#wizjo

but now. now I'm thinking about how they got there and what that first move was like. studying late at night. girl you like is on the same couch as you. you try not to think about it like that. you try really, really hard, and you accepted a long time ago that it was going nowhere and you didn't want to make her uncomfortable by being weird, so you resolved to crush those feelings into the dirt with your heel and move on.

you get knocked out. you’re out for a while, dunno how long, sometimes you fade in and out of consciousness and maybe you’re dead? Is this what being dead is like? Huh. Damn. You kinda wish youd kissed guerra before you died. you hear some noises every now and then but youre too dead to really pay attention to any of it; turns out being dead is pretty exhausting. Youve got MAJOR notes for god whenever he shows his punk face. hold on someones saying your name. Okay maybe THATS god. is that god? You meet god and she looks like guerra. If guerra hadn’t slept in a week or brushed her hair and her eyes were kind of red around the rims. maybe you wont have notes for god. you converse very seriously with god, or you fucking TRY to, because god is being very rude and keeps blowing off your conversation to flag down what you GUESS is an angel, but the angel looks a lot like your potions teacher so heaven is turning out way weirder than you expected, and you barely even had any expectations, because you’re barely religious to begin with. you conk out again.

you wake up again. gods there. She’s asleep at the edge of your bed, slumped over her crossed arms, one fist tightly balled and clutching her wand. god looks bad. You mean, like she’s doing bad. God looks like guerra, so obviously she looks great. But you know guerra and you know when guerra looks bad, and this is it. You’re not gonna pretend otherwise like those ninnies who only see the best in her. You mean god. Yeesh, you gotta get used to that. You wake up to see god doing terribly and sleeping over your legs. It’s dark. Your head hurts, but you can think a little better now. Maybe that means this whole heaven stuff is working. there’s a flash of light — OW — and the angel walks into the room carrying a tray. You watch her do angel business for a little while as your eyes adjust to being holy flash banged. If your hand nervously twitches over to rest on gods shoulder, you’re sure you can get out of bein smitten by explaining to her later that she looks like his old best friend, an’ in the moment it was just real hard t’see her that way, cause y’care about her a lot. Yeah. God’ll prolly forgive him for touching her and not kill him again. You get so distracted by smoothing out God’s wrinkled-to-hell shirt, gently running your hand on her shoulder in a way that y’hope feels like a comfort in her dream, that y’dont realize the angel’s walked over. She looks at you all sad. Whats up with everyone bein sad? This is heaven. Heavens really gotta step up its game or bein dead is gonna SUCK. The angel looks like she expects you to pull your hand off’a God. but God looks like guerra, so you just set your eyebrows resolute and keep your hand firm where it is. God looks like guerra and you’ll always have her back. Angel be damned (huh?). The angel sighs all huge in a way that reminds you of professor Zarei (maybe thats why she looks like professor zarei?) and fusses with her angel bottles. She looks at you and says that she hasn’t moved from that spot since you arrived here. The room is dark. You squeeze gods shoulder reflexively. god must really care about her new arrivals. guerra used t’care about her new arrivals. it’s nice that god looks like her, but it twinges when you realize it’ll never be her real face again. your other hand reaches out to accept the cup the angel hands to you. you don’t think. just drink it. you brush your hand up god’s shoulder to tuck some of the hair that feels like guerra’s behind her ear. you conk out again.

you wake up again. youre NOT dead. guerras there. guerras there but she won’t look at you. She won’t get near you. Its weird for a little while and maybe youre worried that you did something wrong, or you messed up with something, but youve got no clue WHAT. but now she’s acting WEIRD and nobody else seems to notice it. you’re friends, you hang out, youve hung out before but you just keep noticing that now she’s around ALL THE TIME. just HOVERING. always far enough away to think she’s being SLICK, but you KNOW her, and she AINT BEING SLICK. shes suspicious as hell; watching you like a flighty hawk, and hovering, and FUSSING, one time you go to grab the orange juice pitcher and she puts a FILLED GLASS IN YOUR OPEN HAND.

and shes distant. you used to study together, the two of you and ollie, in the dorm rooms. But its two weeks after you were discharged and every time youve plonked your ass down on the couch she shoots up and moves to the armchair with paper thin excuses. You’re both at practice and she falls off of her broom. You catch her, because SOMEONES gotta have her back and thats your job. She freezes up like a deer. You’re not letting no panic attack get the best of YOUR HOMIE so you immediately initiate the highly secretive forbidden technique Two-Person Stack Huddle Comfort Confidentiality Formation™, which is when you shift her a little bit (she landed in an awkward position) (maybe your grin is a little cocky. In your defense, this has never happened before and you Are getting a kick out of it. Maybe you can hold this over her head just a little. Banter usually gets things back on track with you two) and ask Is She Hurt Anywhere, Captain?

That backfires horribly. You thought Hey, guerra loves bickering an teasing! maybe she just needs some bickering and teasing an shell be back to bein the same guerra shes always been! WRONG. You are wrong. Guerra does not go back to bein the same guerra she’s always been. Guerra stares at you for 17 seconds, swallows, writhes out of your grasp faster than shes EVER moved on a broom, and scrambles away all Oh Uh Thanks Johnny No Shes Fine Johnny Shes Uh Shes Gotta Uh Yeah No Nope Thats Not Necessary She Uh Shes Gotta Go Help Logan And Sarah With Uh WithSomethingSeeHimLaterJohnnyBye