#winte

Ivan Shishkin

Pairing: Ethan Winters x Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

A hike to a picnic leads to some unpleasant memories from the past for Ethan. 

A/N: My first Resident Evil fanfiction! Feel free to send through requests through the ask box, I’ll be waiting!

Masterlist

She’d planned it all for their third anniversary. It had taken ages to find the right spot, hope for the perfect weather and plan the picnic on the cliffside. It was all laid out for Ethan, she just had to lead him to it. 

In hindsight, she should have put more thought into it, because right now, her boyfriend looked more queasy than delighted. 

“Do you need a break?” She asks, slowing down to a stop, turning back to him with a furrowed brow. “I know the hike’s a little steep but...” she trails off, tilting her head and assessing him carefully. 

Ethan was by no means unfit. He went on runs regularly being a morning person (horrible, she knows), and with everything he’s been through...well, she has an inkling of a suspicion that he’s a little afraid of the idea of not being able to run and be strong enough lest something happens again.

Ethan offers her a small smile that looks more like a poor grimace and shakes his head. “I’m alright, let’s keep going.” He nods uphill. “Not much far now, right?”

“You look a little miserable.” She insists. “It’s...it’s alright if you don’t want to do this, you know?”

“I do!” He says quickly, squeezing her shoulder, he leans down to press a kiss to her forehead. “I appreciate you setting this surprise up for me, even if you couldn’t keep it a secret all that well.” His smile turns a little more genuine at the tease. 

She shakes her head, feeling heat creep up her neck. So what if she had gotten a little too excited yesterday and let it slip that she arranged a picnic? He’d assured her with a laugh that he’d act just as surprised when they got there. 

“C’mon.” His hand snakes down to grab hers and he pulls her along, farther uphill. His tone would have soothed the prickle of her worry, but his hands...

His hands are cold and clammy, a stark difference from the humid, warm air around them. It makes her worry, makes her want to probe and push because something is clearly bothering him. 

He’s much too jumpy, eyes shifting from tree to tree in the foliage, shoulders tensed and a way that makes her want to massage out all the knots. Ethan jumps at twigs snapping and if she really strains her ears she can make out his slightly shaky exhales. 

The vegetation opens up to reveal a small cliff tucked away, grass blanketing the ground, lush and green, flowers growing near the cliffside. It’s a beautiful view of down below the mountain, a stream weaving in and out of the valley below, hummingbirds whizzing through the leaves above them that provide a gentle shade. 

She looks up with a smile to gauge his reaction to the lovely picnic blanket covered with his favourite treats, glasses of wine and snacks, blankets, and pillows. 

The smile on her face falters a little when the only reaction Ethan has is to squeeze her hand and take a seat on one of the pillows, staring out below the cliff. There’s a conflicted expression on his face, subtle but present, and she won’t lie and say she doesn’t feel a small pang of hurt at what seems to be the blatant disregard of her efforts. 

Nonetheless, she takes a seat next to him, feeling a little awkward when he doesn’t speak. Ethan blinks hard as if trying to rid himself of his own thoughts, and she’s just about had enough of seeing him like this. She’s hurt, yes, but concern for him greatly overshadows her own feelings. 

When she places a hand on his arm to get his attention, he grabs her wrist and turns to her quickly, caught aback. 

“...Ethan?” She frowns. 

“Shit I-...I’m sorry.” He lets her go immediately, apologetic. “Just scared me a little.” He tries a laugh, but it’s hollow and not genuine. 

She doesn’t like it. 

“Tell me what’s going on.” She demands. “Don’t say it’s nothing,” she continues when he opens his mouth to deny it. “Not when you’re trembling, Ethan.” She grabs his hand, brings it in her own lap and Ethan swallows as he realises that his hands are indeed shaking. 

It seems to snap him out of it, because he sighs and in a voice so defeated and small it makes her heart crack, says: 

“I’m sorry. This is...it’s amazing, really. You’re amazing. I love you, and I love that you did this for us, and I swear it’s got nothing to do with you, but...” He falls silent, trying to find the words. 

“But?” She prompts gently, squeezing his hand reassuringly, letting him know that she’s there and he can take all the time he wants. “You can tell me anything, you know?”

He mulls on it for a second, before taking a shaky breath. 

“It reminds me of Louisiana.” He whispers, clutching onto her hand. 

And she finally realises her mistake. The woods, the humidity, the trek through the forest. God, of course it reminded him of that hellscape, of what he’s been through. 

“Shit, I didn’t think-”

“It’s not your fault.” If he had sounded unsure before, this at least he is firm in. “My fucked up past is not your fault.” He brings an arm around her, and she tucks herself into his side, wrapping her arms around his waist. “It’s the woods, just...it reminds me of when I was trapped there.”

“I understand.” She assures him, resting her head on his shoulder. She can feel his heart racing, and it makes her feel bad. “You’ve told me about it once, and I know you hate thinking back to that place. You don’t have to explain.” 

When the only response she gets is a shaky exhale, she shifts, tugging him down until his head rests in her lap. “We can go home.” She offers, running a soothing hand through his hair, knowing it grounds him, calms him down. “None of this,” she gestures with her free hand towards the spread of food. “means anything to me. You do.”

Ethan guides her hand from his hair to his lips, presses a kiss to the inside of her wrist and mumbles against her skin: 

“I love you.”

“Not as much as I do.” She smiles when it draws a weak laugh from him. 

“I’m sorry I ruined this-”

“You didn’t ruin anything.” She brushes his hair back. “We’re gonna pack this up, go home and lay it all on our coffee table, and do a movie marathon. It’ll be just as great.” 

Despite the woods beating down on him, despite the way he feels as if he might shed his skin if he stays here any longer, the look Ethan gazes up at her with is so filled with relief and love and admiration that it makes the entire trek worth it. She’d pack and leave behind a thousand picnics if it meant he’d look at her like that one more time.