#wittyredrobin

“But I’m not!”

“Then what is the reason?”

“Does there have to be a reason?”

“Yes, Tim. There has to be a reason.”

“I want you to stay. That’s thereason.”

“That’s not a reason.”

“Can’t you just leave it.”

“Can’t you? I’ll be back in threedays. We can talk about it then. I’m late.”

“Jason --”

“No. I’m late.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

Something freezes, within Tim’smouth.

He hides his fingers in the pocket ofhis jeans.

(There’s nothing to win, anymore.)

“Have a good trip,” he says, turns,feels a bit lost.

“I will,” Jason replies.

They’re both cold.

---

Jason’s phone gasps awake, in hispalm, Tim’s mouth, nose, bones, wait, at the other end, Jason’s sour, stickymood stays stuck, all over his skin.

He weights the colours under histhumb, the red, he steers away. The green, he pushes down.

(The shaky echo begins.)

“I’m busy,” he says, curt.

“Harsh,” Roy mutters, with a wince,and Jason frowns.

“Shut up,” he retorts. Leans away tolisten but --

Tim hangs up.

(Jason feels a bit sick. He feels --the guilt, breathless, sinking in.)

((His emotion morphs.))

He dials.

He dials -- stop.

He dials -- stop.

He dials -- the number you are calling -- stop. This time, it’s Jason’s thumb that cuts the line.

(Tim turned off his cell.)

---

Tim’s phone rings, again, afterhours, when Gotham’s black, golden, drowsy, Tim braces his lungs.

(He doesn’t let him talk.)

“I thought you were busy.”

“Is this where I say “I deserved that.”and we finally stop quoting every dumb romance movie ever?”

“We already fought like we were inone. Might as well act it out to the end.”

“Do you expect a bouquet then?”

“If you’re getting me flowers, then youreally don’t know me at all. Does this relationship even mean anything to you?”

“Man, you’re good.”

“I am, huh? But I’m still angry withyou too. And with me. But like, sixty percent you.”

“Yeah, I know. Same here.”

“I mean. I am angry at myself because-- I did lie to you. There was a reason why I didn’t want you to go.”

“But it wasn’t what I thought it was,was it.”

“No. At all. I know Roy’s a good guy.It really wasn’t that or him or anything. It’s just -- threeyears ago, my dad died. It was the anniversary yesterday. And I thought I’d befine, I thought it would be better that you’d be gone but -- but when you wereabout to leave I felt like -- like someone stuffed my lungs with lead orsomething. Or like those super size marshmallows. And suddenly I thought Icouldn’t be alone. I can’t do this with you not here but I -- I did it. Isurvived. I was fine, even. Really. So. Don’t -- feel guilty or something.There’s no reason to.”

“Gee Tim, there’s no way I can’t not feel guilty. I treated you likecrap. When the reason was -- geez. Damnit.”

“I lied to you though.”

“I am pretty sure my crappiness beatsyours this time. Man. I don’t know how to apologize.”

“Just get to Gotham, okay?”

“I didn’t plan on not to.”

“Get to Gotham with one of those deepfried caramel candies?”

“NowI recognize my glutton of a bedmate.”

“What’s even bedmate mean.”

“Did you really want me to say you’remy boyfriend?”

“Yeah, okay, shut up. And don’t belate!”

“There’s not even anything to be latefor. Or did you get a house with legs and it’s supposed to change destinationin like seven hours?”

“Something like that.”

“So post patrol nap at my place?”

“Post patrol nap at your place.”

“Just don’t sleep in the shower againif I’m late. That’s just embarrassing.”

“Your face is embarrassing.”

“When do the credits roll again?”

Tim snorts.

“Right about now I’d say.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I gotta go, Tim. I’m sorry for-- yesterday.”

“Me too. Let’s just agree to not turninto TV show scripts again too soon, okay?”

“Roger that.”

A moment of scenery; snowfall.

“Be safe, Jay.”

“You too.”

“Aww, is that your guys’ I love you?”

“Shut up, Roy.” Jason says, Timlaughs, says “hey, Roy”, they hang up.

(But probably -- probably, it really is.)

supercomicgirl said: But you are like the nicest person in the world! And you being here makes me happy. Even if i never say anything just seeing you on my dash makes me happy. Plus your writing is so elegant and beautiful it makes me hate my own writing in comparison

Thank you!! ♥ I still owe you that postcard, sorry about that, hope to send it soon(ish). But, your writing is fantastic and so in character I am quite envious and love it a lot! Seriously. You’re an amazing writer!

damiandickwhistle said: NOOOOO! Your stories are absolutely amazing and you run an awesome blog! You seem like a great person (from what I can tell, and I don’t know much, but you seem awesome) pleassssseeeee dontttttt quitttttttttt!!! 🙏 

Thank you that is so sweet of you to say! I will try to continue even though I might get a bit discouraged. Thank you again, you seem like a really cool person too!

wittyredrobin said: for awhile i was thinking about quitting writing fic and quitting tumblr but then i found you and your blog and your fics and all of that inspired me to hang around and try to get better to try and move others like you have done to me

Omg thank you for telling me! Inspiring people is one of the things I hope to do when I write. I am sorry though you felt that way about your writing. :(  *hugs if you are alright with hugs*

brownpuffball said: You are good! Lovely! Your work is stupendulous as usual! Your blog is fab and your content is quality. You’re my writing senpai (though I hesitate to say this because I rarely write), there’s a poetry-like quality to your prose I really admire.

Thank you!! I haven’t heard from you in a while/seen you around, how are you doing? I never thought I’d ever be someone’s writing senpai or a senpai at all really, thank you, that’s really a big honour! ♥

polybatfam said: whhaat. Dude your writing is amazing. Don’t get me wrong I get like you too, but you’re writing is so rare on here, I’ve never seen someone write as poetically in their fics like you do (which really reminds me of F. Scott Fitzgerald btw)

polybatfam said: and when I first discovered your blog I spent like three days reading through your beautiful jay tim fics, you are literally one of the people that inspired me to come into this fandom. Don’t think about what that other person has that got more notes

polybatfam said: just think about what makes yours unique and love the heck out of your writing man, okay?

Thank you, I think the poetry comes from the fact that I want to write in a way that is aesthetically pleasing too? Like the words and imagery combines into something beautiful (that’s why I tend to think my writing is shallow but).

Makes me feel quite happy that people want to read more than one story, that’s amazing, thank you for letting me know! Helping bringing someone into the fandom is a huge honour too. I’m trying to not look at notes (got them not visible when I am browsing the site on my computer) but at times, I get discouraged a lot. Thank you for taking the time to saying all these kind words, I’m happy you like my writing!! ♥

incogneat-oh said: It’s always disheartening when something you work on doesn’t get recognition, especially when it’s something you are invested in. But for what it’s worth, I always adore your writing style. I hope you start feeling okay again soon, <3

He speeds up again, the grass and the petals and the close close limbs of trees move too, sucked in; a pressure builds against Jason’s lungs. (Might be his resolve, turning to a cavity, might be something – growing. Might just be the undead, rising through. Might be. Can’t – can’t be.)

I really like to picture a bit what’s going on, how what I write looks, what happens when you talk, what people do, like how they adjust their sleeves or scratch the back of their necks or what faces they pull, and they are probably really details no one needs or wants to read about, like grass getting caught up in the trajectory of a car, but I like these tiny snippets of a scene. Also it’s for the flow and imaginery too, like a lot. I add words to fix the flow a lot, which might be bit of a cheating. I do feel a bit like a fraud when it comes to depth because I go with what sounds good, first, a lot? And add the connection later. Which yeah. Might not be the right way to write. 

“My Mom had a whole box full of mix CDs,” he says, shares, slowly and he’s not – they’re not friends (repeat, repeat). But, thing is – you can tell strangers anything, can’t you? “She loved making them, said it was like making a necklace, just made out of little capsules of melodies and songs, instead of pearls. I listened to all of them, all the time.” (Turns out: you can (strangers; repeat).)

I want to keep following this theme of Jason trying to keep distance between him and Tim while Tim just wants to connect with someone, and Jason battles all these contradicting thoughts, like his experience with people after the virus broke out, fighting his fear of turning Tim if he gets too close, of even trying to be close to someone because he can easily lose him in the situation they are in.  While Tim really needs something or someone to unwire him, to make him feel like he’s not alone in this. 

What Jason says is also supposed to point out the similarities between Tim and Jason’s Mom, someone he loves dearly. Which scares Jason a bit and he tries to convince himself that if he pretends Tim is just a stranger, it will be true, because sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who you don’t know and who doesn’t know you and who you won’t see again.

As for the metaphor, at first I wanted to write that she liked combining music, and then I thought you bind things together, like jewelery and that’s how I got the idea. 

“Did she had one for road trips too?” Tim asks, fragile, careful, he never looks at Jason for too long. It’s good. (Better.)

Tim probably knows how family topics can be emotionally straining, especially in their situation, but he also wants to know, feels like with Jason saying that, there’s progress and he wants to push it, just a little bit. 

“Yeah. She had three.” And they share, again, a smile, honest and short and good. “Tell me when you’re tired,” Tim says, adjusting into comforts and better angles, watching out and Jason jokes, weakly, says: “Tell me when something tries to climb into the car and eat us.” but it’s barely halfway funny because someone could but Tim just – Tim nods. And watches out.

Jason is a bit reassured by how brief the smile was, because then he can dismiss it, easier, but it also feels good, being like this with someone else, sharing and understanding. Tim knows not to push it too much because of what Jason said (to not be too buddy buddy with each other) but somewhat stubbornly trying to subtly connect with him, anyway.