#witcher fic header

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The problem with reading extremely amazing more than book length with spin offs canon-divergence fic big on the divergence part? There's no way I'll go back to normal fic after this because this is way better than anything canon related! Oh well, it's nice while it lasts, and there are always other fandoms to go to for a long while until I've forgotten this series enough that I can read more canon compliant shit again xD

On the topic of forgetting things tho - I do that quite quickly and frequently, so I write summaries of longfics and series I read especially wips, and this one turned too long for the Ao3 bookmark - even though I'm only summarizing the main fics where the plot happens - so here we go instead! reading feb25, am at 21/1 making this post, but I'll keep updating the summary. Which, yeah, the rest of the post is my excuse to keep the summary on tumblr xD

Oh also, i had read the star wars version of this by BairnSidhe first before i even realized it's based on this! The fic is also very very good.

more like it: https://archiveofourown.org/tags/Inspired%20by%20The%20Accidental%20Warlord%20and%20His%20Pack%20Series%20-%20inexplicifics/works

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spoilers p1 - with a conquering air

Jaskier is sent as a tribute, given up as a sacrifice by his family and the other royalty, who think he'll be raped and killed by the Witchers.

When Eskel meets him in Kaer Mohen, he frees Jaskier from his bindings and brings him to Gerald and Yennefer. When she finds out he's a bard she decides Geralt needs a court bard, and Jaskier stays with them. He also tutors Ciri.

Jaskier finds that Geralt is kind, nice to Ciri, lets his friends tease him... and Geralt is hot. Jaskier starts falling in lust and love with him, and a year after he arrives they get together

spoilers p4 - only love proudly and gladly and well

Jaskier's home country negotiates a treaty with the Witchers. Jaskier rewrites the whole thing in their favor and accompanies the witchers and Yennefer there.

Jaskier helps clear up misconceptions about the Witchers to some younger court people, among them Milena of Roggeven, telling to them all about how nice the witchers treated him despite him being sent as a sacrifice, and how he fell in love with Geralt.

The witchers learn that way about him being a sacrifice in the first place. They have his father sent away, threatening to kill him should they ever see him again, and have the king sign the treaty without any changes.

Back home, several eligible women come to court Geralt. Yennefer and Jaskier make plans to make their stay miserable, as well as creating a set of rules for potential wives, including needing to accept Ciri as heir, and getting her approval for the position.

Jaskier also thinks about whether he wants his relationship with Geralt to be made official and decides that if Geralt wants that, he wants it too.

Milena is one of the ladies in waiting sent with the women, befriends Jaskier and falls in love with Lambert.

A princess attacks Jaskier, he survives, she is sent home via portal accompanied by angry witchers. The other women are kicked out, except Milena who swears loyalty.

spoilers p9 - your faults had made me love you more

Milena finds her place in Kaer Moen, teaching Ciri, helping Yennefer with Geralt's correspondence, sending letters home, helping Triss in the still, doing embroidery, learning dagger fighting from Lambert and teaching him to braid her hair.

Milena gets together with Lambert

Zofia, a human fighter woman and another witcher's lover, has some advice for her: to wait until she's ready to sleep with him, where a more private place to bathe is during her monthlies, and that witchers' lovers end up almost as immortal as the witchers themselves.

spoilers p11 - Twirl Three Notes and Make a Star

The witcher is invited to an even festival. Jaskier, Ciri and 13 witchers incl Eskel journey there also so Jaskier and Ciri won't be home for the Witcher Trials. They save a family of elves from a monster and Ciri befriends the kid.

Eskel and Jaskier grow closer. Jaskier knows Geralt would take Eskel to bed if he asked and suspects Eskel thinks the same of Geralt. Once they meet at the festival all three get together.

Jaskier meets a historian elf and invites him to Kaer Morhen to write the Witcher histories.

spoilers p14 - I Have Heart-Fire and Singing to Give

At some point I think before this part

Jaskier goes to Oxenfurt with Milena and 20 witchers to guard them incl Eskel and Lambert. During his performance, Milena is kidnapped through a portal and before they can do anything Jaskier is kidnapped through another one, Eskel stabbed as he follows them.

The plot was made by Milena's sister Marta, the princess Agatha who stabbed Jaskier before, and a sorceress. Marta wants the shame of her sister living with witchers removed from her family, Agatha just wants revenge.

Jaskier bandages Eskel, Milena has hairpins to unlock their shackles and hidden daggers from Lambert. When they confront them, Agatha tries to stab Milena and Milena kills her. Jaskier knocks out the sorceress, and the spell hiding them is lifted so Yennefer can find them.

Marta begs them not to have her actions affect her family and their little sister Marika. Jaskier offers for Marta to go into exile in a part of the wolf's country where they stopped on their way to an elf festival, in return for the baron's daughter becoming another lady in waiting for Ciri, so Marta won't have to be killed

spoilers p20 - The Debt Is Terrible That Must Be Paid In Song

Jaskier is temporarily turned into 6y/o Julian, scared of his own father and any adult men in power.

Smelling his dear and being angry of his father's treatment of him, Aubrey, who looks out for him like an older brother, realizes the treatment of the witchers-to-be is wrong. Once Jaskier is turned back, it is put to a vote, and decided that the training will change - from now on they will be trained like Ciri is, and she will train with them.

Spoilers p24 - the Shadow of the Mountains Will Not Fall

Geralt is dangerously injured in a plot by the king of temeria. He lives but requires many potions. Ciri organizes the trainees to help brew more while Jaskier organizes the rest of the castle.

Eskel kills the king and anyone else in the plot, then puts Griffin, a minor baron from the countryside who had no idea what's going on, on the throne.

In p25 we learn Emhyr var Emreis actually had something to do with the plot. He then learns who Ciri is and decides they need to try diplomacy instead.

Spoilers p28 - Found At Last In Meeting Eyes

Griffin, the new King of Temeria, needs a wife to establish his lineage and to help him rule the basically completely new court because everyone from the old one was killed... he asks the Warlord for aid in finding him a wife.

He has help from his older sister Tara in running the household, but they're worried about their youngest sister, 14 y/o Nix, who is a wildling and wouldn't do well at court, and while that's alright for a baron's youngest, it's not for a princess, and she'd be in danger if left home for much longer but miserable at court or married off... He and Tara decide that it will be a good question to pose to any potential wives(queens), will they try to break Nix's spirit or understand the true difficulties or even have valuable advice?

Marika, middle sister of Roggeven, decides that Milena is the only person in her family worth anything, and also her only chance at a good life, and begs her sister to find her a husband. She takes her dowry and her loyal maid Kasia and two guards and leaves for Kaer Morhen.

Jaskier introduces Marika and Griffin without telling them their true identities, so Marika only learns he's a king once she's already interested in him. Milena reassures her that she's a proper match for a king - not just a duke's daughter, but basically a sister by marriage to the Warlord through Milena and Lambert.

Marika suggests Nix could be a lady in waiting for Ciri.

P30 - Oh, Be For Me The Sky

Cat witcher Dragonfly comes across Livi, young noble Redanian noblewoman Oliwia, while on patrol, and Livi begs sanctuary from the White Wolf. She's fleeing from an arranged marriage to an older noble known for killing his wives and other young girls.

Livi stays in Kaer Morhen as Eskel's secretary and falls in love with Dragonfly.

Because the king clearly isn't keeping his nobles under control, Geralt wants to declare war on Redania.

P35 - Into the Light Out of Darkness

They plan to go Redania and observe to find more obvious breeches of the treaty because Cintra etc would be mad about conquering for just some 'minor' infractions. The plan is to go on 'progress' touring the established territory + visiting Redania to talk to the king about what's going on there and hopefully find a good reason to get rid of him

Meanwhile, Milena's friend Aleksander 'Sasha' is made Duke after the old Duke Oliwia was supposed to marry dies. Aleksander learns from the King and a mage that they have taken a witcher prisoner in Aleksander's new home and are using his blood on girls turning them into almost-witchers but killing most of them in the process. The Mage makes it so he can't talk about it to anyone, and stays with him to watch his correspondence. He has a magic box for writing Milena though and secretly sends her a letter.

Now, the Witchers have a reason to go to war. King Eist of Cintra and young Prince(?) Xenon of (?)(can't keep the damn names straight) bear witness to make sure Calanthe etc won't think the Warlord is conquering for no reason. They go to free the Witcher and young Zia, an outspoken former peasant girl, and Maja, Ada and Elena, burn down the house, then go kill the king. Aleksander comes to Kaer Morhen, his brother is the new Duke.

P38 - That Is Born Out Of Agony

(skipped C1 bc rape warning) Renfri, after killing a man who meant to hurt her, and on the run from mage Stragomir, decides to go to the Witchers for justice, even if they will slay her because she is cursed. If anyone kills her, it should be the White Wolf.

She stumbles into a dwarf tunnel, and journeyman Gilmeth takes her to his family home. Renfri uses the name Shrike and doesn't say she's royal. Gilmeth's grandfather has business with the Wolf (Renfri's stepmother allows mistreatment of nonhumans) and takes her and Gilmeth through dwarven routes to the mountain. Once they get back above ground, Stregomir finds them, but so do two witchers, they put an anti magic chain on him and Renfri and they all swear not to do harm, she swears not to do them harm of her free will, and they're taken to Kaer Morhen.

Geralt slays Strgomir for his lies and allows Renfri to stay as long as she likes. Ciri introduces her to Zofia. The dwarves also stay and design a better gatehouse as Gilmeth's mastery. Renfri's stepmother is killed by Witcher Coën who Renfri befriends, Renfri's father didn't know but also doesn't seem to care about her much except trying to avoid looking at her because she looks like his late wife. Renfri stays in Kaer Morhen.

P44 - Flung to Catch a Star

Emrys of Nilfgard sends prince Morvran Voorhis to negotiate a treaty with the White Wolf.

When Letho and other witchers meet the Nilfgardians and have them swear not to harm anyone in Kaer Morhen, three groomers and Morvran's personal manservant lie. The manservant had orders from a Nilfgardian royal (Evertsen not Emrys) to kidnap Ciri, the groomsmen had orders to hurt the horses, two for their own gain, one, Ilimar Laret, because his Lord threatened Laret's wife. He's taken with them and the wife rescued, the rest is killed.

Morvran has orders to both get the treaty and win Ciri's hand in marriage, and didn't expect that she's not open for political marriage, or any marriage until she's 18. When Geralt asks him why he even wants to be emperor, and explains that he and Ciri will be leaders only to protect people, Morvran reconsiders and vows to be a man the Witchers can respect.

Morvran's knight bodyguard(?) Cahir spends time with the oldest Witcher trainees, a mixed school group incl. Eryk, who has a puppy love crush on Eskel. Cahir is in Emrys service as a political hostage, and comes to trust and believe in Movran properly during their time in Kaer Morhan when Movran invites him to speak freely, listens to him, takes him into his personal service, and offers him use of his first name in private. Sergeant Hanif is also part of some of their meetings.

Geralt says no treaty as long as Evertsen has any power, Emrys sends them Evertson as a prisoner and he's killed. Yennefer can make portals to and from Nilfgard much easier than should be possible, Jaskier suspects it's because she's getting so much practice.

While treaty proceedings are underway, Princess Rhiannon of Poviss comes to ask for Poviss to join the Warlord's lands because it's the sensible thing to do. Geralt accepts and it will be official when they'll visit Poviss during Progress. When Cahir hears of this, he's at first angry because Poviss gives up the kind of independence his own country (Vicovaro) wishes it had from Nilfgard, but he understands Wolfland isn't Nilfgard.

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The treaty is finally made with three conditions: from the Wolf, a) that Movran tells Emrys Ciri won't come to Nilfgard except to conquer it as long as there are slaves, and b) (secret to anyone else), Movran swears to work towards a Nilfgard that no longer has slaves. And from Emrys, that Ciri and Geralt will come and meet him on neutral ground.

P45 Wrapped in the Wind and the Sun

Yennefer meets Fringilla to renew their friendship and ally against the Brotherhood.

& Here's a couple

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Main image sources here, more sources: Yennefer Eskel Ciri2 Geralt2 potions ruins Witcher