#wml

I have been wanting to write about this for a little while. I'm currently re-reading Where Mischief lies and I can’t help but notice the way Loki’s loneliness shaped his personality. While I consider the book to be part of its own universe there are obviously things that connect with the Loki from the mcu.

In the book Loki describes bits of his life and he lets us know that he didn’t really have any friends in Asgard,“It wasn’t like he had many options for friends. Thor and his fellow warriors-in-training made it clear they didn’t want anything to do with Loki, like his lack of muscle mass might be catching if they stood too close”.

He also says later in the book that he usually prefers his own company to that of others in Asgard, meaning that he spent his days completely and utterly alone. This is already bad enough for an adult, but imagine a young boy, spending his formative years in isolation, segregated from his world, having no community to be a part of, constantly feeling inadequate, and he had no one to call a friend, no shoulder to rely on, he had only himself. (yes, I know he had Frigga bit c’mon, parents are different, they’re supposed to be there for you)

So obviously, that shaped who he was as a person, someone bitter who hides his pain behind mischief, charm and cruel pranks, he acted out in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be wanted, to be accepted, I imagine how sad he would feel after walking past a table in some tavern to see everyone gathered around Thor, smiling, laughing, celebrating his victories and raising their cups to him.

Oh how he must have wondered if one day people would want him to join their tables, if they would want to celebrate his victories, if they would be proud of his achievements — a rare spell he managed to master, a particularly tricky potion he brew, a 100 page essay on a very specific subject that helped advance the research on some type of magic he’s interested in — all these things that mean so much to him but nothing to others, all these things he wished he could share with someone who cares.

But then, we have L1130, who actually managed to make a friend in the TVA, he who showed interest in Mobius’ jetskis when no one else did, who encouraged him to go out in the timelines and live his dream instead of just reading about it in magazines. And he got rewarded for it, Mobius also fell in love with who Loki was, he believed in him (after some hiccups here and there but c’mon), he helped him supposedly take down the organization he dedicated his life to and he got pruned for it.

But after Loki returned broken and scared Mobius was there for him, like friends are supposed to be, he took care of him, he put Loki’s health and well being above the TVA’s mission (again!), he tended to his bruises, helped ease his worries as best as he could and became the eye of the storm that was Loki’s life at that point.

And oh, how Loki changed after that, how soft he became, how patient and kind, mirroring Mobius himself, he easily reciprocated the kindness that was offered to him, he defended Mobius’ honor when his friend wasn’t there to do it himself, he defended B15, OB and Casey who weren’t even that close to him at that point. He was always so kind to Victor too, trying his best not to scare him, to reassure him that it was okay, they weren’t going to hurt him, they just needed his help.

It only took a few drops of kindness and love to melt his frozen heart and from there on he just kept giving and giving to his community, and yes, I absolutely believe that Loki saw them as such, I imagine he dreamed about the day he would finally fix the loom and they would all drink and celebrate together but that day never came 🥲

Anyway, this is all I have for today, I love to think about Loki’s view on friendship and community and I’ll probably write more about it later but for now I’m pretty satisfied with what I have written, thanks for reading this far!

Finals day one

I'm going to kill myself 😚

BRING YOUR KATS TO HOME!! (Pt.1)

To keep my insanity to this fandom, I'll draw every rally drivers and co-drivers, cat version! :3