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"You've never said it?" Roy sounds incredulous, and whenever he sounds incredulous his voice rises an octave.
"No." Jason mutters. He's become quite good at ignoring the curious looks the other patrons in the crummy little diner are giving him.
"Not once?"
"No."
Roy pauses, drums his fingers on the table and Jason wonders - hopes - Roy is giving up on the subject. But then: "And he doesn't mind?"
"Nope."
"What do you say when he says it? Something lame like ditto? Or the classic, but awkward, you too? You don't say same, do you? Because I'll disown you as a friend if you do."
"He's never said it either."
"Wait." Roy blinks. "So you guys have been together for a while, you're having a kid together, and neither of have said I love you to the other?"
"Correct."
"Okay..." Roy takes a minute to process this new information by sipping at his cooling coffee. The reprieve doesn't last long, of course. "So why haven't you said it? Why hasn't he said it?"
"Damian hasn't said it for the exact same reason he hasn't agreed to bond with me."
"Because he doesn't love you?"
"No, you idiot." Jason replies, a scowl forming on his face. "Because he thinks I'm going to change my mind one day. Look," Jason glances down at his own cup, "the whole thing with Dick did more damage than Damian will ever admit, okay? And Damian's the type of guy to take all his wounds, wrap them around himself and then use them as a way to defend himself." There's a sigh. "I've just gotta coax him out of it and make him realize I'm in it for the long haul."
"Poetic." Roy says, and even sounds a little impressed.
"Hn." Jason grunts. His coffee has gone cold and he's desperate to get home. Malik will be waiting with a toothy grin, and an eagerness to share in cuddles. Damn if that kid can't brighten Jason's day without even really trying.
"So why haven't you said it?"
Feeling awkward and way too exposed, Jason mutters, "It's stupid."
Roy only stares at him, calm and serious, aware the time for teasing definitely isn't now. "Try me."
"Because if I say it then it'll all be taken away." Jason pushes his cup and slumps down in the booth. "Damian, Malik, the baby - they'll all be taken away. It's just the way my fucked up life works. Once I acknowledge I have something good going on, life comes and slaps me in the face."
"I get it."
When their eyes meet - Roy's gaze solemn - Jason knows his friend is thinking about Lian.
