#wintimacy

Do you find yourself making efforts to steer clear of people so that they don't have to deal with a failure like you? Does your growing sense that you're a loser keep you from forming lasting relationships? Do you think that finding success is a prerequisite to being loved? If so, it's likely that you struggle with wintimacy issues.

Wintimacy = win + intimacy. It is the kind of intimacy that is achieved when a recent but uncharacteristic success gives you the confidence to let another person into the inner recesses of your black black loser's heart. It is great for that brief period of time during which you have achieved something notable, and thusly believe that merely associating with you might not entirely ruin another person's life. You let your guard down, and, against all odds, become close to someone.

So how does wintimacy begin? There are lots of ways. Maybe you go to a party at which you win first prize in a oatmeal creme pie-eating contest. Maybe, high on victory and that white cream stuff in the middle of the pies, you start talking to someone else at the party, someone who seems to admire what you have accomplished in such a short time. (8 pies in 2 minutes! Nothing to sneeze at!) Suddenly, you have a paramour, and you have your masterful consumption of oatmeal creme pies to thank for it.

But what happens when you are no longer eating oatmeal creme pies? Nothing good, that's for sure. As the glory of your win begins to fade, so does your emotional connection to your new paramour. Desperate to regain your wintimacy, you compete in a Swiss roll-eating contest. But this time, you lose. Oh, the indignity! Full of shame, you withdraw from life in general and from your paramour. Your paramour doesn't understand why you have suddenly built up so many emotional walls. And your paramour doesn't have the emotional rappelling equipment necessary to scale said walls. After an unproductive, sullen, stoic conversation during which you are not able to admit how deeply disappointed you are in your own shortcomings, and instead just cross your arms and say "fine, we're obviously not a good match, so why don't you just leave," your paramour takes your suggestion, and leaves. For good. Nobody wins. Except Little Debbie, which is experiencing an unusual uptick in snack sales. 

That's wintimacy.