So I feel like I did a half marathon with really shitty training but I actually did the damn thing. I finished it. I crossed the finish line! In exactly 2h 45 mins. So it's like, slow as hell but mega painful and just a massive slog. I'm gonna run it down for you in the stages as I felt them. 1) Why is this start line so slow. I've placed myself in between 2h 35 and 2h 45 pacers. The 2h 45 pacer said she is gonna walk. I'm bracing myself. I literally just want to finish before 3h. Okay they're all running. Everyone is running. I'm off apparently! Wahhhhhhh 2) okay I'm turning my running playlist on - RUN BY GHOSTFACE KILLAH? Is this for real? It's like my Spotify knows. This is weird. 3) alright I'm jogging slow. Winchester is so pretty. Why do these roads wind up hills though? Oh wait the big hill starts now? Okay the first three miles are uphill? Okay yeah. Yeah. I'm almost at a mile and I'm still jogging - I might be able to do this. Breathing breathing breathing. 4) And I'm walking. Why is this course like flat flat flat and BIG STEEP HILL NOW. This is crap. Okay that's 2 miles. 5) I've made it to three and a half miles and I've got shooting pains up the back of my legs. Ankle to butt, fully. This is punishment for my run on Thursday. Should have just run on Wednesday. Why didn't I rest enough? Fuck it I gotta try. 6) currently on a run/walk cycle, equal parts. The 2h 35 pacer is way ahead of me but the 2h 45 is way behind me. I'm actually alone for a lot of miles 6-9, it's weird. My playlist is banging though. Honestly, I ran for the whole of Ja Rule's Put It On Me and it felt okay. I'm about to go further than I ever have though now so it's a bit weird. 7) fuck this shitty little village Oliver's Battery WHY IS YOUR WHOLE VILLAGE A HILL. NONE OF THIS IS GOOD. It's hot and sunny and there's no fucking water but there is this gorgeous kid omg she has jelly babies I LOVE YOU LITTLE GIRL YOU HAVE SAVED ME. THERES WATER AT THE TOP YESSSSS 8) fuck me 10 miles THIS IS HORRIBLE. I'm quitting. I'm a) surprised my knee hasn't kicked in with its bitching and whining yet, b) my ankles haven't buckled and c) I'm not gonna throw up any time soon cos I drank that water too fast UGH but these consistent shooting pains which are now there whichever way I run with my feet are taking over my whole life. 9) okay, 11.5 miles. The 2h 45 pacer is running with me. I'm still gonna make my goal. There were two of them - I won't ask where her friends are. She tells me my pains are because I haven't run this far before. She doesn't know I had them in Mile 1 but OH WELL. And off she goes. thinking about the end and I feel like crying for real at this point but I suck it up and start deep breathing because I'm gonna stop if I cry now. 10) okay I'm disheartened that I can see the 2h 45 in front of me and I'm about 30 seconds behind. This is not fun and OH SHIT THERES MILE 13 right I can't have shit music for this. I need to run as much as I can. Dr Dre's What's The Difference. Yes. 11) OH MY GOD 400 m to go WHAT IS HAPPENING WHERE IS THE FUCKING END. Right there's the churchyard - they're gonna make me go all the way back round. Fuck. I can't listen to Mya's My Love Is Like Woah. I need a good one, come on Spotify... YESSSS ITS ANDERSON PAK. Some excellent disco funky kaytranada positive vibes IM SO CLOSE FUCKKKKK. 12) THERE'S JAMIE okay hold back the tears til you get to the end it's literally right there. And Anderson Pak is blaring in my ears and so is everyone's cheering me over the line and I can see it and I can't even stop my grin - my face hurts from smiling. At least these photos will be good OH MY GOSH. OH MY ACTUAL GOD IVE FINISHED. FUCKKKKK MY TOES HURT SO BAD. Okay I can't believe this. Okay there's the ugly crying. And then some guy tried to interview me for the radio and I was blubbering "I'm sorry I can't talk right now!" And then I didn't even know what size tshirt to get and then Jamie was there and then I cried for about 10 mins. I didn't even think about what my time was. He told me - 2h 45. Exactly on the money. The 2h 45 pacer came literally right in front of me - she was a minute fast. And then I cried more and then suddenly that was it. It was over. I've showered and decompressed. My toes are mangled but I definitely think I could do another one. In about 6-8 months with some more speed training haha. Really. I really should train more next time.
