Aug 29, 2020
god, i fucking need more familial strider bros. the tag on ao3 is fucking crammed with str//derc//st and i hate it.
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god, i fucking need more familial strider bros. the tag on ao3 is fucking crammed with str//derc//st and i hate it.
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The hunches don’t help me... ever. So I figured I might as well use them to try to help other people. You’re the first person who’s actually stuck around and helped. You’re the first person who’s actually acted like a friend, whether you acknowledge it or not, and to be totally candid... I’m a bit sick of your bullshit, Todd. I wish you’d stop saying you’re an asshole.
RILEY: -she is sleeping because she probably slept through any alarms she set to prepare for breakfast with dirk. Oops-
DIRK: -well, dirk is as punctual as always, despite feeling mentally and physically sluggish as of late. knock knock. he's here.-
RILEY: -it takes her a moment to stir awake, but when she's conscious enough to realize who it is, she nearly leaps out of bed to open the door. she looks a downright mess- hey. sorry. come in.
DIRK: -relatable. there's a part of him that feels like he should be bothered by this, which is that same part that is still feeling annoyed about everything that happened with her and his dad, but he's much too tired himself to give much creedence to those thoughts.- Did you just wake up? -comes on inside-
RILEY: yeah. -she runs a hand through her hair and shuts the door- i set a few alarms but i guess the volume was too low or something. hopefully it doesn't ruin your breakfast experience with me looking like this shit. -she snorts- you want anything to drink?
DIRK: -he is having a hard time with auditory processing right now, belatedly answering as he takes a seat. it took a second to get through everything she said, and figure out what he should respond to.- Uh... Yes. DIRK: Orange juice?
RILEY: -there's so much silence in between and she's barely awake as it is so she turns to look at him when he responds. she nods, heading for the fridge.- that's a weird thing for me to have in here, but i do thanks to your--to me deciding to smuggle some from the cafeteria. -she returns to him with the juice and hands it over before taking a seat next to him-
DIRK: -he's a little quicker on the uptake that time and snorts.- It's cool. I keep a bunch of food in my room, too. Not all of it I purchased on my own. -sips his juice. so much better than apple juice. get fucked, dave.-
RILEY: you gotta stock up sometimes, right? sometimes you need a change of pace from that cafeteria. -she pauses- you look exhausted.
DIRK: ... Do I? Guess that makes sense. DIRK: I've had a few busy days.
RILEY: -she nods- aren't you technically the busiest person on this thing?
DIRK: I ought to be. Don't think the person runnin' the show should be kickin' it back while everyone works. -turns the cup in his hands, trying to think of a subject change that isn't too jarring.- DIRK: That reminds me... How did John's meeting go? DIRK: I mean, I know how it went because he recorded it for me. But how did it go from the perspective of the department's newest addition?
RILEY: -looks somewhat surprised- oh. right. that. RILEY: i mean. i really have nothing to compare it to. i don't know how this stuff works, it's way out of my field. but...i mean. RILEY: it seemed good? right?
DIRK: -nods- It was good. DIRK: You did good, too. DIRK: Only thing I'm lamenting about it is now I gotta turn in my stash. Fuckin' bummer. -siiiip-
RILEY: yeah, that part was disappointing. couldn't exactly raise hell objecting, though. don't have enough cred for that.
DIRK: Guess I'll just have to burn through what I can. -snickers a little- DIRK: Don't think John's suggesting an all out war on drugs, though. I think I should be safe. -casually talks about smoking weed to his mom-
RILEY: -laughs- well, hey. if you need some help getting through it...
DIRK: -laughs in earnest along with her- Ok. I'll hit you up. DIRK: Also, ah... I was wondering how... dad is doing? -surprised he isn't here, actually. he was under the impression they're attached at the hip now.-
RILEY: thanks. -pauses a little like it's totally unexpected he would ask that- oh you mean with the whole...? -gestures at her face-
DIRK: Yeah. The whole. -also gestures to face- DIRK: I've been uh. Dealing with it. DIRK: With Dualscar, I mean.
RILEY: oh, good. that was so fucking...ugh. -she sits back, sighing- like. okay. taking a swing at him and calling me a hooker is warranted, sure. but it didn't have to be in front of a one year old. and he's okay. sounds like a doofus but it's getting better.
DIRK: -slowly looks at her- He called you a what?
DIRK: -KILL BILL SIRENS-
RILEY: -waves her hand- don't freak out. he didn't say the word hooker. just a couple of different piratey equivalents. that's not what's important here.
DIRK: ... I guess not.
DIRK: -huffs- I'm glad he's ok, then.
DIRK: It'd be cool if he quit getting himself into trouble, though.
RILEY: -snorts- look, honey. if he hasn't quit by now, he ain't gonna quit at all. he also likes to get in the faces of people way taller than him. it's like magnetic.
RILEY: he'd like to hear you say that, you know.
RILEY: that you're glad he's okay.
DIRK: -amuses himself thinking about derek going toe to toe with someone a good foot taller than him.- Well... I'm sure he would.
RILEY: wouldn't hurt, either. just saying.
DIRK: -noncommital grumbling-
DIRK: Alright. I'll talk to him.
RILEY: -slowly smiles- cool. thanks.
RILEY: even if you're dragging your feet doing it.
RILEY: means a lot.
DIRK: It isn't even that awful. He just... gets on my nerves now. -grumpy about it-
DIRK: ... All this reminds me though.
DIRK: Last year on the fourth of July, he somehow convinced me to set off fireworks with him in the atrium.
DIRK: It freaked everyone out and got us landed in detainment.
DIRK: ... -snorts- It was so stupid.
RILEY: -gives him such a MOM LOOK- are you fucking serious? setting off fireworks? in a ship? RILEY: your ass is grounded.
DIRK: I told you it was stupid! DIRK: He seems to have that kind of effect on people.
DIRK: ... That sounded meaner than I meant it to.
RILEY: -laughs- was that aimed at me or...?
DIRK: -looks embarrassed- No. I meant in general...
RILEY: -nudges him- good. cuz i'd like to take credit for all my stupid shit. that's mine.
RILEY: but i know what you mean. he does have that effect.
RILEY: like i said. magnet.
[07:24] RILEY: -Riley arrives at Dirk's room door, knocking a few times. She can't help but feel excited about spending some time with her son.- [07:29] DIRK: *dirk answers the door wearing a shitty christmas sweater. HE'S IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT.* [07:29] DIRK: Hey. *immediately goes in for a hug. apparently he's also feeling warm and fuzzy today.* [07:31] RILEY: hi! -She can't help but smile as she hugs him because she can't get enough of this kid's bear hugs- nice sweater. i'm digging it. [07:45] DIRK: Why thank you. *lets go of her so that she can come inside.* [07:47] RILEY: -and in she goes, looking around his room, like she's trying to get more information on him and his interests. puppets, unsurprisingly. :|- i like your new room. except for the puppets. [08:19] DIRK: You don't like the puppets, either? *smiles a little anyway.* [08:19] DIRK: Well, so long as you like horses... [08:22] RILEY: horses are fine. i can appreciate a horse. had my fill of puppets like twenty plus years ago. [08:45] DIRK: That's unfortunate. *goes over to lil cal and scoops him up off the chest he's sitting on.* [08:45] DIRK: Do you remember this guy? [08:47] RILEY: -she looks at the puppet, lil cal, and in the past she may have cringed at how creepy it looked. it's still creepy, but it was what dirk took with him when he was taken away from them. she nods.- it was your dad's. i...how do you still have that? [09:04] DIRK: *he shrugs while he looks down at it* I'm not sure how I managed to hold onto it all these years... But I did. [12:58] RILEY: -she sighs a little- is that how you have his old shades too? [12:59] DIRK: *he nods, lightly touching the pair that he has on now.* Yeah. [01:01] RILEY: -she has to sit down, somewhere, anywhere. the nearest sittable piece of furniture.- to think they lasted with you all that time. it's...kind of a miracle. [01:08] DIRK: My being here at all is nothing short of miraculous. *shrugs* ... But I did a lot of fighting to get here, too. *he has to give himself credit for that. he takes a seat beside her, since she probably parked herself on sollux's couch.* [01:08] DIRK: I didn't mean to bring up heavy shit though. [01:12] RILEY: it's just still kind of a shock, i think. a welcome one though, don't get me wrong. but being able to see the three of you again when i thought i never would? that the three of you would be in good health, nonetheless. and that i didn't...destroy everything in my wake. maybe it's selfish of me to think i could do that, but...-she shakes her head- sorry. [01:26] DIRK: *damn, he feels that.* It's okay. I know what it's like. [01:26] DIRK: Kind of obsessing over everything you could have done differently and stuff. Even when it isn't very realistic to put all the blame on yourself. [01:31] RILEY: -she smiles slightly as she glances at him- tell me about it. it's so easy to, you know? especially if you definitely did some kinda damage. it's easy to just...accept it all as you. [01:31] RILEY: cuz sometimes you're too tired to blame anyone else. [01:35] DIRK: *nods* Yeah. [01:35] DIRK: I mean, you don't have control over what other people do. Suppose you can control certain variables that affect their actions, but then that comes back to you making the wrong choices again. [01:36] RILEY: and then when they fuck up, it feels like your initial fuck up was to blame for theirs. [01:36] RILEY: like your bad decisions are some sorta catalyst. [01:37] DIRK: Pretty much exactly that. [01:38] RILEY: i'm... -she pauses.- sorry you know how that feels. [01:39] RILEY: but i'm, i don't know. it doesn't feel awful to have you know what i'm talking about. [01:41] DIRK: Same here. *gives her a small, and a little bashful, smile.* [01:42] RILEY: -she smiles back at him.- so. fill me in on your life since we last talked. [01:51] DIRK: *smile fades and he looks ahead.* Ah... Well, it's mostly been uneventful, for me personally. Working. Taking care of Citrin. [01:51] DIRK: We were on a planet called LOWAS for a while. Weird shit happened. That whole trip didn't... end on a very good note. [01:51] DIRK: If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about that specifically? [01:51] DIRK: But after that, we ended up here on Christmas planet. I chopped down that tree that's in the cafeteria now. And um... *he seems a little flustered suddenly.* Yeah. Other things have happened. [01:55] RILEY: -notices his smile fade and she can tell he's been having a rough time. maybe that aligns with his weight loss, too. she does notice how flustered he gets.- we don't gotta talk about that, don't worry. other things, huh? is this another one of those don't want to talk about it instances or what? [01:58] DIRK: No, no. It's a good thing. I'm just not sure what you'll make of it. [01:59] RILEY: you take me to be all judgey about good things, then? -she grins- hit me with it. [02:04] DIRK: I've been... seeing somebody. In addition to Sollux. [02:04] DIRK: Not like on the downlow or anything. Everyone is in the know and chill with it. But yeah. That's a thing that's happening. *folds his hands in his lap and twiddles his thumbs. HE'S SO EMBARRASSED.* [02:05] RILEY: -She's grinning at him. Look at this shit eating face over here- [02:05] DIRK: *MOTHER NO* [02:05] RILEY: oh, no, i'm trying so hard not to just WALK OUT on you right now. i can't take it. the scandal! [02:07] DIRK: Shut up. Don't make fun of me. *now he's smiling again.* [02:08] RILEY: -she snickers a little- no, really. i'm all for what makes you happy, baby. ...dirk. [02:08] RILEY: -whoops her mom is showing- [02:12] DIRK: *aw, gee. he's embarrassed again, for an entirely different reason.* Well, okay. [02:12] DIRK: ... Thank you. [02:13] RILEY: as long as they treat you well, i'm happy for you. -please let this one be a human. also she's a huge hypocrite- [02:14] DIRK: *WOW MOM.* I'll have to introduce you to him soon. [02:16] RILEY: i'd love to meet him. [02:24] DIRK: Yeah, I think you'll really like him. It's kind of hard not to, though. He's just that kind of person. [02:24] DIRK: Like a giant puppy of a human being. [02:27] RILEY: he sounds adorable. -OH GOOD A HUMAN.- and sweet. anyone important to you is important to me, by default. [02:35] DIRK: He is definitely all those things. [02:35] DIRK: Oh. His name is Jake, by the way. [02:35] DIRK: He works in our service department. Usually in the kitchens. But I think he should transfer to engineering with me. Or maybe even double up. [02:35] DIRK: He's real good at designing and concepting, though I haven't seen what he's capable of building. In any case, it seems like a waste of talent. Plus that would mean I could see more of him. I mean, see him more often... Because we'd be working together... *he shuts up before he rambles too much more about jake and makes more slips he's going to be embarrassed about.* [02:36] RILEY: -she's grinning at him again- sounds like you like him a lot. [02:43] DIRK: ... Yeah. I do. [02:44] RILEY: then he's definitely worth your time. i hope you can see more of him. or see him more often. either/or. [02:45] DIRK: ... *puts his head in his hands.* [02:45] DIRK: Me too. [02:46] RILEY: -she has to giggle at that- nothing to be ashamed of. or embarrassed about. you know, if it's what you want. [03:04] DIRK: Yeah, yeah. *but you're his MOTHER, he has to be embarrassed about this topic around you. it is a little strange, though, to realize how easily he's accepted her as such, when he had such a hard time to begin with.* [03:04] DIRK: *he looks at her again.* So, anyway... [03:09] RILEY: -she laughs- so, anyway... next topic. citrin's a cutie. [03:14] DIRK: *sits up a little to nod in agreement.* Yes, he is. [03:14] DIRK: He's so smart, too. And funny. He's just got so much personality. [03:15] RILEY: you seem like a great dad to him. [03:20] DIRK: *shrugs* Well, I do what I can. [03:29] RILEY: those trolls grow fast, don't they? [04:12] DIRK: Yeah. After they pupate, they skip right to the equivalent of their toddler stage. Who knows how old they were when we found them as grubs, though. [04:30] RILEY: so you skip all the teaching them how to walk stuff? that stage is pretty cute. [05:23] DIRK: Unfortunately. He started walking as soon as he got out of the cocoon. [05:23] DIRK: *shifts* I am kinda bummed that I'm missing out on a lot of those things, but I guess I can always experience them secondhand with Dove. [05:23] RILEY: they're special, let me tell you that. but i'm sure citrin's got a whole other load of milestones. [05:24] RILEY: but watching dove will be pretty special, too. [05:24] RILEY: i think i screamed when i saw you take your first step. [05:24] RILEY: scared you half to death, ruined the whole thing. [06:31] DIRK: Heh. Really? [06:31] DIRK: That's pretty embarrassing. *smirks at her* [06:33] RILEY: oh, shut up, i know. [06:34] RILEY: but when you're a first time parent and your kid passes a milestone like that, it's like you won the lottery. [06:34] RILEY: kind of. [06:34] RILEY: sort of. [06:45] -- technetronicTactician [TT] is now an idle chum! -- [06:51] DIRK: Nah, I get that. Everything with Citrin is so new in terrifying kinds of ways. I never know if I'm handling it right or what. [06:53] RILEY: -she can relate more than dirk will ever know. her expression nods and she softened.- it can...be scary when things aren't what you expected. [08:12] DIRK: Heh. Yeah. [08:12] DIRK: And I didn't expect any of this. [08:12] DIRK: Not that I'm complaining. [08:13] DIRK: But sometimes I wonder how things would be different if I... I dunno. [08:13] RILEY: if you weren't a parent? [08:14] DIRK: *shakes his head.* No, the opposite. If I could've planned for it. [08:16] RILEY: if you had like 8 months notice? [08:17] DIRK: *snorts* Yeah. Instead of "hey Dirk, come over. I stole a baby. Help me take care of it." [08:18] RILEY: that's sudden as fuck, but...having to wait kind of sucks, too. [08:20] DIRK: I'm sure it's a totally different ballgame when you gotta gestate a growing fetus all that time too. *makes a face just thinking about it.* [08:28] RILEY: you have too much time to doubt yourself, i think. and yeah, that face is pretty fucking accurate. [08:28] RILEY: but some parts are kind of cute. [08:29] RILEY: like feeling your baby move inside of you. well, it's cute at first. and then you get kept up because of all the moving. [08:29] RILEY: you couldn't stay still. [08:30] DIRK: You're telling me I was restless? *SARCASTIC DOUBT* [09:18] RILEY: oh, shush. all y'all are. [11:08] DIRK: Yeah, I know. *twiddles his thumbs. HE'S BEING RESTLESS RIGHT NOW. HE'S ALWAYS RESTLESS.* [11:12] RILEY: don't get me wrong. it's cute, just has me know something's always on your minds. DIRK: Yeah, I'm constantly thinking. DIRK: I can't shut it off. RILEY: feels like your thoughts are screaming at you? DIRK: -nods- Pretty much. But at least they're not so bad right now. -shrugs- RILEY: right now as in now? DIRK: -snorts- Yeah, like... At this moment. DIRK: -twiddled thumbs again- Just... Thinking about family and stuff. RILEY: -she smiles just a little- there's a lot to think about when you're thinking about family and stuff. got anything that's bothering you in particular? DIRK: No. Not bothering me. DIRK: Just that I like... All of this. Feeling like I'm a part of a somewhat normal familial unit for once. DIRK: I like it. Kinda makes me consider the possibility of having a bigger family some day? -more shrugging- RILEY: -she reaches over to put a hand on Dirk's twiddling thumbs- i'm really happy you get to have it. even after so much time. RILEY: and it's normal to want a bigger family. even though i convinced myself we couldn't handle a second child, i still kind of wanted one after you. and then i got dave. -and now she's thinking about how she was just THIS CLOSE to having a third, and the fleeting disappointment when she discovered she wasn't.- DIRK: -tell Dirk about it, he loves gossip- DIRK: Yeah. I just wish circumstances were different. I wouldn't want to bring more life into alla this nonsense. RILEY: your head and your heart want different things most of the time, which makes mixing logic with what you want doesn't ever really make sense. RILEY: can i... -she pauses- can i tell you something? might be a little tmi. but relevant, i guess. DIRK: -glances at her- Yeah, go ahead. RILEY: i, uh. -she removes her hand, instead rubbing at the back of her neck.- between the times that we've seen each other, i thought that... -she lets out a half-amused laugh- i thought i was pregnant again. DIRK: -eyes widen behind shades- No shit? RILEY: -she looks a little embarrassed- yeah. i'm not. but it was definitely a scare. and for a bit i imagined what that would mean. a chance to start over. a reason to come back. and a part of me really didn't hate it. DIRK: So... you would've come to live with us if that had been the case? RILEY: -she shrugs- maybe? it would have been your dad's, so it wouldn't be fair if i... -she looks away- he missed out on a lot, too, you know? couldn't keep it to myself. RILEY: it would have been his decision too. something we'd have to, you know. decide together. DIRK: Right. -that is SO weird to think about. it would've changed everything for his dad, really. he knows that despite their strained relationship, they cared a lot about each other. maybe even still loved each other, so he had to figure that he would've chosen to be with his mother instead of roxanne, and then russet... oh shit, does riley know about russet?- DIRK: Uh... This might seem a little out of left field but... Have you met Roxanne yet? RILEY: -she shakes her head- no, actually. seems like a nice lady. but i get why we haven't. i guess it's sort of weird. DIRK: Oh yeah. She is... DIRK: But I guess this means you haven't met... Russet? : -she raises an eyebrow- who? DIRK: -oh nooooooooo.- She's uh... this young troll that Roxanne started taking care of recently. -he's not sure why he isn't just straight up ratting his dad out. it's kind of shit of him to exclude that information. perhaps his apprehension stems from not wanting to make waves during the holidays...- RILEY: -she doesn't seem to completely get it- charitable of her. don't get me wrong, i'm not really into the idea of meeting more trolls that don't have some sort of connection with any of you. -kind of a fucked up thing to say, and she knows it, but it's true- DIRK: -winces a little hearing that. he gets it, but at the same time... well, he's just going to spit it out.- D... DIRK: Dad has been helping Roxanne raise her. RILEY: ... -she pauses, trying to process what the hell she just heard. it's a bit too overwhelming to consider- you mean he's like running errands or something. RILEY: for her. and the troll kid. DIRK: -hIM AND HIS BIG MOUTH... he regrets this... but she'd have to find out eventually, right??- DIRK: I mean like getting all parental and shit. RILEY: you're saying he adopted the troll kid. -it makes her heart sink, hearing that, thinking of how she should have known this.- DIRK: ... -he just nods in response.- RILEY: -she swallows, her expression hardening a bit.- cool. that's...good for him. great. -she's feeling too many things right now to identify one single emotion, but it's making her feel like she needs to get out of here.- listen. i, uh. -her voice shakes in a subtle fashion but stops there- DIRK: -rubs at the back of his neck- Uh... Hey. -awkwardly leans in to wrap his arms around her. he might not know what's going through her head, but it's easy to tell she's upset about it.- DIRK: ... I'm sorry you have to find out from me. Seems like it shoulda been someone else. -he doesn't even really get why it wasn't mentioned at all...- RILEY: -she's feeling tears when dirk hugs her, and she's resistant at first, not wanting to be like this in front of him, but she's hurt. above everything else, she's hurt.- i was just stupid for thinking...that i could possibly know everything. -she finally hugs dirk back- i don't want to talk about it. DIRK: That's okay. We don't have to. -gives her a squeeze, feeling downright AWFUL about this. he doesn't want to see her upset... that's the last thing he wants.- RILEY: -she takes a breath and pulls away- i'm gonna go. but i promise i'll come back tomorrow. i just need some time. DIRK: -nods, holding her at arm's length for a moment before letting go to give her space- It's all good. I'll be here. DIRK: Or... around. If I'm not here, I'm usually at the gym or working... Uh. DIRK: You can just message me or something. -AWKWARD STRIDER RAMBLING- RILEY: -she nods even if she's not really hearing him.- i'll message you. -and then she stands and leaves.- DIRK: -sits there feeling defeated after she disappears. way to fucking go DEREK.-
individual speed dating r2 - dirk
ARADIA: -walks over to dirk- hello! DIRK: Hey. ARADIA: long time no see! ARADIA: except that is not the case ARADIA: i know...most of these questions DIRK: I know. I keep getting paired with friends I already have. ARADIA: so do we skip to favorite food? ARADIA: i dont know yours ARADIA: i just know you like orange soda DIRK: Doritos. DIRK: What's yours? ARADIA: oh wait yes i knew that ARADIA: skull pancakes! DIRK: Ah. Did you make those for that potluck ages ago? I have a vague recollection. ARADIA: i think so ARADIA: oh shit i forgot to bring something today! DIRK: It's cool, I didn't bring anything either. ARADIA: at least were on the same page ARADIA: um ARADIA: oh! ARADIA: your most prized possession! DIRK: My puppet friend, Lil Cal. ARADIA: ooh! DIRK: What about you? ARADIA: probably that antique music box i had that was smashed and then sollux restored for me DIRK: Ahh. Right. DIRK: Damn, we really do know all the basics about each other, don't we? ARADIA: yes we do ARADIA: im ok with it though! DIRK: Me too. DIRK: This is kind of eye opening for me. ARADIA: really? how so? DIRK: That even when I'm randomly paired up with people, thus far, 100% of the time I've been hooked up with good friends. DIRK: Means I've made enough good relationships to really swing the odds in my favor. ARADIA: yeah thats true! ARADIA: the same has happened for me also ARADIA: i was just with kurloz! ARADIA: -looks over at the noise- ARADIA: oh DIRK: *IGNORES ARANEA'S YELLING* DIRK: Kurloz, huh? ARADIA: yeah! hes one of my good friends DIRK: I still haven't really gotten to know the guy. DIRK: No offense but he's kinda creepy. ARADIA: weird! i dont see it DIRK: *looks over at kurloz* ... Yeah, I guess you wouldn't. DIRK: Maybe I'll get paired with him. ARADIA: it would definitely be a good thing ARADIA: it might help to learn sign language though DIRK: I do know some sign language. DIRK: *signs HELLO to her.* DIRK: Just a little. ARADIA: -she signs HELLO ANIME BOY to him- DIRK: *snickers* ARADIA: did you get that DIRK: I did. *signs LET'S MOVE to her next and starts to shuffle back to the group*
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-- artifactualAnnihilation [AA] began trolling technetronicTactician [TT] at 18:37 --
AA: dirk i would like to first tell you how happy i am
AA: that you are back with us on the ship!
AA: but i also have a question for you
TT: Oh, hey. Thanks, Aradia.
TT: What is it?
AA: how do you go about
AA: hmm how do i put this
AA: how do you woo a human male
TT: Ah.
TT: Well, you came to the right place.
TT: As we all know, I'm an expert on that topic.
AA: yes that is exactly why i came to you!
AA: you are the expert here
TT: Okay, here's what you have to do.
TT: First of all, you gotta give the human male a sense of understanding for his culture. I would suggest sharing a classic human meme with him, like this one:
TT: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
TT: But don't tell him what it is before you link it. Surprise him.
TT: Human males love surprises.
AA: ooh ok!
AA: i can see john liking this guy
AA: i mean
AA: oh shit
TT: Lol.
TT: I kind of figured.
AA: just dont say anything yet ok?
TT: Your secret is safe with me.
AA: thanks
AA: ok so
AA: share with him this video
AA: and surprise him!
AA: what else?
TT: In a similar vein, I would suggest assaulting him with projectiles. Especially if those projectiles are edible. Like, say... A cake or something.
TT: I know it sounds strange, but we are a bizarre and wonderful species.
AA: i had no idea this was a part of human courtship
TT: That's because nobody does it right.
TT: But I don't pull any punches.
TT: I do things the right way.
AA: if anyone does things the right way its you dirk!
TT: Damn straight.
AA: so show him memes and also throw food at him
AA: what else?
TT: Well, if that somehow doesn't win him over, you can always come back to me for more ideas. I'm running low at the moment.
TT: Since, you know, I excert so much time and energy into picking up guys as it is already.
AA: exactly!
AA: well im glad to have received these tips
TT: Anytime.
AA: i suppose i should go try them out!
TT: Yes, please do.
AA: lets catch up later ok?
TT: Sure thing.
AA: bye dirk!
TT: Later.
-- technetronicTactician [TT] gave up trolling artifactualAnnihilation [AA] at 20:11 --
[02:09] -- technologicGodot [TG] began pestering technetronicTactician [TT] at 14:09 --
[02:09] TG: so youre not makin out with sollux or anything right now are you
[02:10] TT: I'm not *making out* with him, no.
[02:11] TG: im assumin you got some reunion shit going on for i dunno how long but anway is it safe if me and dove come over
[02:12] TT: You can come over.
[02:13] TG: youre gonna get some karl too cuz she wont leave me the fuck alone
[02:13] TG: anyway im on my way
[02:14] TT: Okay. The door is open.
[02:16] DAVE: -and in walks dave with karl literally at his heels and a growing dove in his arms. he seems a little out of breath- hey
[02:20] DIRK: *dirk is on his feet when dave arrives, pacing around the room a bit. citrin's sitting on the little table in the center of the room with paper and crayons. HE FUCKING LOVES COLORING. dirk turns to dave, standing there a little awkwardly.* Hey.
[02:22] DAVE: -he notices the pacing when he comes in but acts like nothing is going on.- hey
[02:22] DAVE: dove uh missed you
[02:24] DIRK: *DOVE. right, he should go greet them properly, wandering over to the dad and daughter pair.* Did you, Dove? *manages a small smile for her.*
[02:24] DIRK: You're getting big.
[02:25] DAVE: -dove smiles at dirk and babbles at him and dave takes this opportunity to just straight up hand her over- here she wants to see you
[02:28] DIRK: *ohp okay, he will accept this delivery, looking at her as he holds her.* I'm surprised she recognizes me with all of this going on. *gestures at beard.*
[02:28] DAVE: shes gotta memorize the scent of the soap you use or somethin
[02:30] DIRK: *snorts* That's gotta be it.
[02:32] DAVE: -he rubs the back fo his own neck, looking over at dirk and dove as he goes to sit next to citrin- so showers huh
[02:32] DAVE: pretty sure i stayed in there for three hours
[02:32] DAVE: -karl is super excited to see dirk and BARKS at him-
[02:33] DIRK: *startled by the sudden noise, holding dove to him* ... *stares at karl and gingerly leans down to pet her*
[02:33] DIRK: Uh, yeah. Same here... But that's about how long I take in the shower anyway.
[02:39] DAVE: -karl licks his hand and pants while dave ruffles citrin's hair- yeah... -dave doesn't usually spend three hours in the shower. two is more like it if he's having a bad day- hey lil cit
[02:40] DIRK: *citrin looks up at dave with a smile and chirps a "halo." at him before offering him a crayon. dirk would like to sit, but resumes pacing instead.*
[02:44] DAVE: aw shit you dont want to give me a crayon do you -he takes the crayon anyway and starts drawing on citrin's paper. dove gives dirk's cheek an attempted kiss like her parents give her, but at this point it's just basically slobber-
[02:52] DIRK: *oh god dirk's being slobbered all over by everybody. he wheezes softly before returning the kiss to the top of dove's head.* So, uh... Have you seen many people yet?
[02:52] DIRK: *citrin resumes drawing something that vaguely resembles a honeycomb.*
[02:53] DAVE: well i saw bro last night seen jade seen karkat this morning
[02:53] DAVE: seen john seen fuckin james
[02:53] DAVE: seen rose
[02:53] DAVE: so i guess yeah sorta but it was all at once yesterday
[02:54] DIRK: Yes, well... I guess I meant if you've caught up with many people. *shifts dove into his other arm*
[02:54] DIRK: Who's James?
[02:55] DAVE: i guess hes johns dad but he was kind of like my mentor on skaia
[02:56] DAVE: but no i havent caught up with anyone really just karkat
[02:58] DIRK: *blinks* Your mentor, huh? Weird. *bounces dove a lil*
[02:58] DIRK: Jake was telling me about him.
[02:58] DAVE: hes a pretty cool dude like
[02:58] DAVE: taught me a lot
[02:58] DAVE: made sure i was ok and that sort of shit
[02:58] DAVE: looked out for me
[02:58] DAVE: what did jake say about him
[03:02] DIRK: Not much. Just that I'd like him.
[03:02] DIRK: That he's been helping Jake in the kitchens. *smiles a little* Apparently he helped Jake wrap my birthday present, too.
[03:02] DAVE: its kinda hard not to like james
[03:03] DAVE: guy doesnt give you a reason to hate him
[03:03] DAVE: what did jake give you
[03:06] DIRK: *wanders over to the tv, picking up a game case that's lying beside it and then handing it over to dave to look at. the game is titled GRAND THEFT HORSE.*
[03:06] DIRK: He alchemized it. I didn't have the heart to tell him he spent all that time figuring out the right combination to make me what is basically Red Dead Redemption, heh.
[03:14] DAVE: holy fuck thats not an easy thing to alchemize -draws sweet bro on citrin's coloring page-
[03:14] DAVE: nice tho
[03:17] DIRK: Yeah, it's pretty impressive. *sighs through his nose*
[03:17] DIRK: I don't know what to do for him, though. Or anyone.
[03:17] DIRK: Why do we all have to have birthdays one after the other?
[03:18] DAVE: i gotta make it up to jade somehow like
[03:18] DAVE: pull somethin really neat together
[03:22] DIRK: *goes back to pacing* Yeah. Yeah...
[03:22] DIRK: Shit. I usually plan for these things way in advance. The one time I don't, this... *he just trails off after that*
[03:22] DAVE: -he nods after a moment- yeah
[03:22] DAVE: same
[03:23] DAVE: like ok so i didnt really give a shit about anyones birthdays unless it was john jade or rose
[03:23] DAVE: cuz growing up we all just
[03:23] DAVE: did the gift thing for each other
[03:23] DAVE: i didnt even have a technical address
[03:24] DAVE: so i had them sent to a nearby one and just checked every day to make sure it got to me
[03:24] DAVE: sometimes numerous times a day
[03:31] DIRK: *nods along as dave speaks, wandering back and forth* I get that. I was the same way with Roxy.
[03:31] DIRK: I didn't know my own birthday until last year, though. I... kinda preferred it that way. Didn't want people going out of their way for me, you know?
[03:31] DIRK: Mostly cuz I never feel like I respond properly to gifts.
[03:33] DAVE: -watches him pace around with dove enjoying the ride probably- how do you respond to gifts anyway
[03:34] DIRK: I never know what to say? I probably come off as ungrateful, but really it just... *shrugs* Overwhelms me, I guess.
[03:35] DAVE: i get weird with them too dude
[03:35] DAVE: thats the best part of receiving gifts sent to you
[03:35] DAVE: dont gotta look the person in the eye
[03:38] DIRK: *snorts* Makes sense.
[03:38] DIRK: I don't think I acted like a total asshat last night when Jake gave me that. But I'm sure that is more thanks to the fact that-- *pauses, looking at the floor.*
[03:38] DIRK: I was just really relieved.
[03:39] DAVE: what relieved about finally getting out of there -draws hella jeff next to sweet bro. dove touches dirk's face-
[03:40] DIRK: ... Yeah. *leans into dove's little hand and doesn't say anything else.*
[03:41] DAVE: im ok if thats all i get like
[03:41] DAVE: thats all i wanted
[03:41] DAVE: was to get out of there
[03:46] DIRK: Me too. *he feels tired suddenly and goes to sit on his bed.*
[03:49] DAVE: it was three weeks
[03:50] DIRK: Three weeks. *stares at the wall.* Jesus Fucking Christ.
[04:24] DAVE: yeah for real though
[04:24] DAVE: are you uh
[04:24] DAVE: does it feel weird for you too
[04:26] DIRK: *nods* Yeah...
[04:26] DIRK: Yeah it does.
[04:29] DAVE: -he looks down at his drawing of sweet bro and hella jeff and it's obvious his hand has been shaking, so he holds it out to show dirk- and this
[04:29] DAVE: this bullshit
[04:34] DIRK: *he glances over at him, but can't look for very long.* I know. It... sucks, to say the least.
[04:34] DIRK: I thought I could handle that sort of thing, you know?
[04:34] DIRK: But it completely wrecked me.
[04:35] DIRK: I'm not even sure how I'm managing to act even remotely sane right now.
[04:35] DIRK: Because I don't feel that way.
[04:36] DAVE: -he nods- i know i got this feelin that im still a whole world away
[04:36] DAVE: like i still gotta be on high alert
[04:37] DAVE: i dont feel any less tense
[04:44] DIRK: Me too. Even when I manage to relax... Maybe catch some sleep.
[04:44] DIRK: I jolt right out of it.
[04:46] DAVE: -he nods, frowning a little- i dont feel like
[04:46] DAVE: dove is safe with me
[04:51] DIRK: *he glances over at citrin, who is still DRAWING AWAY innocently, and swallows.* Yeah.
[04:52] DIRK: I get that.
[04:52] DAVE: i hate being like this but i wish she was with jade
[05:08] DIRK: I... think she'd understand if you can't really look after Dove on your own right now.
[05:08] DIRK: As difficult as it may be to admit. *casually gives brotherly advice despite how awful he feels himself.*
[05:15] DAVE: but jade still cant sleep in the same room with her even if she does sleep through most of the night
[05:15] DAVE: and i want to- i want to be able to be her dad cuz i missed out on almost a month
[05:39] DIRK: ... *nods* That makes sense.
[05:42] DAVE: but i also feel like im gonna be the reason she gets hurt
[05:44] DAVE: -ok now he has to wipe his eyes under his shades-
[05:56] DIRK: *he watches dave for a second, expression softening, and then gets off the bed to sit next to him at the table.* I know, I... I understand.
[05:56] DIRK: I really do.
[05:58] DAVE: the weird thing is i know you do
[05:58] DAVE: -he sniffs, looking over at citrin and over at dove, feeling intensely guilty-
[06:10] DIRK: *wraps an arm around dave's shoulder while he has dove on his other hip.*
[06:10] DIRK: We're both pretty messed up, huh?
[06:12] DAVE: -he leans against dirk- yeah
[06:12] DAVE: we were already fucked to begin with and now its just
[06:12] DAVE: the cherry on top
[06:31] DIRK: *laughs a little, but it's a tired one* Pretty much.
[06:31] DIRK: But I still got your back.
[06:32] DAVE: -he sniffs and nods- thanks
[06:33] DAVE: i got yours too
[06:37] DIRK: I know you do, dude.
[06:40] DAVE: do you think were gonna be able to get over this
[06:55] DIRK: ... I'm not sure.
[06:56] DIRK: But hopefully we can learn to deal with it.
[09:15] DAVE: do you think we could have avoided getting there
[09:25] DIRK: *he's quiet for a moment* ... Maybe.
[09:33] DAVE: -he quiets at that. in fact, he quiets a lot-
[09:33] DAVE: do you think hes disappointed
[09:35] DIRK: ... What?
[09:35] DAVE: nothing nevermind
[09:36] DIRK: *he's silent again for a bit, until he eventually sighs*
[09:37] DIRK: I don't think that he is.
[09:38] DAVE: ok -is all he can think about saying, feeling stupid for bringing it up-
[10:04] DIRK: *squeezes his arm around dave's shoulder a little tighter, but he says nothing else about it*
[10:05] DAVE: -and dave will be just fine if he can stay here for a while with his brother, he figures. if he can at least do that.-
[10:12] DIRK: *dave is definitely welcome to stay as long as he needs to, not just for his own sake, but for dirk's as well. after experiencing what they did, he finds himself gravitating towards the company of his brother even moreso than usual. as awful as it was, he's glad it's something they can share.*