#winteririon

WinterIron, T, 1k, Love Confession, Humor

@winterironmonth Prompt - SFW Sunday: Word, Dialogue

Word: Confession Dialogue: “Shit... I’m in love with him”

“So, when are you planning on finally admitting to the fact that you’re completely head-over-heels for him?” Steve asks flatly, and it takes a couple seconds for Bucky to actually register the words.

When he finally does, Bucky quickly tears his eyes away from watching Tony talk with his hands as he tells some story to Rhodey and Natasha by the bar. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Bucky tries to say, firmly ignoring the heat rising in his cheeks, but Steve just raises an eyebrow at him. “I don’t!”

“Okay,” Steve says, shrugging one shoulder, but Bucky just knows he isn’t letting it go that easily. Even before he opens his mouth again and asks “Remember those romance novels you used to steal from your sister? And made me swear never to mention to anyone ever?”

“Most pointedly no, I do not,” Bucky says, breaking out his absolute best death glare, but Steve continues on undaunted.

“Because if you did, I would point out that your pining could put them all to shame,” Steve says, glaring at him right back, “and if I have to see one more longing look from you I am going to go find a copy of one of those books. And throw it at you.”

“I’m not- I haven’t-” Bucky sputters, resisting the urge to glance around for an escape route, “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“Uh-huh,” Steve says, crossing his arms, “so you’ve been staring wistfully at Tony all night and all month and for a year now for some other reason.”

“Yes,” Bucky says, and then quickly backtracks to add “no, I mean- I’m not… I’m just…”

“Watching him smile?” Steve asks, with that stupid smug grin he gets when he thinks he’s right about something.

“No!” Bucky says, maybe a little more vehemently than he intended, and then lowers his voice to hiss “I’m… staring at his ass!”

“Wow,” Steve says dryly, “great defense.”

However in 30k words, I’ve only gotten as far as tentative, awkward conversations that are slowly developing to moments of building trust + becoming friends. So clearly I’ve got a long way to go still 😂

But this is already my favorite fanfic that I’ve ever written. Here’s a sneak peak :)

Bucky:

Loki has had enough of the Ex-Avengers and their actions towards Anthony. Over years, by Anthony’s request alone, Loki has left his thoughts on the topic to himself. However, after the Avengers so-called ‘Civil War’ Loki realises he cannot maintain his silence on the matter. He decides to settle the score once and for all.

Or the one where Loki roasts the Ex-Avengers because Loki does what he wants.

5,891 | 1/1 | Complete

this is just a bit of what I want to write into this AU, for when I finally figure out how to include this into the proper story. Or when I finally put everything together into one coherent story/series

I’m trying for fluff. I’m not sure I got it.

Warning: (I feel like there should be a warning, because I don’t think Bucky’s way of thinking here is entirely heathy, because he’s entirely serious about everything he thought and said, but I don’t know the some word of warning I should put) 

Obsessive tendency (maybe, in neutral light, I think he did get a bit obesessive, though I’m not sure this is something I should warn you, since he didn’t get, like crazy obsessive, no more than us obsessing over the livelihood and happiness over fictional characters anyway, I think), 

exaggeration of the highest order and thoughts. 

slightly not-steve friendly. I think it’s slightly. I think it’s pretty mild, just a few digs on his ignorance.

[fanfic idea][continuation 1]

Bucky woke from the cryo to see Tony Stark right there, standing by the side, but in the same room and looking uncomfortable. He saw Steve on the other side of the room, looking worried at Bucky but thankfully didn’t come near as soon as Bucky opened his eyes. Instead, they both came closer gradually.

Bucky, who was still disoriented, thought that Tony Stark was a hallucination. It wasn’t like he hallucinate Tony Stark often, but it could happen, considering how many times his brain got electrocuted and overall poked and prodded by HYDRA’s creepy germs. His last thought, at least the last thing he remembered before sleeping in the ice, was of the little chibi figures he had on Iron Man, and of Tony Stark after all. That’s probably why he was hallucinating the man.

(The chibi figures were cute, he had the money, and it wasn’t like he robbed the store to get it. They were save in his bag in before all the chase and heartbreak and capture began. he only hoped nobody managed to open his bag, or at least had left it be.)

As the doctor and the king asked him questions(something or something, dates, his name whatever else), he answered most of them automatically, too busy not looking at the figure (real life-sized, is his brain remembering him right? oh god, he only went face to face with the guy twice (thrice?), neither times were a peaceful encounter, and his brain could remember the man’s exact height when he struggled to remember his own name? what the fuck, brain??). He noticed Steve coming closer, a smile on his face, a little bit of relief and a little bit expectant. He absolutely beamed when the doctors pointed at Steve and asked if he remembered him (his mom’s name too, for good measure, apparently). Bucky thought knowing his name (and his mom’s, there was a line of description in the historical archive telling the world who was Captain America’s mother) shouldn’t have meant that much, since Bucky couldn’t remember who he is.

The hallucination stayed in his peripheral like a shade(light, Tony Stark can’t ever be any kind of shadow, too bright, and Bucky was the Icarus that flew to close to the Sun - only he wasn’t flying or falling, just flailing around trying to make sense of the world and the Sun is the only thing that Makes Sense), he wondered if there was still ice in his brain because the hallucination doesn’t fade. He was about to tell the king and his team of scientists about the hallucination, (wait, what if the hallucination disappear after he tells them?) but then the shade (light) speaks.

(He should be scared he was hallucinating, such a realistic hallucination too, but he was hallucinating the Sun, and he’d been standing too long in the darknes that he just wanted to bask in it. And, what a realistic imagination he had, to have the exact cadence and tone and timbre and the overall sound spot on as if the man was really there)

There was a question, Bucky had to commend his brain’s creativity and imagination, making Tony Stark sounded like he cared for Bucky’s well-being (Tony Stark would, if Bucky Barnes wasn’t his parent’s killer, or didn’t try to kill the man twice. Maybe. Bucky likes to think so, anyway.)

Bucky wasn’t answering (what if the doctors think he got worse and having hallucinations while in the ice and forced him to stay un-iced and be a danger again? He can’t do that to--) the hallucination furrowed its eyebrows (adorable, cute, this is great, was his eyes really that brown? Is that how he’s gonna look without fear in his eyes? good job, brain) and looked towards the doctors and steve, looking worried and concerned, also confused (brain, you’re really spoiling me, I’ll be so broken hearted once the real Tony Stark look at me with--dislike? animosity? hate? oh god)

“Buck, is something wrong?” Steve asked, all concerned and eyebrows furrowed (not as adorable as Tony Stark, nuh-uh, but the thought is still appreciated), then he glanced towards the doctors (and actually, towards the hallucination, but it was probably because it got near and it was standing between Steve and the doctors, so coincidence) The doctors looked back worriedly too.

Bucky looked at them in confusion. “No...? Why? Is something is supposed to be wrong?” (Bucky haven’t said anything about the hallucination, did something showed in his face? did they think Bucky got crazier because some emotional thing showed on his face?)

There was a look of confusion again as the doctors and Steve (and the hallucination of Tony Stark) look at each other again, then hallucination Tony’s face seemed to fall and he looked sad (what, no don’t fail me now, brain! Why!!?). It was just for a second, but Bucky caught the look before it turned neutral and he pasted a media smile in 0.03 seconds.

“I guess he just doesn’t want to talk to me. I can understand that,” Hallucination Tony said. Steve looked dejected and his eyesbrows furrowed even more as he turned to assure Hallucination(?) Tony.

“Wait, no! He’s just--overwhelmed. He said--(wait, what did I say, Steve?) Just,  I know he wants to talk to you (oh god what did I say? Why don’t I remember?). He just woke up, for crying out loud! He’s just--dazed! Tony, he--”

Wait.

“Wait, you’re real? You’re here?” 

Bucky figured there was something weird in his voice because not-a-hallucination Tony turned confused again, and alarmed. 

(Later, Bucky figured his voice had turned a little higher. Embarassingly, for him, it was practically a squeak. Not that he will tell anyone that)

“Well, of course I’m here. Wait, did you have a hallucination before? Have you been experiencing hallucination before the cryo?”

The doctors now looked alarmed too, but calmed when he said that no, he hasn’t been hallucinating before the cryo, hasn’t had one since HYDRA started the conditioning. They looked slightly relieved, though they were still concerned, but Bucky couldn’t notice that because HOLY SHIT TONY STARK IS HERE

HE’S CONCERNED ABOUT ME

HE’S WORRIED ABOUT ME AND I KILLED HIS PARENTS (Wait, wait, I killed his parents oh god how do I pay that would he be satisfied with cutting off my right limb I’ll prepare the tools but it probably won’t be enough will a leg suffice oh god of course it won’t they’re dead god I want to cry)

HE’S SUCH A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING AND SO FORGIVING (wait, did he forgive me? probably not. He’s just trying to do right again and just be a decent human being by not being into murder and wanted fair trial for justice and freedom, oh god he’s so wonderful)

(Why is he here?)

“Then, why did you think I was a hallucination?” Tony asked, eyebrows scrunched together (cute, so cute, I’m getting crazier oh god don’t look at his brown, beautiful eyes), Steve was looking worriedly too by the side. Bucky also noticed how Tony (not-a-hallucination!!) stood much nearer to the team of doctors and the king and Steve was standing slightly away while still within touching distance of Bucky.

Bucky was about to answer and maybe try to ask why Tony was there. He did. He started to open his mouth. But then, just before his voice said anything, he realized Tony wasn’t standing that far away from him. Not quite within touching distance, but he was right there in front of him. He was just there, breathing and standing and being a wonderful human being and Bucky just woke up from months long being a basically human popsicle, and Bucky didn’t know either from where the thought came from but it was abso-fuckin’-lutely cannot be the winter soldier.

(Oh god, my hair’s a mess why did I let it go long, I haven’t combed, why didn’t they lend me a comb when they question me in the room with Tony Stark what the fuck, oh god oh god, how’s my beard, do I look like a hobo, how’s my mouth, is my breath stink, am I sweating, does it stink, does cryo means I don’t need to brush my teeth or shower what if they’re yellow, what if I have a cumulative months of bad breath oh god oh god WHERE IS THE FUCKING BATHROOM I NEED A TOOTHBRUSH AND MOUTHWASH AND A FUCKING KNIFE)

He never cared about it before, beyond the needed aesthetic for the mission. Personal hygiene meant the bare necessities, and the knockoff serum meant he could go longer without than normal human. Hydra certainly didn’t care how his breath gonna smell when he screamed. It carried over, even when he was on the run. He tried, because he didn’t have cryo anymore, so he had to trim and shave and care about the basics of personal hygiene (because dandruff and falling hair means DNA traces and he couldn’t have that while on the run because paraoia was his friend while on the run). But he was in hiding. He was blending in. Hobo look usually works on the street, but not too hobo so people won’t stare.

That thought certainly didn’t come because he wanted to blend in. 

At the thought of his breath, his right hand came up to his mouth, hoping that he really doesn’t have bad breath or Tony won’t be able to smell it from right there. But, that move rose another wave of concern from the team of doctors, the king, Steve, and Tony.

“Mr. Barnes, do you feel sick? Do you want to throw up?” one doctor asked, looking slightly alarmed. He hasn’t even eaten anything, so if he were to throw up, yeah, that’s concerning.

He didn’t though. He just wanted a toothbrush. He’d settle for a mouthwash, really. But to speak, he’d need to open his mouth, and Tony Stark is still there.

It probably didn’t help that he’s also breathing slightly faster (because oh god, Tony Stark is here and I look so bad and I made him sad and he’s not a hallucination and he’s being a wonderful person and I’m being a jerk and I killed his parents why isn’t he shooting at me I’ll even stand still so he can get an easier shot though he probably doesn’t need it oh god Tony Stark is HERE AND HE’S LOOKING AT ME WITH SUCH CONCERN), because another doctor raised another concern.

“Mr. Barnes, are you having a panic attack?”

Bucky shook his head, though he kept his hand on his mouth. He’s not having a panic attack, goddamn it, but the everyone just looked even more alarmed and Steve rushed to his side and touched his shoulder, which, if he really was having a panic attack, would’ve been the ultimate bad move and would trigger the winter soldier’s fight-or-flight instinct.

But, since it wasn’t a panic attack and just panic, he just murmured “Bathroom” which he was pretty sure Steve could hear. Steve then told the doctors that they’re going to the adjacent bathroom (it was almost a yell, because Steve was probably alarmed and worried, but it was another really bad move if he really was having a panic attack, god Steve your teammates old and new were fuckups that have their moments of trauma why haven’t you learned it) Bucky was already heading to the bathroom (the doctors told him the layout before he was frozen, so he could realize he was in a familiar place when he would eventually be de-cryo-d). Steve, however, seemed to feel the need to stick close to Bucky, which Bucky probably could eventually find touching but it was annoying for now. The doctors’s worry and slight alarm also didn’t help. 

(But Tony looked--almost hurt, or sad? Why? What did he do again this time, oh god, he needed to give better impression than keep hurting the man why the hell didn’t they give him a fucking comb or breathmint before dammit)

In the bathroom, he hurriedly ran for the mirror and checked himself. His hair could do with a little trim, his stubbles too, maybe. His breath--oh god, he spoke in front of Tony Stark with a breath like that? Oh god--

Steve’s furrowed brow read more as confusion, extreme confusion, because he probably expected Bucky to start crying or break down or break stuff, not--gussying up.

“Buck, what’s going on...?” 

Bucky’s eyes darted around the bathroom as he answered, looking for something he can use, tooth brush, toothpaste, mouthwash, or even just mint leaves. 

“Mouthwash! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE FUCKING MOUTHWASH? My fucking breath smelled like something died in it Steve! And comb, fuck!”

Steve was still looking at him in confusion, but there was something else too, something like uncertainty. 

“You faked a panic attack because your breath stink a little? You just got out of cryo, Buck! People were worried! If you got a panic attack, there was a chance you could hurt people! And watch your language, Buck. We’re not even in American soil.”

Bucky glared at Steve for that. Language wasn’t even on Bucky’s priority list. And who the hell was faking, it was them that assumed he was having a panic attack..

“I shook my head! I couldn’t have been in cryo that long for shaking head to change its meaning to ‘yes’ in global human gesture,” he said loudly (not yell, Tony might hear him if he yelled, he didn’t want to scare him), finally locating a comb, but still no mouthwash.

Steve blinked, but Bucky didn’t quite notice, too busy at locating the elusive thing that can make his breath smell less like a dead skunk. 

“...What brought this on? You haven’t cared about your appearance like this before, even when we were chasing Zemo. I thought Tony might’ve triggered you into panic attack.”

Bucky scoffed as he hurriedly combed his hair with one remaining hand, eyes still darting around trying to find anything to use for the damned breath.

(There was a thought, just a little thought, that bristled when Steve called him Tony, like they were still friends. Within the short time he spent out of cryo until now, he could only conclude they’re now strangers that used to know each other. It wasn’t exactly a fair assessment, but Bucky thought it was close enough)

“Why would I get triggered by Stark? All things considered, I’m probably a trigger for him.”

Bucky could see Steve frowning in disapproval as he finally located a bottle of mouthwash, but really, it was the truth. And he knew his mouth was a bit loose right now, his mind focused on just getting presentable and getting rid of the animal carcass of a breath, but thankfully the look was all Steve gave.

“But, this--strange thing is because of Tony, right? You told me before you went to cryo you’d like to apologize to him, even though I told you it wasn’t your fault.”

There it is. The little, soft admonishment for wanting to apologize. From the guy that should’ve known better. The little guy would.

This guy is not that little guy.

And they all wonder why he had such a hard time remembering.

Bucky pursed his lips and decided to ignore the blonde, swishing and gurgling until he was sure the smell won’t be too noticable. Steve didn’t seem to like that, since he came closer and his hand reached for Bucky’s shoulder again, but Bucky dodged.

“I haven’t even been out of cryo for more than an hour, and you’re already interrogating me?” Bucky would sneer, he would, but whatever high he had from simply being in the presence of Tony Stark was waning and and all he could muster was a glare and cold look. Soon, he won’t even be in enough mood to talk. At least Steve look chagrined and took his hand back, but Steve still had the crease between his brows, and Bucky didn’t like that.

“You know what, yeah, I’m freaking out because Tony Stark’s here, and I want to apologize. Bad breath and bad hair means bad impression, and yeah, I’ve left worse impression before, but I’d like to look slightly better and don’t have a nasty mouth when I apologize. Now, will you leave me in peace?”

Steve pursed his lips, he looked frustrated and Bucky didn’t want to hear Steve’s argument right now. At least Steve seemd to learn to pick his battle while he was in cryo, because he left. Hopefully, Tony Stark is still in the next room with the king and the doctors.

But, when he came out of his room, only the king was there.

He couldn’t help pettily blame Steve for it.

The king smiled benevolently at him, informed him of why he was woken up, why now, and why Tony Stark was there.

It was for a device to help him get rid of his programming. The same device he used to get over the loss and trauma of losing both parents. A device he invented for himself, for all the trauma he suffered, and he let Wakanda borrow it to help heal Bucky’s fractured mind. Bucky hadn’t done anything besides causing the man’s pain, probably also one of the reasons why Tony needed to invent the thing in the first place.)

(The king also informed him that Tony was sorry if his presence caused unease on Bucky. But, he needed to be present on the testings, The king apologized for the inconvenience. But Bucky just wanted to cry because godamnit no...)

(He really, really, wanted to curl up and cry)

A/n: That’s all for now. The part with Steve was, like always, a bit unplanned. I planned to put more in this, and it was supposed to be funny but I couldn’t help the angst.

The whole reason for this AU was because I just want a scene with Bucky freaking out over bad breath and bad hair and Tony’s already there looking perfect and he looked like a licing dead hobo and dragged Steve away and shook his shoulder back and forth and yelling “WHY STEVE WHY DIDN’T YOU WARN ME YOU SHOULD’VE LET HIM IN AFTER I FINISHED WITH THE FLOSSING and the elaborate hairstyles. I really dunno what happened to steve, he was supposed to be bewildered and confused but found it funny and maybe supportive. Then I wwrote and suddenly he did not. And it got serious.... hmmmhhh......

I don’t have five, I have three though!