May 13, 2018
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“I can do it. Well, I mean, I have some trepidations about the procedure.”
“Is it lethal?”
“Not anymore-“
“Then I want it. It’s fine.”
“It’s just that the science isn’t all there. I know I can stop- maybe stall, really- the aging of your body. But I don’t know what happens to your brain. No one I’ve practiced the procedure on is around anymore for me to say what happens to the brain, or to accurately judge whether the aging process is delayed or halted indefinitely.”
“What-? You said it wasn’t lethal!”
“It’s not! But life is! These weren’t willing participants, man, and life is hard. Life is deadly, too. You might stay young forever, but you still have to worry about things like accidents, things like natural disasters, deadly illnesses, murders, and suicide, you know?”
“I’d never kill myself.”
“You sure? You look like the type. All dressed in black, with all that metal in your face…”
“Wait a minute,” v cut in, “you don’t know what happens to the brain? Does it get damaged?”
“What? No! Well, I don’t know. You could say it might,” w turned back to a, leaning back on his desk. “Let’s say you go through with this-“
“Which I will.”
“Yeah, okay. You go through with this and your body is eighteen until the end of time.”
“It sounds great.”
“Whatever, sure, it sounds ‘great;’ I don’t know what happens to your brain. I don’t know if your brain stops aging, too. You could end up with the mind of an eighteen-year-old forever,” w frowned, unsure of how to drive home how undesirable that would be to the two men. “Or your brain may continue aging. You have any degenerative brain diseases in your family?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Great. That’s so helpful.”
“My dad died young.”
W winced. “I’m sorry to hear that. Let’s say he didn’t; let’s say he’s still alive, getting older, and eventually gets Alzheimer’s, okay? I’m not a neurologist; I don’t know how much of that is hereditary. I can’t guarantee that one day, seventy years from now, someone’s not going to write a paper on you, the ‘first eighteen-year-old with the brain of an 88-year-old Alzheimer’s patient’.”
“Maybe we don’t want that,” v murmured, looking over at a.
“That’s not going to happen,” a responded.
w & v looked at each other; w’s frown morphed into a sardonic smile. “That’s an eighteen-year-old brain talking.”
i can't decide whether or not v is willfully ignorant of other people's feelings or if he truly doesn't understand or relate and i'm not sure how much of s's involvement with him is out of real necessity. like i don't believe he's really this idealistic i want to say he's actually just a bit of an ambitious tool who's lying to himself to make it easier to lie to everyone else but that seems almost too easy maybe it's a mix of both, for both of them ugh w was so much easier to figure out! i wanna just tell the story from his point of view but so much of it seems to be way before he even enters the picture!!! and i also really just like the gossipy casual narrator approach, but i know i couldn't pull it off as well as *some people* who are just *amazing* writers who i don't actually aspire to be like bc that's unrealistic (coughdostoyevskycough)