#wirekind

HOW ARE YOU, WIRE-SAN?

It’s quiet, and things are set up pleasantly. You take a look around before going to set the cookies and the flowers down. Then you turn your attention to the painting. Nini, painted in colours that were so vibrant, alive even, and reminded you so much of them. It was beautiful, but reminded you how you never did get to meet them in person. You really wish you had, though. You sit down in a chair for a while, staring at the picture, unsure of how you’re feeling. It’s been a long week, an after the first day you had settled into something of a numbness. You’re still feeling numb, even now. You thought coming here, that it might finalize things. Cement the fact to your pan. Open yourself up the grief, not that you haven’t been feeling grief, but in a way that gives closure. You instead just feel confused. Eventually you find yourself stealing glances at anyone else who may have come. Giving them sad smiles if they caught your eye. There were people far closer to Nini, people who’ve had parts of their heart ripped out at their loss. Soon you just start to stare down at your hands, not wanting to see the heartbreak on anyone’s faces.  You think of how you first met Ninara, of your mutual friend who you had yet to contact over all this, of the kindness Nini showed as soon as they knew you weren't trying to help that mutual friend be a complete asshole. You think of all the times they’ve helped you through this past year, all the shitty things they’ve tried to alleviate to some degree. You remember their own share of horrible troubles and worrying about them and hoping for things to turn out for the best for them. You think of all the wonderful selfies, and every true word you’ve ever gushed in the tags while reblogging them. You think about all the things you haven’t really let yourself think on all week, right down to the fact that other than escaping the timeline there was nothing they could have done. They knew it was coming. The last messages on their blog. Your eyes burn with a familiar sting of tears, but you’re calm as you let them fall, still confused at how you’re feeling. You’re not over this, you’re not over any friend death really. But it’s getting to be too much, to hold onto your pain, to focus on it. Besides, it feels almost wrong with how you hold onto your anger and hurt. It was unfortunate, but as far as you know, it’s no one’s fault the timeline imploded. Ninara wasn’t the only one who lost their life either. The best thing you could do now was work yourself into saying goodbye. After rubbing at your eyes, you look back up toward the painting, trying to imagine that it’s them.  “i’m sorry,” you think, “this isn’t fair. yoU shoUld still be with Us. bUt please, wherever yoU may be now... i wish yoU the best.” Did Ninara play the game? You can’t remember. You’re unsure if they’d have a ghost. Something deep down tells you not to hold out hope. “yoU will be missed, and yoU were dearly loved... by a lot of people, actUally. yoUr friends loved yoU so mUch. hoo.... vriska really pUt together something swell here.” Your thoughts turn you to look toward Vriska, you’ll need to speak to her before leaving. Offer a hug maybe? “i’m sorry i don’t know what more to say. i wasn’t ready to loose another friend so soon. i certainly wasn’t ready to lose a friend like yoU dear.” You stand up, still lost in thought. “i won’t forget yoU. i... really wish i’d have been able to get to know yoU more. i’m sorry i didn’t tell bill yet... i jUst didn’t think it woUld be wise.” Your ears droop, and you cross over to the painting once more. Then, you give it a small bow. “goodbye, nini.” This time, you’re whispering to yourself. And with that, you go to find the funeral’s host to thank her for putting this together and wish her well. You’ll gladly talk to anyone else about should they wish, but otherwise, you’ll probably go home soon.

((THAT ANON WAS WIRE. IT WAS WIRE.))

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