got caring for people or animals and I got engineering, IT and science. 

From there you can research any of the suggestions that sound appealing to you. You should search for things like “Types of jobs in (engineering)”, “A Day In The Life Of ___”, “What’s it like to be a ___”, etc. 

Remember that this is work, it’s not play. It’s great if you have a passion that you can make a career out of it, but most people don’t and that’s totally fine. You should look for something that engages you and that you enjoy, but you don’t have to be bursting at the seams with joy for it. You have time outside of work to find things that make you feel that way too. 

You can probably find these kinds of tests online too, but it would be more beneficial for you to be able to talk about it and explore different options with someone who is trained to point you in the right direction, if that option is available to you. 

If this still doesn’t help you decide, you can sign up with a temporary job agency and ask for one-off or short-term jobs so that you can, in a way, “trial” different areas of industry first hand and see what you enjoy and what you don’t. You can also do this through volunteering- which will have more options. Sometimes knowing what you don’t want is just as valuable as knowing what you do want. A good agency may even have the test I was talking about above too. 

Hello. 

On the left-hand side of our blog, we have a list of links. One of them is called Self-Help. All of our worksheets and links to other useful websites are categorized in there. There’s also a link called Answers Directory that has a lot of Asks that we have previously answered, including those relating to employment. If you are accessing our blog through your mobile, we have a mobile links page that lists all of our links there. If these aren’t accessible for any reason, let us know!

Hi. 

We do have Resources for employment. They can be found on our Self-Help page and in our Answers Directory. If for some reason these pages aren’t accessible for you, please let us know. Here are all our of current listed Resources for employment: 

Preparing for Employment Worksheet*

Choosing the Right Job / Resume Preparation Worksheet*

Starting and Keeping a Job Worksheet*

Phone Interview Guide (HTGTFU)

List of Jobs by Social Interaction Levels (HTGTFU).

How can I boost my confidence when job searching?

What are some jobs types for someone with AvPD?

I’m nervous to start my new job, please help?

How do I make myself comfortable with co-workers? 

I also recommend a Tumblr called How To Grow The Fuck Up. It has a lot of resources for resume building, interviewing, and all things job related. A few of these links come from there!

Hi.

Have you told your boyfriend that what he’s saying makes you feel bad? I know that it might seem obvious that it would hurt you, but what is common sense to one person may not be for another. He might also say things based on how he thinks he personally would react and not taking individual differences into account. But everyone is different, and he needs to be aware that it’s not okay for him to be saying things that hurt you. You have every right to tell him that it’s not okay.

Here are a couple of Resources from our Self-Help page that may help you:

Assertive Communication* 

Honest Communication Worksheet* 

Conflict in Relationships 

Hey, no worries. I remember when I was job hunting last year, it was the worst. I had to apply for a lot of retail jobs before I got a call back... I found the best thing is to apply in person, if you aren’t doing that already. Most employers don’t even look at the online applications. What does your resume look like? It helps to have it be straightforward and simple. (Do you or anyone else want us to give advice on how to write up a resume and apply?)

Sometimes finding a job can take a while when you have no experience, but it doesn’t mean you won’t ever. Also, I want to remind you that you do deserve all the patience you receive. No one is really deserving/undeserving of anything, but your parents are there to be patient with you and guide you into life. It’s okay that it’s taking a longer time for you. We also live in a time where it’s kind of hard to get a job in general. You’re not alone, but it’s not impossible.

I hope you’re able to get a call-back soon. Let us know if we can help in any other way! And thank you, I’m glad we can help anyone with this blog. 

Hello.

Congratulations on your new job! That’s amazing. Good for you. 

First of all, just remember that your new co-workers, managers, etc have all been in your position: they all had a first job and they were all nervous about it. They know how you’re feeling and they’ll ease you into it. 

A good thing to prepare would be a mental script of introducing yourself and meeting your co-workers so that you’re not caught off guard if someone asks you about yourself. Don’t worry about remembering everyone’s name on your first day. They know the first day can be overwhelming. . A mental list of small talk topics would also work well. If you are in direct contact with the public (ie if you’re a cashier), again, prepare some mental scripts. 

This might be scary, but talk to your co-workers even if they don’t talk to you! You are going to be spending a lot of time with them and building a good relationship from the get-go will improve their opinions of you and create a friendly environment that you won’t dread getting out of bed for. 

Here are a few additional links that may help you out:

Starting and Keeping a Job Worksheet* 

Making Conversation with Strangers Guide. 

Calming Technique: Controlled Breathing* 

“What if…” Positive Thinking Worksheet* 

Good luck! Let us know how it goes. 

Hi. 

When answering those types of questions, I think it helps to keep in mind that they are not assessing you as a person or how likable you are, they’re assessing you in terms of what they can gain by employing you. Don’t take it personally. You are selling your labour and your skills and that’s what you focus on. Things like “I really like this store, it’s where I buy my coffee everyday” is good but a lot of people do too- and that’s got nothing to do with how well you can make coffee or deescalate intense situations. 

Somethings to think about when answering this question are:

Do you have experience in a position similar to the one you’re applying for? Volunteering counts. Tell ‘em. If you can, use numbers. Numbers sound impressive (ie. “Served customers coffee” or “Served up to 200 customers fresh, custom orders daily”).

Do you have any other skills that are directly useful to the position? Are you good at calming down aggressive people? Give examples.

Are you flexible? Can you work at short notice? Do you have reliable transport? Can you start immediately? Are you willing to undergo training if necessary?

Do you have knowledge, formal or informal, relevant for the position? Do you have a first aid certificate? If you’re in school, do you work within a team often? Do you take home economics classes (even if the position doesn’t include making food- handling it and hygiene are important skills) or hospitality classes?