#wordsofdisarray

I kneel, keel, keen at an empty rock shrine

Worshipper to my sinfulness:

When you were mine

Bronzed arms, dans mes bras. Dappled.

Shimmering sunset on a broad, soft curve.

Your soles press against white-hot ash. Deserted.

She beams. Her maternal heat spreads across your bones.

Iron drumming eyelids, burnished ingot weighing light in your mouth. Champagne fizz.

Does last night even matter?

Take a dip, full immersion. Azure, assured, gelatine haze.

But eternal warmth to shroud you.

See the Madonna, weeping out not in grief but in reverie.

A wide-brimmed halo and linen wings. Donned!

You sway, as the auspicious palms do.

i touched you once

scaly hands, scabby nails

thought you liked me like that

bony, snarky, pale

i lay on my throne

my lavish riches consume me

but a stranger could devour them

if i could once more meet thee

our skin never did kiss again

oh boy, we couldn’t fly

did I touch you or claim you

look at me!

i am the jocund jonquil

toot my horn

dusk ‘til dawn

perfect pout, oh?

daffodils are out.

i paint my petals carmine

if I bind these pretty petals of mine

will you see me as a rose?

discover me, rare rose exposed.

your petals thin, you wilt.
your stalk is tangled, your dirt is dry.
your pallor is sallow. you are bald and disgraced.

*lo, I am graceful!*

feel my pull

my tantalising beauty –

look at me, look at me!

I grew up with you towering over me

Holding my parents in your leaves

So clear, gilded dancer

Blonde fronded movie star

New house: A coffin,

Pre-crumbling, all-fumbling

You went, then: Sakura

(Though probably magnolia).

Now you are born again,

My parents indentured - like then.

But you do not have to weep over me

they put it in my head

seed to sapling

unloveable but mouldable

a rotten rose

when you said it

I thought it was a lie

paralysis - stay, sis

horrid goodbye

friendliness = flirtation

(at least in my almond eyes)

swallowed inside my prison

every morning, every night

i inhale a clifftop high

or low lake, sunk

drinking and drunk

all things are dust, said He

but would she want me?

this noxious waste,

phantom, foul taste,

oh, she would vomit

this liminal spirit

wanderer, mourning

whilst others spin

I will embellish myself

afresh, good health

so she might devour me whole

she comes in hot flashes

pixie, vixen, minx

locked gate to my heaven